By Ty Hildenbrandt

SOMETHING'S IN THAT STILLWATER WATER

Les Miles was not pleased with reports out of ESPN that he was heading to Ann Arbor next season. Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images

I think I'm at the point where I start getting the heebie jeebies anytime an Oklahoma State coach (past or present) holds a press conference. Between Mike Gundy's tirade earlier this season and Les Miles' continued rants throughout the year, I'm starting to wonder if the water in Stillwater, Oklahoma is laced with some combination of equine steroids and Red Bull.

Miles' latest overaggressive comments were aimed at ESPN's "false" reports that he would take over for Lloyd Carr in Ann Arbor in 2008. However, he has yet to definitively say no to the job. In a world that still offers slimy characters like Nick Saban $4 million per season, this is important to note. Trustworthiness among your favorite coaches, quite simply, is no longer trustworthy. And with talk being cheaper than ever, would anyone truly be surprised to see Miles manning Michigan after LSU's title shot in January? I wouldn't.

MISSOURI TO UNLEASH WILD TIGER IN BCS OFFICES

Speaking of bogus reports, Campus Quick Slants has learned that the Missouri Athletic Department has acquired a live tiger from the St. Louis Zoo and will set it free inside BCS headquarters at some point within the next week. Messages left for Missouri coach Gary Pinkel were not immediately returned.

Even if this were true, would anyone be opposed to it after what happened to Mizzou this weekend? Despite beating Kansas and being the top team in the country headed into the final week of the season, the Tigers were kicked to the curb by the Bad Common Sense committee in favor of the Jayhawks and relegated to the Cotton Bowl.

What I don't understand is how any analyst can get in front of a camera and say that the BCS system is "working."

PRESENTING THE INAUGURAL CRISS ANGEL "DISAPPEARING ACT" AWARD

... to the California Golden Bears, who slowly but surely worked their way to No. 2 in the polls before losing to Arizona State on Oct. 13 and subsequently vanishing into thin air. It's been quite astonishing, actually -- Cal lost six of its final seven games, symbolically capping a rollercoaster season with an unceremonious loss to Stanford. Congratulations, gentlemen, you've ... umm ... earned it?

HEY, WHO LET TIM DONAGHY OUT THERE?

Raise your hand if you think the esteemed crew of Big East referees tried to rig the "Backyard Brawl" between Pittsburgh and West Virginia on Saturday night. Anyone?

(Raising hand.)

Now, it's fairly common for a few controversial calls to make a half of football more intriguing. But if you watched the game in its entirety, there is no conceivable way you went to bed without pondering whether the officiating crew was flipped by the Italian mafia -- they looked like those crooked refs that tried to screw over Herman Boone in Remember the Titans. After a slew of egregious mistakes in the second half -- including the worst holding call of the season, which negated a Pitt touchdown -- you couldn't help but wonder if Cousin Tony called in a few favors to the Big East.

GET OFF THE FENCE: 10 QUESTIONS THAT COULD IMPACT YOUR FALL

1. More appealing upcoming movie? I Am Legend / Cloverfield

2. More likely to win Heisman? Darren McFadden / Tim Tebow

3. Bigger non-BCS mismatch? Michigan-Florida / Boise St.-East Carolina

4. More concerning Penn State salary? JoePa's / JayPa's

5. More over-publicized? Akon / T-Pain

6. Better Monopoly property? Baltic Avenue / Illinois Avenue

7. Better non-BCS match-up? Texas-Arizona St. / Wisconsin-Tennessee

8. More disappointing toy? Nintendo "Power Glove" / "Domino Rally"

9. Better television innovation? Skycam / Computer-generated first down line

10. Next national champion? Ohio St. / LSU

A GOLD STANDARD FOR FUTILITY: "THE MILLION DOLLAR THROW"

I'll say it: there are few events in sports more disappointing than the elusive "Million Dollar Throw" at college football games. There is nothing less satisfying to a fan. In recorded history, has anybody ever converted one of these?

Saturday night's Big 12 Championship Game added yet another chapter to a storied past of throwing failures. It's the same deal every year -- two tomato cans trot out there and nail a few passes from five yards, then move back, over-aim, and miss by a country mile. This year's contest seemed to have a little more potential, but in the end it was more of the same.

Quite honestly, the consistency with which sponsors like Dr. Pepper are able to find the worst arms in America for their competitions is simply mind-blowing. Wouldn't the law of averages eventually land a high school quarterback in the mix? Apparently not. Every year it seems we're stuck with a cross between the Mayor of Cincinnati and Chelcie Ross from Major League. Unbelievable.

Ty Hildenbrandt writes Campus Quick Slants every Wednesday. E-mail Ty at tyhildenbrandt@gmail.com with your comments, questions, and random observations.