Donation ideas for Florida's not-so-wealthy alums

By Patrick Irving

The University of Florida's new "Gateway of Champions" fundraising campaign offers Gator boosters unprecedented opportunities to both support and enjoy the school's powerhouse football program. For a mere $5 million you can join the team for breakfast and ride the bus with them to a game. Too rich for your blood? A lousy $1 million gets you a seat at the dinner table with Coach Urban Meyer and his family.

We wonder how much President Bush had to pay to shake the hand of Florida coach Urban Meyer. AP

If you're too cheap for those options, but still want to show your Gator Pride, don't worry. There are more modestly priced alternatives with which you may feel more comfortable. A sampling:

$5,000,000: The Ultimate Gator Experience

Eat breakfast and ride the bus to the stadium with the team; Participate in the Gator Walk; Run through the tunnel.

$1,000,000: An Evening with the Meyers

Enjoy a lovely dinner with the coach and his family.

$25,000: The Very Nice Gator Experience

Slap all the Gators high-five as they come off the bus; Clip QB Tim Tebow's toenails; Drink all the Gatorade you can handle.

$10,000: An Evening with the Meyers' Next Door Neighbor

Sit on the patio and gawk at Coach Meyer and his family until dusk (please avoid direct eye contact).

$8,000 or best offer: Jet Ski (used)

High performance, twin cylinder engine; 600 pounds of thrust; seat missing

$5,000: The So-So Gator Experience

Wave to the Gators from your seat on the 20 yard line; Sweep up locker room (including Tebow's toenail clippings); Drink all the Gatorade you can handle

$1,200: An Evening with the Meyers' Dog

Walk the littlest Gator before bedtime (You may ask him anything you wish about Coach Meyer and his family).

$500: The Sub-Par Gator Experience

Yell at the Gators as you watch them on television; Receive halftime phone call from Albert, the Gator's mascot; Enjoy one 32 oz. Gatorade of your choice

$250: An Evening with Stan Newmark

Sit back and enjoy an Extra Value Meal** at McDonalds while talking Gator football (and dishing on the Meyer family) with another fan of similar commitment to the program (in this case, Stan Newmark).

** Excludes Double Quarter Pounder Meal

$100: The Painful Gator Experience

Assistant Coach Charlie Strong supervises you and one hundred other Gator fans as you complete 2,000 squat thrusts in the parking lot of a Home Depot (No Gatorade provided).

$95: T-Shirt

100% cotton with bold screen printing. Available in M, L, XL and XXL. Made in Honduras.

$18.75: An Evening with Tim Tebow's Toenail Clippings

You will receive a small baggie via Fed-Ex. Enjoy!

Patrick Irving writes and edits the popular website scriptedsports.com.