Game of the week/weak, Cops at FSU, will ND finally win?

By Phil Guidry

Looking ahead to this weekend's action ...

Game of the Week

Cal and Oregon are playing in our game of the week -- let's hope USC fans don't get jealous. Rob Holt/Icon SMI

Cal at Oregon. For those of you residing east of the Rockies, you may want to sit down for a second: the very concept of a big Pac-10 game that doesn't involve USC may just blow your mind. The showdown at Autzen will feature two of the most electrifying offenses in the nation, and these two teams proved their defenses are clearly ready to challenge USC by allowing a combined 58 points last weekend to Arizona and Stanford. (Ducks by 4).

Game of the Weak

Florida International vs. Middle Tennessee. These teams are a combined 0-8 so far this season. Upon hearing that stat, Les Miles asked, "How do we get one of them on our non-conference schedule?" When told that one of them already was, he responded, "Well, then how about the other one?" (MTSU wins in a penalty kick shootout).

Uniformly Awful

It seems only fitting that a dynamic, badly dressed team such as Oregon would be featured in both the game of the week and the ugly uniform showdown. In fact, the only thing uglier than Oregon's uniforms was Stanford outscoring them 28-3 in the second quarter last week. But if Cal can find a way to sport their all-mustard attire, we could have an Ugly Uni Apocalypse. There hasn't been that much hideous fashion in one place since Serena Williams cleaned out her closet.

Les Miles Juggernaut Schedule Award

As the SEC continues to back up Les Miles' claim that USC has an easier title-game road than if they played in Dixie, LSU takes a long and brutal road trip to ... New Orleans, where it will face Tulane. Having achieved his preseason goal of getting his team to the Superdome, Miles can now sit back, relax and focus on updating his resume for Ann Arbor. (Tigers by 40).

GE/NBC Investment Tracker

Will Notre Dame fans finally celebrate a win this weekend? We say no way. John Biever/SI

Tracking the fortunes of college football's greatest corporation, Notre Dame, we find its stock to be ... up as they face Purdue, but only in the context of what is becoming an historic disaster of a season. Losing to Michigan State by less than three touchdowns at home, even while getting shutout in the second half, is considered a dramatic improvement. The future is bright, the possibilities are endless: One day they may actually lose by single digits. Dare to dream, Irish fans. (Boilermakers by 21).

Jim Harbaugh Prediction Watch

USC's march to fulfill Jim Harbaugh's prophecy as the greatest college football team ever continues in Seattle, where the Trojans take on Washington. The Trojans' Cary Harris joined Josh Pinkard on the list of the walking wounded during last week's win over Wazzu, which raises the question: Sure, they may have 57 All-Americas at tailback, but which of them are going to play in the depleted secondary? (Trojans by 20).

The Colt Brennan Heisman Contendin' Stat Extendin' Showdown

Hawaii vs. Idaho. That sound you heard was David Klingler sighing with relief: his NCAA single-game passing records are once again safe after Colt Brennan sat out the Rainbow Warriors' 66-10 escape against Charleston Southern. And his backup proved Brennan is not just a product of the system by throwing for a paltry 363 yards and five touchdowns. (Hawaii by 26 if Brennan plays, 25 if he doesn't.)

Cops: Collegetown

This week's law enforcement roundup heads to some familiar old stomping grounds: Tallahassee, where Florida State hosts Alabama. FSU linebacker Geno Hayes and fullback Joe Surratt were arrested during a bar fight last Friday,and Hayes was tasered after allegedly striking a police officer. Unconfirmed reports state Hayes may have uttered the now-standard phrase among unruly handcuffed college students in the Sunshine State: "Don't tase me, bro!" In a related story, after his coverage scheme broke down in overtime, costing the Tide a win over Georgia, Nick Saban may be looking to tase his entire defense ... bro. (FSU by 3).

Odds and Ends

Hey, Darren McFadden, here's some advice for your floundering Heisman campaign: Don't you realize you're better off rolling up big numbers against weak teams (See: Sam Bradford, Tim Tebow) than putting up solid, hard-earned stats against decent ones? ... The winner of this week's Air Force-Navy matchup becomes the early favorite in the "Which-Service-Academy-is-most-likely-to-further-Notre-Dame's-humiliation-by-actually-beating-the-Irish?" race ... Why is it that, with dozens of teams posting giant wins against lesser opponents, the only coach who consistently gets hit with "running up the score" criticism is Bob Stoops? ... Speaking of Oklahoma, it takes on Colorado this weekend. Dan Hawkins will prove he's every bit the coach Gary Barnett was by also getting destroyed by the Sooners. At least he knows what division he's playing in ... Florida may have struggled against Ole Miss, but don't expect a repeat against an even weaker conference foe: Auburn. Tommy Tuberville may just respond to a chorus of unhappy Tiger fans by reminding them, "You can't criticize me, we awarded ourselves the national championship in 2004, remember?"

And finally, Weekend Primer will leave you with...

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall."
-- Frank Leahy, Notre Dame