There is really no reason to commend Hootie Johnson

	Hootie Johnson never wavered on Augusta National's exclusion of women. David Cannon/Getty Images

Last week, Hootie Johnson stepped down as chairman of the Augusta National Golf Club, a club known for both housing the Masters and being willing to hire a man named "Hootie."

I know old rich guys tend to have nicknames like that, but if someone's job application crossed my desk with "Hootie" in the header, I'd say, "Next!" Then I would remind them that I'm a standup comedian and thus cannot hire anyone.

Hootie is best known as the sexist who refused to let women become members at Augusta, saying he would not be forced to act "at the point of a bayonet." Seriously, he really said "bayonet." The story spread quickly as the media furiously scribbled with their quill pens before filing via carrier pigeon.

Despite a mental high-five from Keith Hernandez, Johnson received criticism from most people who had mouths. And now that he's retiring, we're supposed to forget his sexism and shake his hand for the job he did. Too bad women can't reach his hand from the other side of the club gate. And other people are creeped out shaking hands with someone that old.

The only thing older than Hootie is his mind-set, trapped in a time when the phrase "separate but equal" didn't refer to a sugar substitute. I understand that Augusta is a private club and thus legally allowed to do a lot of things that are morally reprehensible. But just because you're allowed to do something doesn't mean you ought to. It is still legal to shoot an Indian on horseback in North Dakota, provided you are in a covered wagon. But I bet there'd be an uproar if it happened.

Some of you might say that Hootie was merely preserving the rich history of the club. Except under Hootie's term in office, the course went through the biggest overhauls in its history, adding 460 yards to make Augusta the second-longest major championship of all time.

"We have never been worried about scores," Johnson said while defending the changes. "Our greatest concern has always been that the course be kept current with the times."

The course, sure. Just not the membership.

But Hootie and the Blowhards' stern refusal to bow to the whim of musket-wielding feminists was only part of the problem. To prevent any possible backlash from the women's groups he angered, Hootie canceled all course sponsorship for two years. That move cost Augusta millions of dollars in revenue -- but because Hootie is retiring, everyone has to say how wonderful a chairman he was.

Jim Furyk discussed Hootie's "positive legacy." Davis Love and Vijay Singh both used the phrase "great job." And Golf Digest's Ron Sirak went as far as crediting Hootie with Tiger Woods' first Masters victory in 1997.

I understand eulogizing a man's "positive legacy" after he dies, but Hootie simply retired. And I am one of the people happy about that. I wish Hootie Johnson the best as he spends more quality time with his wife and four daughters. Provided none of them are members of Augusta.

Hootie will be replaced by Billy Payne, who has a great name if he ever wanted to become a wrestler or a comic book villain. Payne is best known for running Atlanta's 1996 Olympics. You know, the games with tons of transportation problems and overcommercialization and a bombing? What? Was Michael Brown busy?

What does the future hold for Augusta? There's no way to tell. I hope that, whatever else he does, Payne will be forward-thinking enough to update Augusta's membership policies. Or at least get a good villain costume.

Steve Hofstetter is a nationally touring comedian whose column appears every Monday morning on SI.com. His new album, "Cure for the Cable Guy," is in stores everywhere. For show information, tickets or to send him poorly worded hate mail, email steve@stevehofstetter.com.