Quote of the Week I

	Veteran linebacker Joey Porter will have to make the transition from the Steelers' 3-4 defense to the Dolphins' 4-3 base. AP
	MAILBAG Peter King will answer your questions each week in Monday Morning Quarterback: Tuesday Edition. Your name: Your e-mail address: Your home town: Enter your question:

"I'm looking for a whole lot of people to get off the plane, and I see two guys get off this big 737. So to use that type of gas for an airplane to come out there, you have to be serious. They weren't going to waste that gas to come visit me for nothing, so I knew we were heading in the right direction when I got the visit."
-- New Miami linebacker Joey Porter, who signed a five-year, $32-million deal with the Dolphins after coach Cam Cameron and GM Randy Mueller flew in owner Wayne Huizenga's plane from Fort Lauderdale to a small airport near Porter's home in Bakersfield, Calif., to woo him.

Quote of the Week II

"I am retiring from the NFL. At 32-years-old, I'm running away from the game. Not in fear or fright, but health-wise.''
-- Tampa Bay (nee Denver) quarterback Jake Plummer, announcing his intentions in Denver on Friday night.

I don't mean to rain on Plummer's parade, but I have some news about him, and it's contained down in the Ten Things I Think I Think section, in No. 2. Not to torment you, but there's some stuff going on with Plummer that doesn't really fit in Quote of the Week.

Stat of the Week

Tackle Luke Petitgout, who signed with Tampa Bay last week, is a better football player than newly signed Dallas guard Leonard Davis. But you can't tell it by their contracts.

Leonard Davis' '07 compensation: $17 million.

Petitgout's '07, '08, '09 compensation, combined: $14 million, with a chance to make an extra $500,000 per year based on playing time.

Petitgout will be the Bucs' opening-day left tackle. Leonard Davis, presumably, will be Dallas' right guard.

This is the lunacy of the first week of free-agency, people. The Bucs are getting a left tackle (the most important spot on their offensive line if Jeff Garcia wins the starting quarterback job), a much more valuable position to fill than the right guard slot Davis might play.

Davis has never made the Pro Bowl. He's a classic underachiever. Maybe the Cowboys can resuscitate his career, but this looks to be a classic case of Jerry Jones having some cap room and needing desperately to spend it on some player, any player. It's not a smart football signing.

Factoid of the Week That May Interest Only Me

Leonard Davis is one of 22 children.

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week

I've just about had enough with these TSA screeners. First, they tell us to put our toiletries into the Ziploc-type plastic bags, with only liquids or gels of 3.4 ounces or less to be included. So I do that. It worked well enough for a couple of months. Though my contact-lens liquid was 4 ounces, every screener let it go because they knew contact-lens solution doesn't come in a smaller container. So last Thursday, as I was returning from Florida (and by the way, the west coast of Florida is the new New Jersey; the 54 miles from Sarasota to the Tampa airport turned into a 135-minutes stop-and-go odyssey in mid-afternoon), the TSA man took my zipped bag, examined it, and said to me: "It's too big. Slightly, but too big.'' He took the contact-lens solution out and asked me if I wanted to go back to the terminal and put it in checked baggage.

Of course, I want to add 45 minutes to my day! Give me the teensy $3, half-used bottle of solution and I'll go back on the train to the terminal, stand in line, check a four-ounce bottle of this dangerous liquid, then I'll get back in all these lines and come back to see you.

"No, thank you,'' I said.

He put everything except the toothbrush and deodorant back in a smaller bag, handed it to me, and told me to have a nice day.

I'll give you a nice day.

But my moment of triumph was pulling the six-ounce bottle of Bullfrog sunscreen out of my back pocket -- I was not checking a bag just to save this sunscreen -- and putting into my carry-on. Small, illegal victories over this anal system of "safety'' at the airports are the best victories.