Despite mistakes, Super Bowl's popularity unmatched

	If we don't notice the job Jim Nantz (left) and Phil Simms are doing on Sunday, then they're doing a good job. Michael P. Malarkey/WireImage.com

Someone wise once made the observation that in the entire history of humankind, nobody had ever washed a rental car. Likewise, do you think anyone has ever chosen to watch a game on television because of the announcers? Maybe now, maybe someone decides to watch -- or not to watch -- the Academy Awards because of who is hosting. But a ballgame -- because of the announcers. . . .?

Oh, I don't think I'll watch the Super Bowl. I'd rather tune in to the East Cupcake Tech-Northeastern Idaho A & M basketball game, because I so love to hear Joe Smith at the microphone.

Yet, guaranteed, reams of copy will be expended next week analyzing the call of the Super Bowl. This year's boothmen, Jim Nantz and Phil Simms happen to be a very good team, but the reality is that NFL play-by-play announcers are like NFL interior offensive linemen. They're at the top of their profession, but we only should pay attention to them when they make mistakes.

Guaranteed, we will also hear a lot about the Super Bowl halftime show -- which is one of the more egregious wastes of talent on the planet. This year, the star is Prince. Last year it was the Rolling Stones. If you're a fan of Prince or the Rolling Stones, you go to one of their concerts. Right? Who wants to see them for a few minutes in the middle of a football game? Would you want to go to a concert and watch, say, football players running a few pass patterns between acts? I don't think so. Everything in its place.

In act, really now, does anybody watch the Super Bowl halftime show? Honestly, I have never yet met a single person who actually saw Janet Jackson exposed, when her blouse got ripped off by whatshisname at the halftime show three years ago. Who was paying attention? More's the pity.

You know what they ought to have instead for halftime entertainment? They ought to play over the best commercials of the first half so everybody could get to see them again. Next to the game itself, everybody likes the Super Bowl commercials best. If we showed them again at halftime, instead of building a big stage for Prince to sing a few bars, we could vote on our favorite commercials. We love to vote on stuff nowadays, don't we?

Actually, I think what we like is to see people get eliminated. The funny thing about reality shows is that they're not real at all. Reality is dull. It's the competition that makes them so appealing -- especially since somebody always gets eliminated. That was the brilliant secret Survivor came up with.

Baseball and basketball and hockey have a problem with their playoffs, because those sports have series, not one-game knockouts. You have to watch several games before the specter of elimination rises up. I think this helps explain why baseball has never been more popular, never had greater attendance, but why the ratings for the playoffs and World Series are rather ordinary.

But another reason why I think the Super Bowl is so popular is because of Fantasy Football, where you create your own imaginary teams. People get so wrapped up in their fantasy teams during the regular season, the real teams don't mean so much. But the Super Bowl has no fantasy competition, and there's no tomorrow and somebody is going to get eliminated. The Super Bowl is just the great American reality show.