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Power play

Top-ranked teams beating up on rest of the NFL

Posted: Wednesday December 12, 2007 12:53PM; Updated: Wednesday December 12, 2007 12:54PM
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Do you like blowouts? Did you get enough of them last weekend? I don't think I've ever seen that many in one week. Three winning teams scored more than 40, another five scored 34 or better. Each of those teams won by 20 or more points (Webster defines "blowout," as a win by 20 or more, or a tire that goes "pow!"). That means half the games played in the NFL last week were non-competitive. What this does is make it easy for your humble power ranker, because when all the good teams beat all the bad ones, you don't have to change much.

So in a massive effort to overcome the dreaded lethargy and ennui, I bring you the flash and dash that only these carefully crafted Rankenstein Monsters can provide:

NFL Power Rankings
Rank LW Team
1 1 Well, we saw what they did to poor Anthony Smith, who unzipped his yap. Can you imagine what's in store for the Spygate Jets? The preceding was the blue-plate special tabloid and talk show angle this week. Dear airheads, let me tell you something: The players don't care about that spy stuff, or that the team or the coach got fined. It's only an amusing bit of trivia to them, a laugh or two at the expense of textbook disciplinarians who get caught peeking into the ladies' room. No one's going to go out and give that extra hit because Bob Kraft is a few hundred G's lighter. Guaranteed!
2 2 The stats were those that stick to losers -- 47 pass plays to 16 rushes. And yet they produced a victory. How come? Because when the Lions presented one of those Cover Two things, designed to take away the wideouts, and said, here, fair's fair, we'll give you the middle of the field. Dallas worked Jason Witten for 15 catches and running back Marion Barber for 10 more. So are we seeing the death knell for the Cover Two or Tampa Two or whatever you want to call it? God, I hope so. Let's go back to the old One Free the Raiders used to run in the AFL days -- man-to-man all over the field, test your courage, see who's better, etc.
3 3 You ever notice how the lead on one of those abbreviated wire-service stories is always the same boring thing? This was the one for Indy-Baltimore: "Peyton Manning threw four touchdown passes to surpass 300 for his career." So what? Who cares? Now this is the lead I would have written: "The Ravens' experiment of trying to play defense without cornerbacks didn't work, so Peyton Manning threw four touchdown passes against them." And I'd probably hold onto a wire service job for about two days. "More like two hours," says my Flaming wife.
4 4 Scoop McGinn, our Green Bay correspondent, reports that the Pack came out in a two-back I-formation and ran six straight plays from that alignment, with Ryan Grant carrying on five of them for 44 yards -- on his way to a personal record of 156 against the Raiders. The temperature was 18 degrees. Wake up the echoes, Clark Hinkle, Jimmy Taylor, John Brockington, Dorsey Levens. Packer football in Packer weather, in front of warmly attired Packer fans. Yeah!
5 5 They're on a mission. Get Fred Taylor his first Pro Bowl shot. I salute it, but here are four reasons why it might be tough -- Tomlinson, Addai, Parker, McGahee.
6 6 So Anthony guarantee victory. Let me tell you a story. Rams vs. Giants, 1970. Ram coach George Allen found some obscure quote by Giants' QB Fran Tarkenton about other defenses that were on a par with that of the Fearsome Foursome Rams. Allen had the thing reproduced and blown up, and he papered their locker room with it. L.A. won, 30-3. It became everyone's angle. Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Ram. I got hold of Ram DT Merlin Olsen in the locker room, alone, after the game. "Let's say there's absolutely no Tarkenton quote," I said. "No one's said a thing. What would the score of the game be?" "Thirty to three," he said.
7 8 An interesting aspect of the win over the Eagles was the fact that, because of injuries, two rookie safeties started. And the nickel back, Aaron Ross, also was a rookie. That's three of them in the secondary at the same time when the Giants went to a nickel. Unfortunately this information, certainly an interesting aspect of the game, was denied to the televiewers. Fox TV, in its wisdom, doesn't believe in presenting starting lineups. And Fox arrogantly claims to be giving you the best in TV entertainment.
8 9 Five weeks ago Mike Holmgren announced the Hawks were going to cut back on the run and concentrate on throwing the ball more. And this was with winter coming on. Vince Lombardi would be shaking his head. Since then, they've won five straight and clinched the division. That's the way things are these days. Traditional values, in football and in life itself, are being shattered.
9 10 Shawne Merriman got a good hit on Vince Young and knocked him out of action for a while. Then Titans' tight end Ben Hartsock took a shot at Merriman, who limped off the field on a damaged left knee. Revenge hit, said the Chargers afterward. Jeff Fisher ordered it. Now I'm not taking sides in this issue, but if I were the prosecuting attorney, representing the plaintiff Chargers, I'd put Fisher on the stand, and my first question would be, "Now who was your coach again, when you played for the Bears?" "Buddy Ryan," he would say. "The prosecution rests it's case," I'd say.
10 7 I got a call from an investor. "What in God's name ever made you think that Houston could beat Tampa Bay?" I explained it to him and I'll explain it once again, for the millionth time. The trap line formula. I had no opinion at all why either one should beat the other one. On Sunday evening, the week before the game, I set my logical price at Bucs favored by three. They had beaten New Orleans on the road, Houston had lost to Tennessee by eight. The first line posted by Vegas, the opening line Sunday night, was Texans favored by one. It varied from mine by four, so it was a slam dunk formula pick. Go their way and take Houston because Vegas obviously is begging for Tampa Bay money. Sure enough, the opening line, also known as the "outlaw line," stayed up very briefly, and was quickly bet up to Bucs minus 3 ½. Vegas caught a lot of fish when the Texans won.

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