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Campus Chronicles

A look back at the strangest stories of the school year

Posted: Wednesday May 16, 2007 8:17AM; Updated: Wednesday May 16, 2007 9:59AM
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By Eric Horowitz

It's been another wild year at college campuses around the country. Cal students posed naked to save trees, Dartmouth banned water pong, and a Maryland professor had his Duke chair stolen. However, none of these stories managed to crack SIOC's Top 10. Without further ado, here are the 10 stories that did.

Ball State students received an unexpected surprise when a horror movie/porn film was shot on campus last semester. No word on whether Tera Patrick was involved.
Ball State students received an unexpected surprise when a horror movie/porn film was shot on campus last semester. No word on whether Tera Patrick was involved.
Barry Brecheisen/WireImage

1. Ball Sate University administrators discovered that attempting to bring some culture and prestige to their school can have unforeseen consequences -- such as unknowinglyallowing a porno movie to be shot on campus. This semester marked the release of Vampire Diaries an x-rated horror porn movie that was shot at the school's Virginia Ball Center for Creative Inquiry. The school claimed it was under the impression the movie was just a horror film, and said it never gave permission for a pornographic movie to be shot on campus. It's a shame the school was misled, although perhaps it should have been more skeptical of a movie staring Rod Hammer and Sassy Spreadum.

2. The crackdown on bad behavior at college basketball games has gotten out of hand. A Charlotte student was kicked out of a game against UMass for trying to alert a referee that his fly was open. The student, who had attended every home game for four years, received an apology from the school's athletic department. As for the referee, his inability to notice even the most basic things could lead to a job working NBA games.

3. Another hazing investigation rocked a college campus -- this time it involved Cal's baseball team. The investigation stemmed from an incident in which campus police discovered eight veteran baseball players and six freshmen players near the school's baseball diamond at 11 p.m. It was 34 degrees outside and the freshmen, two of whom were blindfolded, were wearing nothing but thongs. The best part of the story is that Cal's athletic director had cleared the baseball team to be on the premises because their coaches thought they were having a legitimate team-building activity. What did they think was going to be going on at 11 at night, trust falls? Three legged races? A slumber party? I wonder if blindfolding scantily clad freshmen is how Noah, Horford, Brewer, and the rest of the Gators became such a solid team.

4. In February, one of the Big 12's wildest and wackiest traditions came under fire. The Kansas State tradition ofthrowing live chickens onto the court before tip-off against Kansas drew the ire of PETA, and the animal rights organization asked the school to put an end to it. While I certainly don't condone the behavior of the Kansas State fans, I think it's interesting/hilarious that PETA seemed just as upset about the chickens being subjected "to the loud and boisterous atmosphere of a sporting event," than the potentially fatal act of being thrown onto the court. Nevertheless, if Kansas State fans are searching more humane way to taunt Kansas, they should throw one chicken onto the court for every NCAA Championship the Kansas basketball team has won in the last 20 years.

5. Thanks to a new Duke service, Cameron Crazies have the opportunity to stay at Duke for all of eternity. The school began offering members of the Duke community a chance to have their ashes scattered or buried at a Duke garden --for $25,000. Now I'm no expert in the current free market marginal costs of funeral homes, nor have I ever seen an episode of Six Feet Under, but $25,000 to spread ashes seems a little bit steep. To quote Walter Sobchak of The Big Lebowski after Donnie's untimely death, "Just because we're bereaved that doesn't make us saps!!!" Perhaps these words simply don't apply to former Blue Devils.

6. Penn kicker Derrick Zoch has turned himself into the Thomas Edison of field goal kicking. Zoch invented a mechanical football holder that simulates the snap and hold that occur in a real live game situation. Zoch's invention was one of 10 finalists in Penn's "Winning Pennvention," the school's annual contest for student inventors. Zoch called his invention the "Quicker Kicker," which he narrowly chose over his second choice, "Machine That's Smarter Than Tony Romo."

7. The rivalry between Texas and Texas A&M made its way to the courtroom. The Texas Board of Regents sued a College Station apparel vendor for manipulating the Longhorn's logo on its "Saw'em off" T-shirts. The T-shirts, which featured the Longhorn silhouette with the horns sawed off, had been sold without incident since 1997. However, less than two weeks after the Longhorns lost at home to the Aggies in their regular season finale, Texas decided to file suit. If the T-shirt manufacturers are forced to stop making the shirts, they could be forced to go with their backup "Everything is Smaller at the University of Texas" design.

8. The penny-pinching of college kids reached new heights. Some students at the University of Minnesota began going out drinking immediately after donating blood, because the blood loss allowed them to get drunk on fewer drinks. Medical experts continue to caution that such behavior can be extremely dangerous, but it may not be enough to dissuade students who have long dreamed of saving both lives and booze money at the same time.

9. A UMass student became so upset over a bad grade that he decided to take legal action. The student sued the school on 15 counts, including violation of the 1st amendment and intentional affliction of emotional distress, because he felt he deserved an "A" instead of a "C" in a philosophy class. This kind of unfortunate incident really makes you pine for the good old days when a student dissatisfied with his grade would just resort to leaving a flaming bag of poop of the doorsteps of his professor's home.

10. N.C. State students learned it's possible to eat a box of donuts and stay in shape at the same time. This school held the third annual Krispy Kreme Challenge, an event where competitors had one hour to run two miles, eat a box of donuts, and then run the two miles back. The event was a fundraiser for the North Carolina Children's Hospital and in just three years the number of competitors has gone from a dozen to over 1,300. I'm a big fan of this event, not only because it's for a good cause, but because it also gives college kids a chance to vomit from something other that alcohol.

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