Take It To The ATM

If the NFL's plan to add a 17th regular season game (at the expense of a preseason contest) includes a commensurate rise in player salaries, exactly no one on earth will oppose it ... Unless the Cardinals play in the game, the best party of Super Bowl XLII week will be at Russ Grimm's house. (On second thought, especially if the Cardinals play in the game) ... Given Amare Stoudamire's one-game suspension for leaving the bench after Robert Horry's flagrant foul toward the end of Phoenix's Game 4 victory over the Spurs, Suns coach Mike D'Antoni must now ask himself, "Is it worth doing offense/defense situational substitutions with a superstar in the first place?"

Lies, Lies, Lies

1) If Ted Thompson had pulled the trigger on that Randy Moss trade, the Packers would've been a legitimate Super Bowl contender.

2) Speaking of Moss, there are far greater indignities than being ripped by former Raiders offensive coordinator Tom Walsh.

3) Now that Darrell Jackson has been shipped to San Francisco, Seattle's Nate Burleson will finally show us all what a great receiver he is -- thus justifying that inanely overpriced contract the Seahawks gave him in free agency last year as alleged revenge for Minnesota's signing of All-Pro guard Steve Hutchinson.

Let's Do Some Don Julio Silver Shots For ...

Bill Walsh. Keep fighting, Coach.

Oxygen-Deprived Thought From Above

Ricky Williams, who has social anxiety disorder, should get a medical marijuana card in California (if he doesn't already have one) -- and the rest of us should chill out.

This Week's Proof That The University Of California Is The Center Of The Universe

The Bears received a bid to the NCAA softball tournament for the 22nd consecutive year -- the nation's second-longest current streak -- but their road to Oklahoma City is a difficult one. Cal, which last year had its string of seven consecutive Women's College World Series appearances broken, will have to fight its way out of a tough regional that includes 11th seeded (and fifth-ranked) Alabama, the host school; Tennessee Tech; and Florida State, the Bears' opening opponent on Friday. If Cal can find a way to beat the Seminoles its second game will be televised on ESPN2 (Saturday at 11 a.m. Central Time) -- a potential showcase for Alex Sutton, the Bears' fabulous senior outfielder.

Meanwhile, Jan Brogan's 10th-ranked women's tennis team travels to Athens, Ga. to face Clemson Friday in the round of 16 at the NCAA championships. The Bears are led by Susie Babos, the reigning NCAA individual singles champion, and fellow Hungarian Zsuzsanna Fodor.

Trippin' On E(Mail)

"I wonder, if Reggie Bush played in Berkeley, would you still be eager to keep bringing up this ancient story? This article is nothing but a vendetta against a Pac-10 opponent -- one who torches Jeff Tedford and the Bears consistently. The NCAA, despite what your sources say, will not move on Reggie. They bring a whole new definition to the word 'toothless.'"
-- George Atsaves from Chicago

Oh, I get it -- since 'SC wins a lot of football games, anyone who went to a college whose team wins fewer games is hereby excluded from commenting on the fact that the Trojans may have been cheating while doing so. I hate unfair advantages, period, and I'm sure most USC students and alums are smart enough to understand that inherent bias. If Tedford's Bears are cheating, by all means make them pay -- for real Cal fans don't want to win that way.

"Did you write that story bashing Reggie Bush because you didn't get accepted to USC? You're all over Roger Goodall now but wait until he screws the NFL over with his lofty ambitions, then we'll see if you still think so highly of him. Oh, and could you please find something better to write about next week or I'll be bringing a civil suit against you for wasting my unrefundable time."
-- Travis from San Diego

Didn't get accepted to USC? Hold on, I need to collect myself. And quiet down, people -- especially you guffawing Bruins.

"I'm a diehard college football fan, and a lifer Aints fan. It's thus with mixed emotions that I give you your props for an intriguing (and therefore dead in the water) method to bring the Reggie Bush college football schmear (no, no lox, thanks, I'm full) to some sort of closure. Just curious, and I ask not knowing the answer, is the Juice banned from USC campus?"
-- Aaron from Arlington, Va.

I don't know, either, but given that he showed up at an Orange Bowl practice a few years back, my guess is he's in the same club as Snoop Dogg and Will Ferrell.

"Michael, if you want to make sure the Bush mess doesn't happen again, have the NFL agree to ban anyone from representing NFL talent who tampers with or contacts a student athlete before they graduate or announce they are going pro. Until then, the incentive will be there to become an instant millionaire and there is nothing any university can do to stop it."
-- Geoff Koch from Sherman Oaks, CA

It's a good idea -- have the NFL do the job that its free farm system is too scared to do.

"It appalls me that the NCAA does not crack down on Bush and USC ... this is just another case of the NCAA shying away from the big fish who have influential alumni and huge television contracts. They would rather strut around exercising their power by making colleges PC their mascots or take away scholarships from small black colleges because they don't meet grade standards. Heisman Trophy winner Eric Crouch at Nebraska got dinged for accepting a free ham sandwich 'illegally,' yet Bush and USC are going to get off in one of the most blatant examples of cheating in college football history."
-- Lance Nord from Huntington Beach, Calif.

Hmmmm ... I wonder how many ham sandwiches it would've taken to lure Bush's former USC running mate LenDale White to Lincoln.