Top teams fade, Grandpa plays in game, Miami beach party

By Jacob E. Osterhout

Welcome to this week's Monday Awards, where we're working on finding rapper T.I. a new bodyguard, Radiohead a new marketing ploy and Dane Cook a new day job.

Team of the Week

Oregon State LB Derrick Doggett (No. 45) jumps for joy after the Beavers upset No. 2 Cal, 31-28. Dino Vournas/Getty Images

I will not give this award to a team that knocked off the No. 1 squad in the country. I did that last week. Sorry, Kentucky. I'm not saying you don't deserve it; I'm just not giving it to you. Instead, I'm going with Oregon State, a team that was 1-2 in the Pac-10 before marching down to Berkley and beating Cal, 31-28. OK, so Cal kind of helped by beating themselves, but look at it this way, the Beavers have not lost in Berkley since 1997. I'll drink to that.

Player of the Week

Maybe throwing four interceptions should disqualify a player from winning this award, but when a player throws for 545 yards and accounts for 5 TDs, while leading his team back from the brink of defeat, then the four picks are simply an afterthought. Despite making a lot of mistakes, Hawaii quarterback Colt Brennan showed why he's the best player in the nation (with bleached hair) as he led the Warriors back from 14 points down in the final four minutes to beat San Jose State in overtime, 42-35. You tell me, what other quarterback went 44 for 75 this weekend?

The Petty Theft Award

I would like to present this award to Cameron Higgins, Marvin Walker and Alex Tupulua, the three Weber State football players who were suspended for Saturday's game at Northern Colorado after getting caught shoplifting from their school bookstore. OK, shoplifting is bad enough, I mean you don't get a lot of street cred for a crime like that. But the crime occurred at their own school's bookstore -- that's downright embarrassing. In their defense, I will say that those economics workbooks were really expensive and, now that I'm thinking about it, hard to hide in your pocket.

The Repeat Offender Award

Kelvin Sampson is going to talk on the phone and no one, I mean no one, is going to stop him. The Indiana basketball coach and his staff are in trouble again for exceeding the NCAA limits on calls to recruits in the past year. This is the same violation Sampson got in trouble for at Oklahoma, but in Norman he jumped ship before being punished. Not this time. The Hoosiers will lose a scholarship for next season and Coach Sampson will "voluntarily" pass on a $500,000 raise. Come on, coach, just get off the phone.

The Geriatrics Award

59-year-old linebacker Mike Flynt holds his grandson, Collin Flynt, 1, after playing his first college football game in over 35 years. AP

Most grandfathers don't play football. They stick to tennis and bocce ball and cards. It's better for their knees. But not Mike Flynt. At 59, he's returned to the gridiron for his old school, D-II Sul Ross State. Turns out, after getting kicked out of school before his senior season back in '71, Flynt still had a year of eligibility left. So this year, acting on a dare from one of his buddies, he went back to school and rejoined the team. He's the left end on the field goal unit and I hear the cheerleaders just love his mature look.

The Losing Is Not An Option Award

I had a high school coach who once yelled in my face, "Losing is a disease." If you buy into that theory, then D-II powerhouse Grand Valley State has found the vaccination. The Lakers won their 34th straight game Saturday, beating Indianapolis 41-17. These guys haven't lost since 2004. They've now tied the D-II record set back in 1957 by that memorable Hillsdale team. (You remember them, don't you?) The Lakers will try to break that record next week at Northwood, although they still have a ways to go to match the all-time longest NCAA win streak of 55 consecutive victories set by Mount Union in 2003.

The Bobby Knight Award

What's Bobby Knight going to do? The NCAA recently announced it's cracking down on bench etiquette in college basketball this season. Coaches who leave the coaching box will be T'd up, as will anyone who addresses an official disrespectfully, uses profanity or just gets downright abusive. And, of course, there will be no "objecting to an official's decision by rising from the bench or excessively using gestures that either demonstrate officiating signals or displeasure with officiating." Really? Why don't they just outlaw dancing? Or smiling?

The EZ Pass Award

Joe Paterno might or might not have had a road rage incident last week. It depends on who you talk to. For what it's worth, I'm going to accept Paterno's version of events because I believe a good football coach makes for a cautious and courteous driver. According to the Penn State coach, after a near accident on campus, he pulled over and got out of his vehicle. When he confronted the driver of the other vehicle, he told her to, "Be careful." A male passenger in the other car grew angry and said, "That's my wife you're talking to." JoePa being JoePa then busted out his classic, go-to comeback. "That's your problem," he said.

The Shameless Promotion Award

In case you needed any more proof that the University of Miami is a football school, the athletic department has announced a few drastic measures to encourage attendance at basketball games. Almost all season ticket prices will be cut in half. The student section will feature a hot tube, a sandbox and a lifeguard tower. And fans will now be able to get in-game massages, haircuts and shoe shines. If only they had a manicurist on call. I'd so be there.

The Too Bad He Can't Spend It on the Players Award

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft wants to bring glory back to the football field at his alma mater, Columbia University. Or maybe he's just got too much money. Kraft, who played football at Columbia and then became a trustee of the university, will donate $5 million toward a new football facility. In return for the largest donation ever given to their athletic program, Columbia has graciously offered to name the field after Kraft. Not the stadium, but the field. Sounds like a good trade off, I'll give you a couple million dollars, you name a patch of grass after me.