Phil Knight's $100 million gift, top party schools and more

By Patrick Irving

You've got questions, SIOC's got answers ...

Sorry Matt Honas, we thought a picture of Scarlett Johansson was more appealing than one of Kansas State's Yamon Figures. AP

The Photo Gallery titled: NFL's 10 Fastest Wide Receivers completely ignored the fastest player at the 2007 NFL Combine. Kansas State's Yamon Figures had a better time in the 40 (4.30 sec.) than Calvin Johnson (4.35 sec). As a proud alumnus of K-State, [I urge you to] get the facts straight and give credit where it's due.
- Matt Honas, Houston

Zing! You got us. As a gesture of apology/gratitude we will run either an exciting Yamon Figures action photo or a gratuitous Scarlett Johansson cleavage shot. I'll hold while you decide...

I can't believe SI is jumping on the "Colt Brennan is a legitimate Heisman candidate" bandwagon. He's a system quarterback -- nothing more.
- Jerry Pfeiffer, Memphis, Tenn.

Hmm. He threw for more than 5,500 yards and 58 touchdowns last year, but that's not legit because he is a "system quarterback"? What does that even mean? Every other school in the country could pass for five dozen TDs per year but they choose not to?

QB: Hey coach, should we go out and hang 40 points on these chumps today?

COACH: Sorry, that's not our style. Let's try for a handful of field goals and hope for the best.

QB: But the more points we score...

COACH: Uh-uh-uh, we do not abide by that philosophy young man.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Why does Jesus only get credit for the wins and never blame for the losses?
- Cara Clemons, Detroit

He's the Boss' son.

Phil Knight gave the Oregon athletic department $100 million?! Is that fair to the schools they compete against?
- Josh Toobin, Seattle

Sure. That's how the game is played. You shouldn't worry too much about it, though. Rumor has it, that donation breaks down something like this:

$4 Million: Stadium upkeep and renovation

$3 Million: Field house plumbing and lighting repair

$1 Million: Dinner with Urban Meyer

$92 Million: Gift certificate to Niketown

I know West Virginia looks tough, but come on, Louisville has to be the team to beat in the Big East, right?
- Bruce Gutman, Louisville, Ky.

Sorry. The Cardinals are only going as far as Brian Brohm takes them ... and he's sure to be distracted this year because one would assume he gets three to four sloppy, sobbing phone calls per night from Bobby Petrino.

When will people realize that losing the national championship games in football and basketball to Florida in one year is painful enough, and all the bad mouthing and trash talking against OSU isn't necessary [like in the last Ask SIOC?] Finish this sentence for me: We love to bash Ohio State because ...
- Orin Hemminger, Columbus, Ohio

... we're just jealous (there, does that feel better?)

West Virginia was named Best Party School? That's all hype. They're just getting by on name recognition.
- Jim Griffin, Wilmington, Del.

While there's probably a good chance you're just jealous (There ain't no party like a Wilmington party?), you may be on to something regarding the awarding of these Best ____ School titles based on name recognition. Look at these lesser known categories:

Best Hair Color School: Auburn and Brown (tie)
Best Acceptable Stereotype School: Notre Dame
Best Hot Older Woman School: Washington State, BYU (tie)
Best Trojan War School: USC, Michigan State, Troy (tie)
Best Unmarried Non-Northern School: Southern Miss
Best Unused Don Imus Punchline School: Idaho
Best Joke Your Parents Don't Get School: Wichita State

What do the Hurricanes think of leaving the Orange Bowl for Dolphin Stadium?
- Brian Timlin, Jacksonville, Fla.

Most of them would probably rather they were leaving for Gainesville.

As a brand-new college freshman, what is the most important thing I need to know?
- Chris Barris, Boston

Make sure you document absolutely everything you do on your Facebook page. This is your first real taste of freedom, and it would be a shame -- no, a travesty -- if you did not have a photographic and/or video record of all of it.

Please don't make the youthful mistake of assuming some of your more intimate or embarrassing moments should not be broadcast on the Internet. Those are the funniest! And anyone who doesn't find them endearing and/or hilarious wouldn't be interested in viewing or circulating them for any reason anyway -- so relax.

And don't worry about the impact any of those indiscretions might have on you or your future. They will be forgotten before you know it. It's not like there's some magical machine out there that can search billions of files in a matter of nanoseconds and retrieve every miserable, regrettable incident ever associated with your name or likeness. That would be a different story.

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Patrick Irving writes and edits the popular Web site Scripted Sports.