The Monday Awards
The Orange are glad to win one; shocking off-field events
Posted: Monday September 24, 2007 2:54PM; Updated: Monday September 24, 2007 2:54PM
Welcome to this week's Monday Awards, where we're auctioning off a few of O.J.'s possessions and giving the proceeds to Latrell Sprewell.
Team of the Week
I'm going to give this award to Syracuse for pretty much dominating Louisville. The Orange were 0-3 and 36.5 point underdogs coming into the game. (My brain-deficient buddy just asked me how a team can score half of a point. Am I allowed to smack him?) No way did Syracuse have a chance in this one. Then the 'Cuse dropped 423 passing yards on the Cardinals and pulled off a 38-35 victory.
Player of the Week
Did you know that Tim Tebow was born in the Philippines? Maybe it's something in the water over there that made him really ridiculously good at football. In the victory over Ole Miss, he threw for 261 yards and rumbled for 166 more. That's 427 total yards for Tebow alone. As a team, Ole Miss only had 390 total yards.
Play of the Week
If you didn't see LSU's fake field goal then head over to YouTube and check it out. Sick play. Holder Matt Flynn tossed a no-look over the shoulder pass to kicker Colt David, who ran for a touchdown. Come on...This Colt David guy, he's a soccer player for Pete's sake. He's not supposed to score touchdowns.
The Horseshoes and Hand Grenades Award
Ball State almost pulled off the second biggest upset of the year at Nebraska. The Cardinals had it in their beaks. A game-winning touchdown was dropped and a game-winning field goal missed. They were thisclose. I mean, if you look at all the stats, except the score, you'd think Ball State had won. The Cardinals had more yards on offense (610-552) and more first downs (27-25). Ah, but in the end, the score's really the only stat that matters.
The Old Six Is Better than Three Award
Alabama came back from a 10-point deficit against Georgia, but the Tide learned a tough but valuable lesson in overtime. It was a wise man who once said, "A field goal is good, but a touchdown is better." 'Bama got the field goal. Georgia won.
The Luck of the Irish Award
A big congratulations is in order for Notre Dame. With a loss to Michigan State the team became the first Fighting Irish football squad in 119 illustrious years to start off the season 0-4. Somebody should get that Leave-Britney-Alone guy to post a video on Charlie Weis. How dare someone make fun of Weis after all he's been through! All you people care about is making money off of him. He's a human!
The Fight For Your Right Award
The rivalry between North Carolina A&T and North Carolina Central goes back to 1934. That's 73 years for bad blood to simmer and stew. After NCC scored a game-ending touchdown last weekend, the team decided to celebrate by stomping on the A&T logo. A&T players weren't too pleased about that. A fight broke out and police eventually had to use pepper spray to separate the two teams, which left at least one player vomiting outside the locker room.
The Big Heart Award
Louisville freshman center Clarence Holloway underwent open-heart surgery last weekend. During a routine physical, doctors discovered a tear in the wall of the 7-foot-1 center's aorta. (Imagine the size of a 7-footer's aorta.) Much to the chagrin of Wildcats fans, Holloway is expected to make a full recovery.
The Not the Coldest Beer in the Fridge Award
Louisville wide receiver Mario Urrutia got called for not one, but two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties in the second half of the Cardinals' loss to Syracuse. Not only that, but he also dropped five balls. Oops.
The No Respect Award
By the transitive property of football, Wofford should be ranked in the top 20 NCAA I-A football programs. It's like this. Appalachian State loses to Wofford but beats Michigan who beats former No. 10 Penn State. So Wofford therefore should be ranked higher than Penn State. Did I get that right? I never was very good at math.
The Best Student Managers Award
Who says you have to run a 4.4 40 to help your team win a football game? During Virginia's contest against UNC, Cavaliers student managers standing behind the goalposts clearly saw a UVA field goal kick go through the up-rights. But the back judge forgot to bring his glasses to the game and ruled the kick no-good. (He obviously didn't stay at a Holiday Inn last night.) The student managers raced down the sideline and convinced Virginia coach Al Groh to challenge the missed field goal call, which was overruled. Virginia went on to win by two. Great work team, but here's my question: Isn't it a little disconcerting when your coach is taking advice from a gaggle of college students screaming at him from the sideline?
The Pimp-My-Ride Award
Auburn guard Frank Tolbert has six fingers on each hand. (I know this because I once wrote an article about them.) He also wants his car back. Franky Six-Fingers was arrested for driving his car off the impound lot after office hours. Apparently, he trespassed on facility grounds and then drove his SUV straight through a metal fence. Frank, how many times have we told you? That's not the proper way to drive the lane.