| Any day now, any day... |
| Event |
Drag Level |
When |
The Quest for 756
 |
High
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Has a sports event ever been such a mixed vat of momentous milestone, malice and malaise? Giants fans may still be giddy with anticipation, but for Bud Selig and the rest of the world, it took Bonds four excruciating weeks to hit four taters and reach Aaron's door at 754. In the process, the media exhausted its supply of condemnation and waited sullenly for two taters to tie and break the record. At Bonds' current pace, mid-August seemed plausible, especially after all the "Barry's better off resting on the road and doing it at home" chatter. |
Beckham's Debut
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Getting There
 |
There's a fine line between excitement and torpor. Beckham signed in January with the L.A. Galaxy of MLS, and ESPN's trumpets have been blaring about the arrival of the next messiah of soccer in North America. Since Becks and his fetching spouse Posh arrived on this side of the pond, a bum ankle has limited him to a training session (July 16) and 16 minutes of an exhibition against Chelsea (July 21). He'll play for real eventually, but he'd better hurry before the air comes out of the party balloon. The NFL's shadow grows as preseason draws nigh. |
Hillary for Prez
 |
Off The Charts
 |
The will-she-or-won't-she began not long after hubby Bill was elected to the Oval Office in 1992, and after miles of denials and transparently obvious moves, we finally know the answer. But not the final outcome. That's still 16 months away. As Rod Stewart once sang, "Don't it feel like a long time? Don't it feel like a long, long time?" |
Pacman & Fiends
 |
Pretty High
 |
While Commissioner Roger Goodell waits for his new Get Tough policy to fully take effect -- if it ever does -- the rest of us have grown comfortably numb on police blotter acid. But at least T.O. can sleep sound on his football. He's been booted off the back pages. |
Cheating Scandals
 |
Off The Charts
|
Tour de France cyclist Michael Rasmussen is only the latest poster child for the eternal doping trade. In the past nine months alone, we've been bludgeoned into bad dreamland by the NBA ref gambling scandal, baseball's ongoing inquiries and the promise of Jose Canseco's next round of juicing revelations, allegations of steroid use on the PGA Tour, plus some old fashioned rulebreaking in the Daytona 500 (Michael Waltrip) and the World Series (Kenny "Pine Tar" Rogers). Naturally, there's no end in sight -- except the one the needle gets stuck in. |
Bimbo Sobriety
 |
Pretty High
 |
They're drunk and out of control. They're in rehab or the jug. They're back out .. and drunk and out of control. Not that the fate of mankind hangs on the ability of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton to become bedrock members of the Women's Christian Temperance Union, but they're always in our faces. If you actually care, you're gonna need the patience of Job before see that day. |
O.J.'s Search
 |
Extremely High
 |
Thirteen years on, the killer is still loose, but at least O.J. is still trying to set the record straight. Alas, his latest literary attempt (If I Did It) has gone badly awry: the rights were awarded to the family of victim Ron Goldman, who reportedly plan to use it to hoist O.J. by his own pen. The saga slouches on... |
Lions, Cards Win
 |
Very High
 |
Training camps are open and the "people are really optimistic about these teams" talk has begun -- a stultifying tradition since 1998 and 1999, the last time the Cardinals and Lions appeared in the playoffs, respectively. |
Pavano's Health
 |
Getting Critical
 |
Having appeared in all of 19 games and 111 innings since signing his plump four-year, $44 million deal with the Yankees in 2004, ol' Carl's on the shelf again with season-ending elbow surgery. Meanwhile, Cubs fans are holding their breath as brittle Kerry Wood makes another comeback. |
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