Posted: Monday February 5, 2007 10:19AM; Updated: Monday February 5, 2007 10:19AM
1. Peyton Manning and the Colts beat the Bears and the elements in winning Super Bowl XLI 29-17 on Sunday in Miami. Manning won MVP honors while forever shaking the tag that he can't win the big one. Of course, you can't please everyone. Now some are blaming Peyton that the Super Bowl commercials were pretty lame.
2. Maybe the NFL wasn't so wrong for prohibiting that church in Indiana from showing the Super Bowl on a wall projector. League officials must have known that Rex Grossman's performance would border on the obscene.
3. Grossman threw two ghastly interceptions, dropped two snaps and once tripped over his own feet. It's possible he made even more mistakes, but it was hard to tell through CBS's fogged-up cameras.
4. Even with Devin Hester returning the opening kickoff for a TD, the Bears just couldn't match the Colts' firepower. Not counting Tank Johnson's den, of course.
5. Still, CBS did subtly handle the game's subplot of a landmark achievement by an African American. We're referring, of course, to Eddie Murphy's Norbit.
6. We've got your back, Dr. Z: Billy Joel's rendition of the national anthem clocked in at 1:30.77 by our unofficial recording. (Dr. Z keeps the stopwatch of record.) So if you took the over on the national anthem -- and there really was a line set at 1:44 -- you lose. Timing-wise, the anthem also came about 15 years too late, judging by Joel's voice these days.
7. New statistical trend: Apparently, the very worst way to start a huge football game is to return the opening kickoff for a touchdown. That's how Ohio State started the BCS title game and the Bears began the Super Bowl. From that point on, the two teams were outscored a combined 70-17 the rest of the way. Perhaps the savvy coach would order a fair catch.
8. Best performance on a CBS microphone: Colts owner Jim Irsay. After he was handed the Lombardi Trophy by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, Irsay staged a virtual filibuster by speaking non-stop for 1:20.16 (see, it's hard to stop timing things once you start) before handing the trophy to coach Tony Dungy. We were rooting for Irsay to hold on for just 10 more seconds to outlast Billy Joel. The two highlights were: 1) Irsay never pausing long enough for Jim Nantz to get even one word in; 2) Irsay coining the verb "partnershipping."
9. Mother's Day "scandal" update: Last May, we discussed a California man who sued the Angels for violating the civil rights of men by offering a 2005 Mother's Day giveaway (a nylon tote bag) only to women. Last week, an Orange County judge threw out the lawsuit for being idiotic. OK, the judge actually used some legal terms, but we're pretty sure he meant "idiotic." For good measure (and we do mean good), the judge threatened to penalize the attorney who brought the case for "intentionally misleading the court" about previous instances in which he had filed similar lawsuits for the same client in the past five years. Maybe the justice system will now be able to focus on truly important sports matters, like the price of beer.
10. Dad! Guess what?: The 20 players selected for Michael Jordan's All-American basketball game included one Jeffrey Jordan of Loyola Academy in Wilmette, Ill. Shockingly, the two are related.