Now that Lefty's back, it's time to get inside his head

	Phil Mickelson had an up-and-down first round on Wednesday, carding a 2-under 70. Steve Grayson/WireImage

Say this about Phil Mickelson -- he gives good press conference. After four months in hibernation, "Phil the Thrill" finally turned up this week at the Bob Hope Classic, giving us the chance for another installment of "What Phil Was Really Thinking."

PGA Tour official: We welcome two-time Bob Hope Chrysler Classic champion Phil Mickelson to our press room.

Mickelson: Hey, guys, happy new year.

What Phil was really thinking: Gawd, I can't believe I have to spend the next nine months getting barbequed by these slobs.

Tour official: Happy new year to you. It's been a while since we've seen you, so maybe talk about your offseason and we'll go from there.

Mickelson: It was a great offseason. I sat on my couch all day and watched TV and didn't do a thing. Just kidding.

What Phil was really thinking: Not.

Q. You haven't played since the Ryder Cup. As you know, there was a lot of criticism aimed at you because of your performance in the Ryder Cup -- can you explain what happened?

MIckelson: Well, my performance at the Ryder Cup was every bit as disappointing as my finish at the U.S. Open. Those two events were what made 2006 a disappointing year. You know, I really believe that the former presidents of the USGA who have passed away were looking down and said no one should win the Open hitting two of 14 fairways, and that certainly came back to bite me and I have got to address that.

What Phil was really thinking: I jest, because otherwise I would cry.

Mickelson: I addressed it with Rick Smith and Dave Pelz, who devised some devices to help me with the driving. And then I used Callaway's technicians to help with the design of a driver that will eliminate that left shot because not only was it on 18, it was on 17 and it was all throughout the final round. And so we're working on designing a club that eliminates that, and I think we've got it right. So I'm excited about that. ...

What Phil was really thinking: Can you believe Tiger spends all that time working on his swing when you can just order up a magic club that cures all your flaws? What a fool that guy is!

Mickelson: And then I feel like the Ryder Cup performance was more of, as opposed to a game problem, more of a physical problem. I don't feel as though I stood up physically throughout the nine months of the season, and especially when we're playing 36 holes a day. And I needed to address that. So the last three or four months, I've done a lot with my trainer, Sean Cochran, to address that. I immediately lost 20, 25 pounds and put on about 10 to 15 more with muscle from lifting, trying to build up stamina doing 45 minutes to an hour-and-a-half of cardio five or six days a week. I've started a new martial arts, a different type of martial art from what I've been doing. We also continued with our core strength and so forth. But I'm hoping that this will improve stamina so that at the latter part of the year I have a better performance.

What Phil was really thinking: The really exciting thing is that I'm down to a B-cup!

Senior writer Alan Shipnuck has covered golf for Sports Illustrated since 1994 and frequently contributes to SI.com.