Posted: Monday March 3, 2008 1:04PM; Updated: Monday March 3, 2008 3:53PM
By Mallory Rubin
June Jones Wants to See Accountability
Show up to team events and you, too, can have hair like Colt Brennan's. :: David Allio/Icon SMI
Dye the Hawaiian Islands into the side of your head and you can still be June Jones' quarterback. Skip out on team functions, however, and you can't. Jones wasted little time asserting his authority at SMU, suspending record-setting quarterback Justin Willis and safety Bryce Hudman.
That's 33 Straight
Fordham's women's basketball team lost 66-27 on Saturday, and, in doing so, dropped to 0-29 on the season, giving the team the worst record in NCAA women's basketball history. It's a dubious achievement, but it's an achievement nonetheless.
Now Announcing: (Your Name Here)
If you've ever considered dropping out of school to pursue a career as a legendary voice of local-stadium lore -- or if you just know a lot about football and are good at pronouncing strange names -- your time is now. For the first time since the late 1940s, the University of Washington is conducting an open search for a new P.A. announcer for Husky football.
No Blood For You
Discrimination is bad. Donating blood is good. Thus, there's a moral predicament at San Jose State University, where President Don Kassing is sticking it to "The Man" (in this case, the FDA) by banning blood drives at the school, saying the FDA's policy prohibiting donations from sexually active homosexual men violates the school's non-discrimination policy.
Day of Drinking Leads to More Arrests
Penn State students decided to celebrate their second annual State Patty's Day this weekend, and to celebrate along with them, the local police station decided to increase its staffing by 50 percent for the day. Here's a shocker: though student organizations stressed a day of responsible drinking, 45 kids still ended up wearing bracelets.
Smart Squash Players Wanted
Varsity athletes at Ivy League schools are allowed to have an Academic Index "one standard deviation" below the general student body, which is to say they can be stupider, but only a little. A Brown University squash player, for one, says he doesn't like the Ivy League's A.I. standard for student athletes because it "doesn't favor" his team's ability to recruit.
Nick Saban Needs Duct Tape
Columnist Paul Finebaum wants Nick Saban to keep his mouth shut and just coach. But if Saban insists on being a public relations nightmare, Finebaum at least wants him to ditch his trusty crimson turtleneck in favor of a classy navy suit.