Stewart, have you seen Snakes on a Plane yet? I highly recommend it if you haven't.
-- Rob Reiter, Brooklyn, N.Y.

Not going to happen. There are only two things in this world that scare me, and one of them is snakes.

Basil: What's the other?
Austin: Excuse me?
Basil: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

Is it likely that Tennessee will fire Phillip Fulmer if he has another sub-par year, or is he "untouchable" because of his allegiance to the program over the last 25 years? One would think that Tennessee has the resources to go out and get a big-name coach and quit relying on the conservative mentality of a former offensive lineman.
-- Tim, Hendersonville, Tenn.

No one short of Bobby Bowden or Joe Paterno is untouchable anymore (and even those guys take more than their share of heat). But I would think Fulmer has earned considerable leeway seeing as he brought the school a national championship and has a street named after him. So I guess it depends on your definition of "sub-par." Is 7-5 considered sub-par by Tennessee standards? Yes. Is it bad enough to merit firing one of the most successful coaches in school history? I would hope not, especially considering that -- in this case -- 7-5 would be progress. As is usually the case in such situations, I'm sure AD Mike Hamilton will take stock of the entire "climate" surrounding the program before making such a decision, and that includes more than just wins and losses. Is recruiting still on track? Have the fans and key boosters lost confidence? Is he troubled by the rash of disciplinary problems the Vols have faced over the past couple of seasons? All that will be taken into account. Unless, of course, Tennessee goes 10-2 this year, in which case all that other stuff suddenly won't seem quite as important.

As a Miami University grad, I've had the pleasure of watching MAC football for many years. While I thoroughly enjoy your column, might I ask why the MAC never seems to come up unless it is in regard to a MAC team playing a "big" school? I'm sure there are story lines in the MAC, C-USA, WAC, Mountain West and Sun Belt conferences, too.
-- Andy Dinovo, Delaware, Ohio

I'm as big a fan of the MAC as anyone. I think if you go back through the years, you'll find I've devoted far more column space to the conference than any other national writer. That said, I also came to a troubling realization somewhere along the way: Whenever I do write a column that focuses on one of the so-called mid-majors, nobody reads it.

Sorry to say, but such is the extreme gap in fan interest between the nation's big-name programs and everyone else that I could write 2,000 words of gibberish about Ohio State ("Troy Smith -- he's good. Ted Ginn Jr. -- he's pretty good, too. Antonio Pittman ... ") and it would get 20 times as many hits as a thorough, well-reported column about Miami U. I suppose this shouldn't be entirely surprising considering that Ohio State drew nearly twice as many fans to an open practice on Monday (28,000) than Miami averaged at its games last season (15,241) -- and the RedHawks ranked in the upper half of their conference, attendance-wise. I'm not saying everything I write is based on numbers (in fact, I have a column devoted entirely to non-BCS teams coming out this Friday) but, like any sensible writer, I'm going to cover the subjects of the most interest to my audience.

Virginia is entering what in all likelihood is a rebuilding year with a mediocre senior (Christian Olsen) set to start at QB. Why wouldn't Al Groh opt to take his lumps with freshman Jameel Sewell, a younger, athletic QB with more upside, to get him some experience?
-- Lance T., Davie, Fla.

This is kind of similar to the Georgia question I answered last week. You and I may think the Wahoos are in for a rebuilding season (in fact, it could be really, really rough), but the coach isn't going to concede that before the season even begins. What kind of message would that send to his team? He's going to put the guy out there who he thinks gives him the best chance to win right from the get-go, and obviously a senior who's been in the program for three years (after transferring from Notre Dame) and seen game action has a huge edge in that department over a redshirt freshman who's never stepped on the field. Now, if things do indeed get off to a rough start and it becomes apparent the Cavs aren't headed anywhere special with Olsen at the helm, then he might think about turning it over to the frosh and seeing what he can do. As of this writing, however, it wasn't even certain that Sewell was going to beat out fourth-year junior Kevin McCabe for the No. 2 spot.

Where is Florida?
-- Philip Robbins, Jacksonville, Fla.

We're still on this? Fine -- right below Georgia and Alabama, just north of Cuba.

Just an observation: It seems like one of the surest ways to get published in the Mailbag is either to make an idiotic statement or to insult you.
-- Chris Levonian, San Francisco

Well, Chris, you just got in without doing either.

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