By Ty Hildenbrandt

YOU DIDN'T THINK I FORGOT, DID YOU?

And the winner of the BCS Championship's worst ensemble is ... former LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell. AP

Congratulations to the LSU Tigers for their second championship in the BCS era of college football. Here are 10 random thoughts after watching Monday's game:

1. Had Monday night's BCS Title been shown on ESPN, it would've easily been the game of the century, complete with weeks of build-up, a catchy slogan, and a 120-hour countdown clock to keep you on edge. Instead, Monday's game was as forgettable beforehand as afterwards, and I needed to be re-reminded that it was even taking place. And yes, I've covered college football all season.

2. What was the Vegas money line on "Ted Ginn Jr. will wear a spool of Mardi Gras beads to the BCS Title Game" and why didn't I bet it heavily? Was there ever any doubt?

3. The standard issue "we played a bad game" excuse that Ohio State fans have sent me in defense of the Buckeye loss to Florida last season has now expired. Thank you.

4. Forget Tim Tebow. Beanie Wells is my Heisman frontrunner for 2008.

5. Five years ago, the only love Terminator character Sarah Connor received was on the Arnold Schwarzenegger prank calling board (try it out if you haven't already.) Now she's getting her own series, The Sarah Connor Chronicles?!? This can't miss! Will it be running back-to-back with the previously unaired episodes of Vanished?

6. For the love of God, please find a smaller helmet for that nerdy kicker in the Allstate commercials.

7. If you still believe the Big Ten is as competitive a conference as the SEC, you should seek psychiatric counsel.

8. Photographers must've realized early in Urban Meyer's life that the phrase "smile for the camera" would have no effect on him.

9. In order to keep a straight face during that painfully awkward interview with JaMarcus Russell and Troy Smith, Chris Myers must've had enough Paxil swimming in him to kill a horse. Seriously, that's the only possible explanation. It was the perfect storm of ridiculous interviews: a credible reporter, a seemingly angry Smith, JaMarcus and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and an uncomfortable exchange between all three.

10. This would've been the perfect year for a playoff.

AND SPEAKING OF NUTS ...

Let's give a big round of applause to Ohio State president E. Gordon Gee, who quietly gave his unbiased opinion last month about having a playoff system in college football by saying, "they'll have to wrench a playoff system out of my cold, dead hand." Who is this guy, Greg Focker on an airplane?

Thankfully, Mr. Gee was on hand in New Orleans to provide additional comments on the topic. "It's a messy system and my only contention is that that is fine," Gee said. "I enjoy a messy system because I believe it's in the spirit of what intercollegiate athletics is all about. ... It's not just about winning and losing."

Riiight, and the Russians loved Chernobyl because it raised nuclear energy awareness ...

Riddle me this, Mr. President: If it's not just about winning and losing, why are academic standards so lenient for athletes?

GET OFF THE FENCE: 10 QUESTIONS THAT COULD IMPACT YOUR 2008

1. Better video game? Guitar Hero III / Rock Band

2. More endearing basketball name? Kevin Love / Derrick Rose

3. More useful invention? Pajamas with feet / The Clapper

4. More likely to run the table? North Carolina / Memphis

5. Bigger sports pet peeve? Tangled field goal nets / Foul trouble

6. More anonymous unbeaten? Vanderbilt / Washington State

7. Better dance move? "The Fishing Pole" / "The Robot"

8. Bigger basketball sleeper? Syracuse / Arkansas

9. Bolder movie athlete? Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez (The Sandlot) / Fulton Reed (The Mighty Ducks)

10. Better postseason setup? College basketball / College football

CULTURE CORNER

I'd love to get behind the new American Gladiators -- I really would. But Sunday's premiere was as underwhelming as those Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini photos. Seriously, what have they done to the precious show from my childhood?!? It's possible that Hulk Hogan does a worse job playing Mike Adamle -- the original host -- than he did playing Shep Ramsey in Suburban Commando, and that's saying something. They also made the whole show feel like a contrived version of Battle Bots with dark music and, yes, technology. Plus, the modern gladiators have nothing on the legends of yesteryear. Nothing. New school "Justice" got nothin' on old school "Malibu."

AND THE ANSWER IS ...

The lowest NCAA Tournament winning percentage of any team that has won at least one tournament game belongs to Murray State (.071), which has posted a lackluster 1-13 mark during March Madness. Still looking for a stumper? What well-known coach did the Racers upset for their lone win? Hmmm ...

Ty Hildenbrandt writes Campus Quick Slants every Wednesday. E-mail him at tyhildenbrandt@gmail.com with your comments, questions and random observations.