Posted: Monday February 12, 2007 10:55AM; Updated: Monday February 12, 2007 10:55AM
1. Quote of the day, from Mavericks owner Mark Cuban: "Your coach sat players for being fat. I guess you couldn't lead them away from the buffet." That's from Cuban's war of words with Heat star Dwyane Wade. The Mavs boss waded into a spat between Wade and Dallas' Dirk Nowitzki after Wade criticized the German's leadership abilities. Cuban is the Gilbert Arenas of NBA owners -- sometimes he's a little nuts, but he certainly keeps things interesting. Most recently, he offered the perspective that if a current NBA player publicly admitted that he was gay, that it "would be the best thing that ever happened to [him] from a marketing and endorsement perspective."
2. A small Serbian village hoping to change its image after years of floods and landslides will erect a huge statue of Sylvester Stallone's Rocky Balboa character. Well sure, what better symbol for a facelift?
3. USC is looking into whether Reggie Bush violated NCAA recruiting rules when he may or may not have gotten on a conference call with a star high school running back. Bush doesn't see what the big deal is; it's not like the kid got a free house or anything.
4. Hibachi fails to light: Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, who likes to yell "Hibachi!" as he fires a shot, came up just a bit short on Sunday of his started goal of 50 points against the Blazers. OK, 41 points short. Still, we can't help but like the big lug. For his next piece of performance art, Arenas says that he will update his blog -- the very place where he vowed to score 50 against Portland because Blazers coach Nate McMillan was an assistant on the U.S. national team that cut Arenas last summer -- from the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas. He wants to give fans the "insight of what it is to be a player and a sex symbol at All-Star Weekend" and promises to "come up with some antics." We don't doubt him given that Arenas is crazy, though in a good way. Consider, for instance, that Arenas has a vivid and detailed idea for a potential shoe commercial that ends with a boy in a wheelchair clothes-lining a little girl for one of his sneakers. (You can find the account on his Wikipedia page under the category of "Gilbertology.") Arenas will share this vision with most writers who sit down with him for a one-on-one interview completely unbidden, whereas most players wouldn't even volunteer that they think the sky is blue. Keep firing up the grill, Gilbert.
5. Two Gonzaga basketball players were suspended from the team over the weekend after police allegedly found marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms in their car. Hey, give them a break. How else are they supposed to fit in at a college in the Pacific Northwest?
6. Cards slugger Albert Pujols became a U.S. citizen after scoring a perfect 100 on his citizenship test last week. Though Pujols says that his post-test boast of "I'd like to see Ryan Howard do that" was taken out of context.
7. If you think this is a particularly lame 10 Spot, don't blame me. At least one objective observer called this past weekend the worst sports weekend of 2007. Hey, I need some raw material. Even Picasso didn't look like such a genius when he ran out of paint. Plus, he apparently thought that women had eyes in the middle of their foreheads, so what did he know.
8. The favored AFC won Saturday's Pro Bowl 31-28 over the NFC. That means if you took the NFC with the points, you have a serious gambling problem.
9. Golf courses have enough hazards without worrying about raccoons stealing your wallet. Yet that seems to be the case on the course at Florida's MacDill Air Force base, where the evidently quite devious animals case unattended golf carts for potato chips, candy bars, watches, handbags and wallets. Perhaps MacDill should invest in some plastic explosives shaped as the harmless squirrel and friendly rabbit like Carl Spackler did on Caddyshack. At any rate, our favorite part of the story is this quote from the worker who traps the raccoons for "redeployment" elsewhere on the base: "I actually think Walt Disney did the world a disservice by portraying raccoons as cute, cuddly creatures who wash their hands before they eat."
10. Frankly, I was having a tough time Monday morning filling this 10 Spot when my e-mail suddenly pinged with an indication that all my hard work has been worth it. Here it is:
"Dear Pete Mcentegart, I am delighted to announce your nomination by the Governing Board of Editors of the Madison Who's Who of Executives and Professionals to be an honored biographical candidate in the 2006-2007 edition. The Institute's International Board of research decided on your nomination due to research on individual accomplishments and contributions to society. Based on many years of excellent reference and research compilation, the institute remains an authoritative figure in the field of noting significant accomplishments."
It doesn't end there. In fact, the letter, which is signed by one Matthew Johnson, Managing Editor, is so flattering that I am willing to overlook that they didn't use a capital "E" in my surname. Finally, someone has recognized my "accomplishments and contributions to society." Do people think these jokes just write themselves? Best of all, Mr. Johnson assures me that there is "no cost to be included." And hey, if they happen to be selling a lovely hardcover edition of the list, why shouldn't I buy a copy? Or maybe a bunch, for family and friends! Anyway, I must take my leave now to bask in this honor.