Taking a kid to a game is frustrating yet fantastic

	Jose Reyes is a big attraction for kids who go to Shea Stadium. Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

They say kids grow up too fast these days, and it's hardly helping that Ben Affleck's second job is brainwashing babies into becoming Red Sox fans.

So Sunday I took advantage of my 5-year-old's remaining innocence and enjoyed the simples pleasures (and headaches) of taking my son to see a ballgame between the hometown Mets and rivals Braves. It went like this:

12:56 p.m.: I congratulate myself for knowing enough to take Sam to the bathroom before the game starts. Standing in a stall, he calls out to me, "I can't pull my pants down!" Before I can respond, a small voice from the next stall over squeaks, "Pull harder!"

1:03: I figure out that writing about this experience will turn the cost of our tickets into a deductible business expense. I quickly jot down that bathroom story before I forget it.

1:29: "Daddy, can I have a snack?" It's only the bottom of the second. I was hoping to get through at least two innings before dipping into the bag of snacks. I tell him to watch the Mets bat first.

1:30: Carlos Delgado takes strike one. "Ball one," Sam announces. I tell him it was a strike, not a ball. "But he didn't swing," Sam protests. I launch into an explanation of the strike zone that distracts him for a whole minute.

1:31: "Can I have a snack?"

1:33: "Can I have a snack?"

1:36: The inning ends. As I'm taking out a snack for Sam, the scoreboard trivia question asks who was the youngest Mets player in history. Sam goes with choice (A), Ed Kranepool. The fan selected to play guesses (B), Dwight Gooden. The answer: Kranepool. "Yay, I was right!" Pause. "Can I have my snack now?"

I give him his snack. He doesn't say another word until he's done eating, eight minutes later. I start wishing I had brought more snacks.

1:44: Chipper Jones comes up. As per usual, the crowd starts derisively chanting "Lar-ry, Lar-ry." Sam asks why, so I explain Jones's odd distaste for his own name. Sam is amused. Jones strikes out. The crowd goes nuts. Sam throws his tiny fists in the air in triumph. I'm a very proud father.

1:50: The moment is short-lived. Sam is bored now. Prepared, I hand him a notebook and markers. Rule No. 2 of taking young kids to the game: bringing diversions like art supplies may seem to defeat the purpose, but it's a whole lot better than leaving in the third inning.