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Pitch Manning

Rating the best of Peyton's commercials -- so far

Posted: Tuesday January 23, 2007 4:08PM; Updated: Tuesday January 23, 2007 4:23PM
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The genuinely funny Manning -- grabbing little brother Eli on the set of a Reebok ad shoot -- probably has a sitcom in his future.
The genuinely funny Manning -- grabbing little brother Eli on the set of a Reebok ad shoot -- probably has a sitcom in his future.
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If Peyton Manning finally wins the Big One or goes down in the bitter flames of foul frustration, we're still going to see a whole lot more of him in commercials, and that's fine by me.

There's a reason why  Manning is already one of the most marketed athletes on the planet: he's the rare superstar pitchman who doesn't come across as a crash-course graduate of the Old Hickory School of Thespian Technique. He actually pulls off fairly elaborate speaking and acting parts with timing and a natural, amiable flair. And he's actually funny -- a refreshing relief in an age when most athletes do little more than scowl, glower, deliver one stilted phrase, or sinply remain a prop. Granted, Manning has had clever material to work with, but so has Tom Brady, who, by comparison, seems to have all the personality of a codfish.

Every time I see  Manning watching the coffee-server get blasted by steam or wearing a cheap wig and moustache, or trading shoves and kicks with brother Eli, I smile or crack up. Maybe I'm just easily amused. The odd thing is, Manning is so good that he can actually make me watch his commercials every time they come on, and vivivdly remember them, yet I totally forget what product he was selling.

Fearing the onset of early senility, I asked my teenaged son -- who also loves them -- if he could remember.

"Some credit card," he said. "I don't remember which one."

"What about the one where he wears the wig and moustache?"

"Nextel."

Actually, it's Sprint. (Heavy sigh of relief.)

That may not be what marketers want to hear, but they've got a fine actor on their hands nonetheless. Here are some of his best-known performances to date, complete with my critical appraisal.

Sprint: Disguise. Likely his best because of the extended speaking required. Charming in a goofy way.

Mastercard: Cut that meat! The proof of the man's talent is in the final bit: his fierce exhultation after receiving a handslap from his favorite accountant.

Mastercard: Sign my melon. Even better, just for the sheer silliness and Manning's Southern boy persona.

Mastercard: Steam blast  The constant slapstick makes it the best of the bunch. Manning is the perfect calm witness to all the mayhem. 

ESPN: With brother Eli. Peyton gets laughs with gestures, and if you have a sibling rivalry, or live with one, this is a gem.

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