Players talking trash on the field and in the media is as common as a gas attack after too much stadium grub. The adults around them -- managers, coaches, GMs, owners -- are supposed to act like, well, adults and comport themselves with dignity even in the most heated circumstances. Occasionally, the fur flies in these more dignified quarters and you're presented with a guilty pleasure: a fusillade of funny pointed barbs and, every so often, witty rejoinders. Herewith, a few of the best:
| The Enemy Combatants |
| In this corner |
In that corner |
The Trash |
Brian Burke
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Kevin Lowe
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Oilers' GM Lowe ruffled the feathers of his Ducks counterpart in July with a 5-year, $21.5-million offer sheet to the modestly talented Dustin Penner. Burke gave Lowe a booty full of buckshot: "If I believe these salaries don't make sense and I match, then I'm just as dumb as the team that extended the offer. Edmonton has offered a mostly inflated salary, and I think it's an act of desperation for a general manager who is fighting to keep his job. We're going to take three draft picks back and given Kevin's recent performance, I expect them to be excellent picks." The Lowe-key response: "I have not (called him) and I don't plan on it. I'm not in the business of trying to make friends." |
Mike Milbury
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Ziggy Palffy
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The ex-Isles GM/coach was a reliable source of colorful venom. During a protracted contract dispute with his star winger in 1998, Milbury remarked it was too bad that Palffy's agent lived in a city because "he's depriving some small village of a pretty good idiot. We hope that Ziggy will come to his senses. We have no hope Paul Kraus will."
In defense of his acquiring notorious underachiever Alexei Yashin for Zdeno Chara, Bill Muckalt and the second pick in the 2001 draft (Jason Spezza), Milbury growled, "Mother Teresa would have a bad reputation in Ottawa with the way they've gone through coaches, players, managers." Senators GM Marshall Johnston was moved to say, "Mike must have forgot to take his valium this morning." |
Phil Jackson
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Jeff Van Gundy
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Their potshots began in the '90s when Jackson was with the Bulls and Van Gundy coached the Knicks. Jackson dismissed his rival as "Jeff Van Gumby" and decried his fondness for overly physical defense. Van Gundy sneeringly called Jackson "Big Chief Triangle." Their festivities continued in the first round of the 2004 Western Conference playoffs. After Jackson's Lakers survived a 72-71 Game 1 win, he felt Van Gundy's Rockets had gotten away with murder, calling the game a "mud-wrestling match. I don't think it's benefiting to the NBA to have that style" - that style being "Jeff Van Gundy brutality." Van Gundy shot back: "I don't have to look at the calendar to know it's spring going on summer with Phil complaining about the officiating. It's like a rite of passage."
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Larry Lucchino
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Boss George
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After losing the chase for coveted Cuban hurler Jose Contreras, who got four-years, $32 million from the Yankees in 2003, the Red Sox prez roared, "The evil empire extends its tentacles even into Latin America." Steinbrenner coolly responded by laying a big box of guilt on the Sox' owner: "We understand that John Henry must he embarrassed, frustrated and disappointed by his failure in this transaction. Unlike the Yankees, he chose not to go the extra distance for his fans in Boston. It is understandable, but wrong, that he would try to deflect the accountability for his mistakes on to others and to a system for which he voted in favor. It is time to get on with life and forget the sour grapes." |
Boss George
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Jerry Reinsdorf
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The '80s were The Boss's golden age. Witness his "Mr. May" moniker for slugger Dave Winfield and his assault on the quirky Metrodome ("If I wanted my players to be ping-pong players, I would send them to China. What takes place in the Metrodome is not a ballgame, it's a circus.") Among his sparring partners were White Sox co-owners Reinsdorf and Eddie Einhorn, whom The Boss called "a couple of pumpkins" and "the Katzenjammer Kids." Reinsdorf got his licks in with a classic at the '83 All-Star Game: "How do you know when George Steinbrenner is lying? When his lips are moving." |
Boss George
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Lee MacPhail
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The '83 season was George's watershed. He was soaked by a $50,000 fine for outbursts at umps and given a week's suspension by A.L. prez MacPhail, who said, "There is concern and dissatisfaction on the part of the league that the game on the field should constantly be encumbered with the machinations and publicity pronouncements of the owner." George's riposte: "We're free to express our opinion unless Lee MacPhail has authored a new Constitution and Bill of Rights for the U.S."
MacPhail got even by reversing the ump's call that disallowed George Brett's pine tar homer, causing The Boss to bluster: "If the Yankees should lose the Eastern Division on the ruling of Lee MacPhail, I would not want to be poor Lee living in New York City. He better start house-hunting in Missouri." That corker lightened The Boss's piggy bank by $300,000.
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Mark Cuban
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The Referees
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The Mavs' loose-cannon owner has racked up over $1.4 million in fines and three suspensions for pointed commentary. Among his best: a $500,000 declaration that NBA Director of Officials Ed Rush "might have been a great ref, but I wouldn't hire him to manage a Dairy Queen." Cuban was particularly verbose during the 2006 playoffs, incurring two plump fines including $250,000 for confronting ref Joe DeRosa (photo) on the court at Game 5 of the NBA Finals and reportedly screaming at Commissioner David Stern, "Your league is rigged!" -- a comment Cuban later denied. His cheeky reaction to the financial penalty: "I'm fine with it. Get the humor there. Fine with it." |
George Karl
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Isiah Thomas
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Karl lambasted Thomas with liberal ladels of profanity for instigating a December 2006 donnybrook in the waning moments of a blowout win by the Nuggets, saying the actions of the Knicks' coach "after the game were despicable. There's no question in my mind it was premeditated. He made a bad situation worse. He's a jerk for what he's trying to do." However, a more mature head prevailed:
"We believe that the heat of the moment allows certain overstepping of traditional bounds," said Commissioner Stern. "We understand that we've got some original characters among our coaching staff and we allow a one-time outburst. But over time we have to realize that a lot of people are watching us, many of them young." Amen.
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