TWO AND A HALF **/

Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, FOX
The first remark of Buck's that I annotated was the following: "The Jaguars need a win." This was in the Dallas game. Their record was 0-0 at the time. Gosh, this is news. I heard Aikman mention, at various times, that third down was the key down to stop people on and almost every other series was called "Crucial." Finally I just fell in alongside them and realized that this is their thing. I do want to apologize to Troy for one thing, though. I should have raised last year's ranking, based on the way he broke down the Seahawks' coverage on Steve Smith in the NFC Championship. The problem was that I was at the game and didn't see my tape of it until I had already written the column. It was great work, absolutely top grade.

Buck seldom tells me anything I don't know, and his habit of totally ignoring guys who make good defensive plays is especially annoying. I kept waiting for Aikman to pick up the nuances of line play, but I'm beginning to think it's a lost cause and just accept the guy for what he is, a very good analyst of routes and coverages. Both of them really let me down, though, when they did Seattle-Chicago in the divisional round without stressing the fact that the Seahawks' secondary was totally crippled.

Dick Stockton and Daryl Johnston, FOX
What is it with these old Cowboys? Didn't they ever watch the guys up front? The Moose chooses to ignore that aspect of the game, and it would be different if he were really outstanding in some other aspect, but things are starting to slip. He totally missed the two-tight end, unbalanced line the Chargers opened with in the St. Louis game he worked with Harlan. It set the tone for a big running day. He was busy talking about another game and never spotted the challenge flag at one point. He's a bright guy. He should be progressing, not regressing.

Jim Nantz and Phil Simms, CBS
Up half a star from last year. At this rate, they'll be in the elite class in five years or so and Simms won't be mad at me any more. The upgrade comes because Nantz is doing a better job spotting correct blocks and defensive plays, and he's actually calling subs as they come in. But one thing really bugged me. They did the Nov. 12 Jets-Patriots game, and their wild-card playoff game. In each one the matter of the Belichick-Mangini feud came up.

Now if I know the reason for it ... or let's say I'm pretty sure I know ... I would assume that Simms knows it, too. It centers around the manner in which New York signed a former Patriots reserve linebacker, as well as the tampering charge filed by the Patriots in the case of Deion Branch. And it's not just between the two coaches, it's an organizational thing. The first time the matter was brought up Simms tossed it off to how competitive Belichick was. The next time it was a pupil-mentor thing. I won't take this any further, but in the background I could detect the odor of rotting fish. Then there was the matter of the rush scheme the Jets used when they upset New England in Foxboro. The situation cried out for analysis. "Mixup in protection," was all we got. Uh uh, not good enough, pal.

TWO **

Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf, CBS
Had to drop Dan a full star from his Enberg gig because he just doesn't seem to be working it any more. Of course he gets no help from his partner, who offers observations such as, "This Denver running game is amazing, considering they don't have a huge offensive line." Lots of movement with small, quick linemen has been their trademark for more than a decade, but why should we expect a network announcer to know something like that?

K.C.-Baltimore produced no natural curiosity about why a seldom used K.C. linebacker, Keyaron Fox, was in the game, and even more strange, why he was covering Derrick Mason, a wideout. Ah, let it slide. Who cares, anyway? Much easier to do a riff on how they have to stop Ray Lewis, an angle that even the loyalists were backing off from, as his game slowly declined.

Observations come in generalities...the "outstanding line play," the "good penetration," by the defense, etc. At one time, years ago, Dan had a good eye for line play, especially on offense, but I cringed as I heard him go off on Hutchinson, a guy who looked clumsy and overrated with the Vikings ... "If ever a man defined the position of offensive guard ... " bong, bong, bong, and in the background you can hear the cathedral bells chiming.