Liverpool is karaoke-mad, while Arsenal stays young

	"The key, Stevie, is to aim for the fleshy part of the thigh just above the knee. And don't forget to follow through." AP
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It's "blood on the dance floor" this week in the English Premier League. Well not quite, but "bruising in the karaoke bar" doesn't have the same ring to it.

Karaoke and golf aren't two activities synonymous with each other, but at last week's Liverpool "training" camp in Portugal, Welsh striker Craig Bellamy attempted to unite the two activities.

An end-of-trip night out spiraled out of control, culminating in scenes that saw members of the squad close to arrest by the Portuguese riot police, and Bellamy allegedly attacking defender John Arne Riise with a nine-iron. The Welshman was apparently riled by the Norwegian's refusal to partake in a bout of karaoke.

The exact details of what actually happened are murky, with various eyewitnesses naming different players who had clearly had more than a couple of quiet pints and even reports of players attacking the police. Team Limey particularly liked the dubious tale of a handcuffed Jerzy Dudek telling the police that he loved them.

The Liverpool Echo later reported that an Anfield source had claimed the Bellamy story was leaked to take the heat off the other players involved, and for Bellamy to be the scapegoat. Speculation was rife that Bellamy's Liverpool career was now in tatters and that he would be sold in the summer.

Fast-forward a couple of days and Bellamy was practicing his golf swing again in much happier circumstances. The Welshman cheekily mimicked his antics of the previous Saturday while celebrating his equalizer on Wednesday at Barcelona's Camp Nou in Liverpool's Champions League matchup between the Spanish and European champions.

And there was still time for a final twist in this amazing tale: 31 minutes of play later, Bellamy fed Riise for the Norwegian's winning goal in the first leg of their last-16 match.

Manchester United also picked up a 1-0 away win. It beat French side Lille in Lens, as Lille's Stade Metropole doesn't meet the required Champions League standards. Unfortunately, Lens' Stade Félix Bollaert also left much to be desired.

First, the pitch was in too poor a condition for United to train on it. Then during the game, fans were crushed in a pack swolen by Utd fans -- many of whom either had wrong tickets or no tickets at all. When Utd fans at the front tried to escape over the high anti-hooligan perimeter fence, the French police fired tear gas.

During the match itself, the French fans rained objects onto the field (Man U's Gary Neville claims to have been hit) in protest of Ryan Giggs' goal. Lille players walked off the pitch in protest of the strike, scored off a free kick while Lille goalkeeper Tony Sylva was still lining up his wall. UEFA has interrupted its 12-month-long annual banquet season to investigate.

Elsewhere, Chelsea drew 1-1 at Porto while Arsenal lost 1-0 at PSV Eindhoven. Roma drew 0-0 against Lyon in a match outside the remit of this column. Well, yeah, but we couldn't help but comment on Roma getting no less than eight players booked. In the UEFA Cup, Blackburn lost on aggregate to Bayer Leverkusen, while Newcastle progressed past Belgium's Zulte Waregem.