MAILBAG Submit a question or an opinion to Stewart. Your name: Your e-mail address: Your home town: Enter your question:

What do you make of the Mark Dantonio-Mike Hart spat? The Spartans seem like sore losers to me. As Dantonio said, Michigan State doesn't need to disrespect anyone, and then he proceeds to mock Hart's stature.
--James, Flint, Mich.

In general, I have no problem with Dantonio's wanting to "rev up" the rivalry between the two schools. What Hart said is basically true -- Michigan does view Michigan State as its "little brother," just as Oklahoma does Oklahoma State, Oregon does Oregon State, etc. The only way to change that is to start beating the supposed big brother on a regular basis; the only way that's going to happen is if Michigan State becomes a better program; and Dantonio, if nothing else, can only help his salesmanship by continually expressing such confidence and swagger.

Two problems, however: 1) Obviously, he crossed the line with the crack about Hart's height. C'mon, now. What's a 51-year-old paid professional doing taking a personal shot at a 21-year-old college kid? Do we need to send Mike Gundy to East Lansing to deliver Dantonio a little one-on-one lecture? And 2) I wish Dantonio nothing but the best of luck, but realistically, he's fighting a losing battle. Michigan is Michigan. The Wolverines are always going to carry more cachet both in that state and nationally. The Spartans are certainly capable of rising up and beating them, even having a better season from time to time, but the two programs are never going to be long-term equals. Why? Because, if and when Dantonio achieves that goal, he, like Nick Saban before him, will presumably be off to save some other fallen power -- one with deeper pocketbooks.

Stewart: Aside from watching the games, reading your analysis and insights is one of the best parts of college football for me. The blog entries detailing your experience in Eugene this past weekend were excellent. Keep up the good work, and please do more of your "full weekend-in-a-college-football-town" pieces.
--Matt, Hillsdale, Mich.

Thanks, Matt. I had a blast in Eugene, but I also realized pretty quickly I lack the necessary energy to attempt re-living my college days on a regular basis. I will, however, be sure to include more game-weekend "scene" anecdotes in the blog whenever I cover games in the future.

Finally, it's good to know there are a whole bunch of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia fanatics in the Mailbag audience. I got no shortage of quality responses to my challenge last week to come up with college football equivalents to the five main characters. The one who nailed it was Christopher Buerkle of Columbus, Ohio.

Unfortunately, his was also the lengthiest. Here is a heavily abridged version:

As Charlie said to Mack in "The Gang Exploits A Miracle," ask, and ye shall receive, sucka.

Frank (Danny DeVito) is past his prime. His glory years are behind him and even his substantial wealth does not bring him happiness. Frank = Notre Dame.

Dee is young and attractive. She has a witty personality and can trade insults with Mack, Charlie and Dennis just like one of the guys; however, deep down inside, Dee is insecure. Her self esteem remains low because her mom constantly reminds her of her failures. Dee = The Ohio State University.

Dennis uses his good looks and charm to manipulate women, whether it is Charlie's waitress or a tree-loving hippie. Dennis is aware of his "awesomeness" and has no problem soaking it all in by looking in a mirror or "popping" off his shirt. But even Dennis is not immune to hitting rock bottom (see Mack's and Charlie's mom refusing to sleep with him). Dennis = USC.

Mack is always pretending he is something he is not, whether it is going to pro-life rallies and later telling his girlfriend she needs to get an abortion or acting "hard" and then chickening out about jumping the dad from 7th Heaven. Mack is a bit of a pretender. Mack = Michigan.

Charlie does the grunt work around the bar that no one else wants to do but is fiscally rewarded when Frank gives Charlie control of his fortune. Charlie = I-AA Youngstown State, which Ohio State smacked around, then delivered a nice $650,000 check.

Anyone who watches the show is undoubtedly laughing his or her butt off right now.

Everyone else is undoubtedly cursing me for wasting the past 45 seconds of their life.