Bright lights, Badgers, and bronchitis

	Jenn wishes she were laying on a beach in her bikini, but SI had other ideas ... like Madison, Wisconsin. Photo by Rick Wilson
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By Jenn Sterger

While most college students were packing bikinis and sunscreen for their spring break vacations, I was scouring the local malls for snow boots. Everywhere I went I was met with the same odd expression and the ever-so-redundant question: What the hell do you need snow boots for in March, let alone Florida? Apparently the powers that be at Sports Illustrated have a great sense of humor, because just when I had started to get the feeling back in my fingers from being at Wichita State, someone came up with the brilliant idea: "Let's send Jenn to Wisconsin." Granted, the Badgers have been ranked in the top five for the greater portion of basketball season, but sending a thin-blooded Southern girl to the tundra just seemed like cowgirl cruelty if you ask me.

Barring the below freezing temps, I actually had a great time in Madison. The student body was super hospitable and were more than willing to share their secrets to being one of the top academic (and party schools) in the nation.

• Upon my arrival in Madison, I was invited to hang out with a few members of the Badgers basketball team: Tanner Bronson, Greg Stiemsma, Joe Krabbenhoft, and Jason Chappell (a.k.a. J-Cheesy). Needless to say, even in high heels these kids stood well above my 5-foot-nothing frame. Maybe the difference in height could be attributed to the Buy-In-Bulk size Flintstone vitamin jar that Joe had in on top of the fridge -- I guess they weren't kidding when they said "10 Million Strong and growing." He said the purple ones were gone, but I could have a red one if I liked. Of course I had to ask them about their Wis-CAH-sin accents, as they harassed me for Southern twang. I had never really thought I had an accent until I met these guys. They particularly mocked my use of the word 'fixin' and asked me why us Southerners were always breaking things? I was helping to shave Greg's signature game day Mohawk. When the teasing got too bad, I just reminded him that I was the one with the shaver, and unless he wanted the Britney Shears treatment he would be wise to keep his mouth shut.

• I spent Saturday morning at the Henry Villas Zoo. When we got there the place looked deserted, definitely void of any kind of wildlife, and as for "Badgers?.. I didn't see no stinking' badgers!" Turns out most of the animals had been moved into their winter homes due to the large amount of snowfall recently. The badger, though indigenous to Wisconsin, had also been moved inside, and apparently wasn't too thrilled about it either. Badgers are known for digging underground burrows, but with floors made of concrete our buddy was forced to settle for a plastic kiddie pool filled with mulch and bedding. The animal itself really resembled a giant hamster-skunk hybrid, and was absolutely adorable. So why the hell did the University of Wisconsin claim this animal as its mascot? Turns out, badgers are anything but the cuddly little guys they look like. In fact, the University of Wisconsin used to have a real live Badger attend games. This, however, was short-lived as they figured out that the little guys were quite temperamental and that basketball players played best when they still had all their fingers intact.

• My crew and I watched the game from a little place called State-Street-Brat-Stop. The place has an awesome gameday atmosphere, complete with stadium seating and even train whistle that blows whenever the team scores. But the main reason we headed to Brats was to check out the legendary BratBurger. For those who have never had the opportunity to try such a delicacy, it is essentially a heart attack on a bun: A hamburger and spicy brat with all the toppings of your choice. They taste amazing, but you will need a bottle of Tums on hand. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!