Upsets, 59-year-old linebackers, great chests and more

By Adam Sweeney

Welcome to the Artist formerly known as the Monday Awards, where we always schedule legitimate non-conference teams at the start of the season ... like Appalachian State.

Mildly Disturbing Sign of the Week

Sorry Mississippi State, but LSU's 45-0 decimation of your team was nothing short of abuse. SI

LSU Pleads Guilty to Abusing Bulldogs.
Poor taste? Probably. Funny? We think so. And we'll just leave it at that.

The Right Guard Award

There are plenty of coaches beginning to perspire over their jobs. Michigan coach Lloyd Carr cut to the front of the line after losing to Appalachian State. Carr is no stranger to critics, especially after losses to Ohio State and a blowout to USC in last year's Rose Bowl. But being the first team ranked in the AP poll to lose to a Division 1-AA (excuse me, Division 1 Football Championship Subdivision) school could be too much for Michigan to take.

The Spirit of Chris Weinke Award

Former college football players spend countless hours longing for just one more chance to put on the pads and play. That dream became a reality for former Sul Ross State student Michael Flynt, 37 years after he last played. The 59-year-old, who was kicked off the team his senior year, found that he had one more year of eligibility. So he tried out for the team and made the roster as a linebacker. Who cares if he's eight years older than his coach and has two kids older than any of his teammates? We're just wondering if Metamucil falls under the list of banned substances in the NCAA.

The Tom Osborne's Smiling Award

Nebraska must have been having flashbacks to their glory days in the '90s when they ran 70 -- yes, 70 -- times for 413 yards against Nevada on Saturday. So much for the west coast offense. Maybe Bill Callahan watched a tape of the 1997 championship team. It's only the opening game but after seeing Missouri's performance versus Illinois, it might be time to place the Cornhuskers as the clear favorite in the Big 12 North.

The Night of the Living Dead Award

We aren't sure whether Halloween comes early in Cavalier country or not, but Virginia's offense played the part of a zombie perfectly. The team's 23-3 loss to Wyoming was, in a word, pathetic. The Cavaliers had eight drives that went three-and-out and a grand total of 110 yards on offense. Does Tiki Barber have any college eligibility left?

We're Bringing Brady Back Award

Notre Dame fans spent most of the summer puzzled over Charlie Weis and his secrecy about the starting QB position. Well, the cat's out of the bag. When Weis said there was no clear favorite he wasn't joking. The Irish rotated three quarterbacks -- Demetrius Jones, Jimmy Clausen, and Evan Sharpley -- with little success in a 33-3 loss to Georgia Tech. Sharpley was sacked seven times alone. Like it or not, all the pots of gold in the world aren't going to earn Notre Dame a BCS bid this year.

Chests of the Week

SIOC credits these Cal students for drawing the school's logo on their chests instead of just spelling out C-A-L. SI

Get your mind out of the gutter -- Chest of the Week isn't an homage to Pam Anderson or (SIOC fav) Kim Kardashian. Instead, it goes to these three Cal students who eschewed the traditional route of painting "C-A-L" on their chests for a more artistic rendering of the team's golden bear, which extended across three chests. Just tremendous.

The Out of the Frying Pan, into the Fire Award

USC running back Emmanuel Moody appeared on the west coast cover of Sports Illustrated earlier this month, an attempt to show off USC's depth at the position. Apparently the depth was too much for Moody, who he decided last week to transfer to Florida.

"I followed my heart," said Moody. "It's when you get that feeling that you know something is right and you can't really describe."

We don't know if Moody is familiar with the Florida offense but we'd bet the players fighting for the starting spot there will probably be a bit talented as well. (The Mondays wanted to make a joke suggesting that Moody could transfer to a Division I-AA team but even they're competitive now.)

The Writing's on the Wall Award

Baylor football coach Guy Morriss' spider sense must be tingling because he has put his 12-acre ranch on the real estate market. I'd like to pat Morris on the back and add the Benjamin Franklin quote of "failing to prepare is preparing to fail" but it looks like failing is what got Morris into this situation in the first place.

Morriss's realtor Camille Johnson explained that "Their children are raised and they are scaling down. They don't need all the space. They love the home!" Hmm, wonder if "scaling down" is the term Baylor will use if they let Morriss go after the season.

The Passing Pony Award

Seeing as there may never be another college football season where two high profile QBs are both named Colt, the Mondays wanted to make a competition between Colt Brennan and McCoy. The player who performs best each week will hold the title at that time. To even the field the strength of each Colt's opponent will be taken into account. For example. say Brennan throws 10 TDs versus Idaho (which could very well happen) while McCoy throws 3 TDs in a win versus Oklahoma, McCoy would hold the title for that week since his effort is relatively better.

Having said that, the first week's Passing Pony Award goes to Brennan, who had 6 touchdowns and 416 yards in one half. Mccoy, on the other hand, threw for 223 yards, 2 TDs, and 2 interceptions ... versus Arkansas State?

The Longhorns nearly followed Michigan's lead but managed to hold off the Indians. Hopefully this will be a wakeup call to the Horns because they face a much tougher opponent next week, No. 22 TCU.

The Aaron Rodgers/Brady Quinn Award

While we're on the subject of Michigan, Wolverines QB Chad Henne didn't do much to solidify his hype as a top prospect in the 2008 NFL draft. Henne was 19 of 37 for 233 yards, with one TD and INT. Brian Brohm must be looking better all the time to scouts.

The Feel Good Moment of the Week

Virginia Tech Athletic Director Jim Weaver sent out a letter encouraging the Hokie community to cheer for their opponent, East Carolina, during their game.

"The sports world has grieved with us and also helped us heal," Weaver wrote. "... I ask that you remember the kindness, generosity, and support" of opponents."

ECU gave $100,000 to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund before the game and deserves credit for their effort to help the Virginia Tech community heal.

You can read Adam Sweeney's blog at Fan Nation here.