Predicting all 32 games ... SIOC style

By Eric Horowitz

Beginning Thursday at noon, 32 games will tip-off in a span of 33 hours. Before you go handing in that losing tournament bracket (You will not win. You have no chance. You might as well not enter.) take a gander at SIOC's first round "analysis."

THURSDAY

UGA may have been on Cloud Nine after winning the SEC Tournament on Sunday, but can it beat Xavier in the first round of the tourney? AP

Xavier vs. Georgia, 12:15 p.m

You know how sometimes when you use a coupon for a free sandwich, the person at the register looks at you like a lazy freeloader who doesn't deserve a delicious sub, but then they still give it to you because it's the rule and they have to? I assume that's how the Georgia basketball team feels. I'd also like to point out that after all the Bulldogs have been through (tornado in the Georgia Dome, playing 85 minutes of basketball in a Saturday double-header, winning the SEC championship late on Sunday afternoon) they were rewarded with shortest break of any tournament team. Xavier is pleased.

Kansas vs. Portland State, 12:25 p.m.

The Big 12 was weak this year, but Kansas did have impressive nonconference wins against USC, Arizona, and ... uh ... Ohio. But don't worry because Danny Manning is now an assistant coach (when he's not busy coaching his son's seventh-grade team.) Manning might not be the most dominating player in college basketball anymore, but he's not a perennial tournament loser like everybody else associated with Kansas basketball.

Michigan State vs. Temple, 12:30 p.m.

After wining the A-10 title game in Atlantic City the Temple team decided to go out to a nice restaurant for dinner. They couldn't find one. That won't be a problem this week in Denver, but the Owls will have to contend with the Spartans tough rebounding and Drew Neitzel's experience (this must be his sixth or seventh NCAA tournament.)

Marquette vs. Kentucky, 2:30 p.m.

Three predictions:

1. Billy Gillispie will repeatedly crouch and yell.
2. Marquette will shoot copious amounts of three pointers.
3. Gardner-Webb will watch in suspense, wondering how the game affects its RPI.

Purdue vs. Baylor, 2:50 p.m

Baylor is the quintessential "happy to be here" team. It's their first tournament berth in 20 years. It's ecstatic. They get a whole extra week before next fall's 63-7 Oklahoma football pummeling is the only thing they have to look forward to.

UNLV vs. Kent State, 2:55 p.m.

Before the start of the season Kent State coach Jim Christian gave MAC player of the year Al Fisher a scholarship without ever seeing him play in person. It worked out well for Fisher, but what about the rest of us who always blamed our failure to land a Division-I scholarship on not having coaches see us play in person. Now we must look inside ourselves and come to the realization that we were never good. Some of us aren't ready for that.

Pitt vs. Oral Roberts, 3 p.m.

I'm officially declaring the Sam Young shot-fake as the next evolutionary step in basketball fakes. It's physically superior and more psychologically advanced than all of today's run-of-the-mill shot fakes. Young doesn't fake a shot. He fakes jumping. Evidently, that's a much better way to get the defender to leave his feet.

Stanford vs. Cornell, 5:00 p.m.

The always mysterious 5 o'clock game. It sits alone, the bridge between the afternoon and the evening, its sole purpose to ensure that the thought of even speaking to his family won't cross Greg Gumbel's mind until Sunday night. Cornell comes in having won 16-consecutive games, but I'm sure students from both schools already know that because of their highly developed brain enzymes.

USC vs. Kansas State, 7:10 p.m.

It's a battle for NBA draft position as K-State's Bill Walker takes on USC's Taj Gibson. Oh also, Michael Beasley and O.J. Mayo are playing. Look for Mayo to shoot 7-of-34 from the field while Beasley records the first ever 40-40 NCAA tournament game.

Duke vs. Belmont, 7:10 p.m.

Lack of impressive nonconference road victories? Check. Inflated seed despite lack of conference-tournament championship? Check. Offense that relies too heavily on three-pointers? Check. Stir all those ingredients in a bowl, bake at 450 degrees for 10 minutes, and you got yourself another early Duke tournament exit.

Washington State vs. Winthrop, 7:20 p.m.

Winthrop makes its eighth tournament appearance in 10 years while Washington State makes just its sixth appearance in school history. The key to the game is Cougar guard Derrick Low. He's from Hawaii, and everybody knows Hawaiians have special powers.

BYU vs. Texas A&M, 7:25 p.m.

Aggies coach Mark Turgeon once called his first post-Billy Gillespie season a "no-flippin'-win situation" because he would be blamed for losses and Gillespie would be given credit for wins. Apparently over the last month Turgeon really didn't want to give Gillespie any credit. And just in case you were wondering, BYU freshman forward Chris Collinsworth enjoys Harry Potter, but there's no word on whether he enjoys long walks with Bob Costas or threading a Cover Two defense.

Wisconsin vs. Cal State Fullerton, 9:40 p.m.

Last Sunday's Big Ten title game received an overnight rating of .18, meaning one person watched 18 percent of the game. Even though the Big Ten is unimpressive, the consensus is Wisconsin deserved better than a No. 3 seed. So now, the Badgers will either play with a chip on their shoulder and make a run to the Final Four, or they'll confirm the Big Ten is weak and feeble by getting crushed before the weekend ends.

West Virginia vs. Arizona, 9:40 p.m.

Which of these teams is not like the others? The answer is Arizona. The Wildcats are the only at-large team with a losing record in their conference and the only at large team with more than 13 losses. None of that is good for Chase Budinger's draft position, which is falling faster than Bear Stearns stock. (What? Too soon?)

Notre Dame vs. George Mason, 9:50 p.m.

George Mason is back after a two-year hiatus, and anything other than a Final Four appearance will be considered a major disappointment. The Fighting Irish are led by Big East player of the year Luke Harangody. Although he's a dominating basketball player, I can't help but think he would make an even better lumberjack

UCLA vs. Mississippi Valley State, 9:55 p.m.

Ben Howland believes the big-game experience on his roster makes this the best UCLA team he's coached. You know what else helps? Not having to play a Florida team with Al Horford, Joakim Noah, and Corey Brewer.

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