 | Jay Cutler, the pride of Vanderbilt, is set to start his first regular-season opener. Dave Einsel/Getty Images |
By Eric Horowitz, Special to SI.com
After seven interminable months, the 2007 NFL season is finally here. On Thursday, Peyton Manning and his endorsement-deficient teammates got their title defense started on the right track by beating the Saints 41-10. This weekend the other 30 teams will begin their quest to unseat the Colts. Well, actually 29 teams. As usual, the Dolphins' only goals for the season are to start an aging, plodding quarterback and drive their coach to another job.
For anybody being forced against their will by a co-worker to participate in an office pool, feel free to pass these picks off as your own. All I ask is that you give me 72 percent of your winnings.
Kansas City at Houston (-3)
While the Texans didn't have the HBO Hard Knocks crew filming their training camp like the Chiefs did, their practices were not without a reality TV presence. Last week, a crew from A&E's Intervention had the cameras rolling as Matt Schaub's friends and family tried to persuade him not to risk his life playing behind the Texans' porous offensive line.
Pick: Chiefs
Denver at Buffalo (+3.5)
Mike Shanahan will officially hand the reins of the franchise to second-year quarterback Jay Cutler, thereby proving wrong the Vanderbilt guidance counselor who advised Cutler to pick a new profession because no Vandy player would ever lead an NFL team.
Pick: Bills
Miami at Washington (-3)
The Redskins announced that they have signed tight end Chris Cooley to a six-year, $30 million contract extension. The team will now begin working on an extension for Cooley's booty shorts.
Pick: Redskins
Pittsburgh at Cleveland (+4.5)
The two games last year between these teams were marred by the verbal sparring between Joey Porter and Kellen Winslow Jr. Although Porter is no longer with the Steelers, he still took the time this week to send Winslow a disparaging E-card.
Pick: Steelers
New England at New York Jets (+6)
Rodney Harrison will be noticeably absent from the Patriots' lineup as he begins serving his four-game suspension for violating the league's substance abuse policy. Although Harrison admitted taking HGH, he wants everybody to know that not once did he "use steroids." Well, that's good news -- now all of his baseball home run records will remain untarnished.
Pick: Jets
Philadelphia at Green Bay (+3)
If any Eagles' fans still have doubts about the health of Donovan McNabb, they need to check out McNabbIsBack.com. Thanks to Vitaminwater, not only did McNabb make a full recovery, but he also was able to free the soul of an old man by defeating a team of hero football ghosts.
Pick: Green Bay
Carolina at St. Louis (-1)
When these teams met last year, Marc Bulger was sacked seven times in the Rams' 15-0 loss. To prevent that kind of beating from happening again, the Rams are working on bringing in the versatile Rick Ankiel for a one-game stint at right tackle.
Pick: Panthers
Atlanta at Minnesota (-2.5)
Joey Harrington's impressive preseason has somewhat lifted the cloud of doom that was settling over Falcons fans. Meanwhile, the Tarvaris Jackson cloud of doom grows stronger every day.
Pick: Atlanta
Tennessee at Jacksonville (-7)
Vince Young finally begins his season-long quest to avoid falling victim to the "Madden Curse." To curry favor with the football video game gods, Young has constructed a shrine to the great Christian Okoye where he meditates every day.
Pick: Titans
Chicago at San Diego (-6)
The Bears had planned to donate $1,000 to local charities for every Rex Grossman touchdown pass this season. However, at the request of the charities, they will instead donate $1,000 for every Grossman interception.
Pick: Chargers
Detroit at Oakland (-2.5)
JaMarcus Russell's holdout may soon come to an end, according to reports. Russell says he's already looking forward to holding out again when the Raiders try to put the franchise tag on him in 2014.
Pick: Raiders
Tampa Bay at Seattle (-5.5)
Despite rumors that Bucs coach Jon Gruden wanted to cut him, Chris Simms managed to make the team as the fourth quarterback. For those who don't know what a fourth-string quarterback does, Simms' job will be to follow around the third-stringer and make sure he doesn't drop the clipboard.
Pick: Seahawks
New York Giants at Dallas (-6)
Michael Strahan has finally ended his holdout and he hopes to play in the Giants' opener Sunday night. Strahan racked up more than $500,000 in fines for missing practice during the holdout, but don't worry, as part of his infamous divorce settlement, Strahan's ex-wife will pay half of it.
Pick: Cowboys
Baltimore at Cincinnati (-2.5)
Before the game, the Bengals will unveil their new slogan for the season. "The 2007 Cincinnati Bengals: Fifty-Three players. Seventeen coaches. Zero dogfighting indictments."
Pick: Ravens
Arizona at San Francisco (-3)
To pay homage to the late, great Bill Walsh, 49ers quarterback Alex Smith will throw a quick slant on the team's first 15 offensive plays.
Pick: 49ers
