MAILBAG Submit a question or an opinion to Stewart. Your name: Your e-mail address: Your home town: Enter your question:

I've never been able to figure out all of the hoopla about Louisville suddenly becoming one of the elite in college football. I'm a TCU graduate, and in the Horned Frogs' four years in Conference USA, they beat Louisville three times. Louisville gets to go into the weakest BCS conference only because of the shake-up caused by additions to the ACC. What made them go from mid-major (a ludicrous term when you consider all of the mid-majors that make up about half of the members of the so-called power conferences)? I would like to point out that TCU has beaten Oklahoma twice, Iowa State twice, USC, Arizona, Vanderbilt a couple of times, Texas Tech, Baylor and Northwestern (including the year they were co-Big Ten champions) over the past several years. When is the term mid-major going to be dropped from football vernacular, and what idiot ever came up with the term to begin with?
--Buddy Schow, Chicago

I would just like to state for the record that I had to remove a couple of "we's" from this question to render it publishable.

Such is the power of the BCS/non-BCS distinction. Basically, if you play in one of the six BCS conferences you're considered one of the "majors;" if you play in the Mountain West or Conference USA, no how good you are, you're not. TCU has been one of the most consistent programs in the country over the past decade -- going 79-30 since 1998 -- and deserves all the accolades you mention. One reason I think the Horned Frogs have never quite garnered that Louisville-type respect is that most of the mid-majors that have managed to engender national attention (Louisville, Boise State, Utah, etc.) are known for high-powered offenses and, in turn, recognizable star players. Gary Patterson's TCU teams are usually built around their defense, and they really haven't had a national star since LaDainian Tomlinson in 2000. Even he struggled for exposure because TCU was still in the WAC at that point (which itself wasn't what it is today).

However, while I understand you're frustration at seeing Louisville rise so rapidly through the ranks, it wasn't by accident. Besides conference affiliation, the No. 1 thing that sets the majors apart from the mid-majors is funding. Even before it joined the Big East, Louisville, under the direction of AD Tom Jurich, was raising money and building facilities like a BCS school. Louisville's athletic budget in 2005-06 was $45 million, which dwarfs that of a school like Boise State ($19 million). Before he left, Bobby Petrino was making $2.5-million, higher than that of all but about a dozen coaches nationally. Those are not the markings of a mid-major. That said, TCU's budget isn't far behind ($37 million), though it can only afford to pay Patterson about $1 million annually (which itself is very high for a "mid-major"). So truthfully, the only thing separating Louisville from TCU is the name of its conference.

What's the latest on the Mailbag Celebrity Crush? I'm wondering because I went to see Knocked Up last week (friggin' funny, by the way) and the chick in that (Katherine Heigl) is smoking hot. Thought she might make a good candidate.
--Patrick, Baton Rouge, La.

No disagreement here, but Katherine is way too Hollywood at this point to qualify for Crush status. I appreciate you guys continuing to flood the inbox with nominations -- there seem to be a whole lot of fans of Cobie Smulders, who plays a character on the show How I Met Your Mother, which I watched once about a year ago and had to turn off because of the Doogie Howser factor.

Actually, I'm about 99 percent sure about who I'm picking. She has been nominated by multiple readers. She's definitely under the radar and definitely gorgeous. Look for an announcement in the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, thanks to Trey W. in Raleigh for reminding me I really am getting old by pointing out (in light of last week's Julianne Hough comment) that once upon a time I did not view the ogling of teenage celebs quite so negatively (scroll to the bottom).

Purdue's Curtis Painter was one of the nation's hottest quarterbacks last year, throwing for 3,985 yards and 22 touchdowns. If he can cut down on the number of interceptions, do you think they can make a legitimate run at a Big Ten title?
--Kevin, Plano, Texas

Purdue is a team that puzzles me right now. I've always had nothing but love for Joe Tiller, but his teams just haven't been nearly as impressive the past few years as they were when he first got there. For one thing, they play no defense. And while it's great that Painter threw for all those yards, if you're going to have an offense with no semblance of balance (which the Boilermakers pulled off just fine with Drew Brees), you need a quarterback who doesn't make mistakes. Painter threw 19 picks last year, which helps explain why Purdue, despite winning eight games, did not beat a single opponent with a winning record (and scored a combined three points against Wisconsin and Penn State).

So no, I'm not overly optimistic about the Boilers' chances, especially with Michigan and Ohio State returning to the schedule following a two-year absence.

Please refrain from ever commenting on the best team to ever play college football, the 2001 Miami Hurricanes. Bob Stoops ducked the slightly less perfect 2000 edition of the 'Canes to make his rep, now he's going to receive his payback with interest. Go back to overrating USC each and every year, wishing for chicks who you have no shot at, and over-hyping the laughably slow Big-Ten-plus-one-senile old man conference's athleticism based on one of the worst calls in the history of college football. Ken Dorsey was one of the greatest QBs ever to take a snap in college football (34-2 as a starter, look who ended up with better numbers) and you "rating" him is like a pig giving its opinion on ballet. Also, don't even THINK about writing anything positive about the 'Canes this year, just kiss Frank Beamer's rear-end and try to convince everyone that THIS year is the year Bowden finally gets FSU back to respectability. We're (as an alumni, I'll use that term as much as I like, I hope it drives you insane, it might make your columns actually insightful for once) coming for the college football world with a nasty ax to grind, you might want to stay out of the way. CANES BABY!
--Christopher Whelpton, Hollywood, Calif. (via Miami, via Gainesville)

Reminder No. 237 why you should never write into the Mailbag while under the influence of illicit substances. Now, not only are Christopher Whelpton's friends going to make fun of him for his incoherent ramblings, but he's managed to tick off fans of -- let me see here -- Oklahoma, USC, the entire Big Ten, Virginia Tech and Florida State, most of whom, in this age of MySpace/Facebook/Friendster connectivity, probably know someone who knows someone who knows Christopher Whelpton of Hollywood.

Best of luck, fella.