By Eric Horowitz

The Worst

	Sorry Middle Tennessee State students, you got the other George Clinton, not the master of P-Funk, to speak at your graduation. Jeff Gross/Getty Images

1. Middle Tennessee State -- George Clinton

There's no doubt MTSU students were ecstatic when they found out George Clinton, the famous musician, was going to be their graduation speaker. Similarly, there's no doubt there were angry and disappointed when they found out their speaker was George S. Clinton, the famous composer, and not George Clinton the architect of P-Funk. How could a school do this to its student body? Did they think students wouldn't be disappointed when they found out their speaker wasn't the "Prime Minister of Funk", but rather the guy who composed the movie score for the sequel to Mortal Combat? It just seems cruel to me. It's like when George Costanza was conned into buying Jon Voight's car, only this time an entire student body was tricked.

2. Bowling Green -- Judson Laipply

Laipply is a comedian and motivational speaker, but he is best known as the man behind the Internet video The Evolution of Dance. So that was the best the school could do? A Youtube dancing sensation? What happened? Were the Star Wars Kid and the Angry German Boy already booked? I expected more from Bowling Green.

3. University of Wisconsin -- Andre De Shields

No, Wisconsin didn't get Delino's little known brother to speak at its graduation. Instead, it got a little known Broadway actor. The school also loses degree of difficulty points for bringing in an alumnus. Couldn't it at least have found a nobody who went to a different college? I guess the new graduates will have to be satisfied with listening to somebody who once made an appearance in a Cosby episode -- and by the way, that's not The Cosby Show, it's "Cosby", Bill Cosby's much less critically acclaimed and much more short-lived sitcom from the late 1990s.

4. Texas Tech -- Susan Polgar

Texas Tech eschewed the normal speaker choices -- famous politicians, journalists, scientists, and artists -- in order to bring in Polgar, a four-time women's world chess champion. Now, I like chess as much as the next guy (which is slightly more than Boggle and slightly less than Stratego), but this does not seem like a good choice. Polgar isn't even the top ranked U.S. woman anymore. That honor goes to her sister, Judit. At least Texas Tech graduates could be sure that Polgar wouldn't go over on her allotted time.

5. George Washington University -- Nobody

GW originally planned to have school president Stephen Joel Trachtenburg give the keynote address, but there was so much opposition to having him speak, he decided to step down. It turns out that on the day of their graduation, students don't want to hear the same person they've been hearing for the last four years. I'm not quite sure how this never occurred to anybody. After much deliberation, the school then decided not to have a keynote speaker. Hey, it could have been worse. They could have had George Clinton the composer.