Posted: Monday March 5, 2007 10:03AM; Updated: Monday March 5, 2007 10:03AM
1. Sacramento forward Ron Artest has shaved "Kings" into the back of his head. Good thing he doesn't play for the Timberwolves.
2. Scottie Pippen is talking to his former coach, Phil Jackson, about a possible comeback with the Lakers. Pippen is taking this seriously. He's already sitting out the final 1.8 seconds of every workout.
3. Former Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn finally worked out for NFL scouts on Sunday. Quinn's stock has apparently been falling in part because the scouts haven't seen him throw. Hey, don't these guys own TVs?
4. The Lakers have fined forward Vladimir Radmanovic $500,000 for separating his shoulder while snowboarding and then lying about it. That unofficially makes Radmanovic the biggest dope on the slopes since Bode Miller.
5. Peyton Manning will host Saturday Night Live on March 24. In a related story, Rex Grossman will watch the Jerry Springer Show.
6. For those of you who want to be able to place Manning's upcoming performance in historical context, the 10 Spot is here for you. Here's our 2005 list of the top 10 SNL hosting jobs by sports figures, which ran the day before Tom Brady did the hosting honors (and did them quite well). Quarterbacks Fran Tarkenton (No. 7) and Joe Montana (No. 10) made the cut. Peyton really wants to avoid ending up on the list of worst performances, which is headed by Nancy Kerrigan.
7. Gary Matthews Jr.'s lawyer says his client, who was allegedly sent human growth hormone by an Internet pharmacy, has broken no laws or MLB rules. The lawyer says he'll allow Matthews to speak for himself once the size of his jaw catches up to his massive new skull.
8. In a move that strikes many as overreaching, the NFL wants to trademark the phrase "the Big Game." Though it will still have to fight the NBA for rights to the term "player arrest."
9. FIFA has confessed to exaggerating World Cup viewership numbers. Well, that's a switch. The usual soccer approach is to make things looks worse than they really are.
10. Just for the record, I also refuse to play quarterback for the Bucs.