Don't bring any furry munchkins near one of Syracuse's boosters. Unless Greg Robinson, who owns a stellar 7-30 record in his fourth season, is fired, one overzealous fan is threatening to execute an innocent little kitten every day that Robinson remains on the sideline. He's jesting, of course, about the kittens, but joins a long line of people who wouldn't mind seeing Robinson fired.
Hoppy Hoffman must be hopping with happiness after devising a brilliant plan to lure more customers into his "Design Shoppe": shave one percent off the price for every point his beloved football team Arkansas State wins by. Considering ASU pummeled Texas Southern 83-10 last weekend, the deal is almost, ALMOST, as good as Bojangles' free chicken biscuit every time the Tar Heels' basketball team topped 100 points in a game last season. And anybody who's had a chicken biscuit from Bo-hangalez knows what I'm talking about.
It's tough being a Ball State fan. Especially when you're a Fort Wayne high-schooler. Unfortunately, one Ball-er had to find this out the hard way. After donning his lucky "Ball U" shirt, the poor guy was ordered to change his attire. Per the school's dress code: no more shirts with "double meanings."
Eight gold medals? Hosting SNL? Oprah's new bestie? Ha! Braylon Edwards thinks he can top all of Michael Phelps' greatness. In fact, he put money on the probability that he'll score twice as many touchdowns as Phelps won gold medals. Because a gold medal and a touchdown are pretty much equal in value.
So that story in The Oklahoman about Sooner QBs Sam Bradford and Landry Jones being arrested for trying to sell cocaine -- you know, the one written by Jake Trotter. The fake story. Work with me here. Anyhoo, the techie behind the hoax finally had to pay. The newspaper and the dude, James Conradt, reached a settlement. He coughed up some money, said "sorry" and now everyone is happy.
Hope For Failues
Hate freshmen English? Can't stomach biology? Loathe your professor(s)? Excellent. Because at the University of Calgary, if you manage to extend your college career to beyond four years, they'll pay your tuition. Being dumb never looked so good.
The Untalented Mr. Jenner
This is so awful, it's worth mentioning on SIOC, regardless if it's college-related or not. Just when you thought appearing on The Hills and playing the I'm rich-and-talentless card wasn't enough, Brody Jenner (son of once talented and now self-promoting, Kardashian-loving loser, Bruce) proves, yet again, why he's so useless. Only Brody can make modeling look so difficult. And painful. A little too much plumber-butt.
While Google Earth may be one of the coolest things ever, especially for the technologically slow (like myself) who find amusement in most anything with fancy pictures and buttons, the site bars you from seeing 51 things. At least, 51 things caught so far. Among them: Aaron and Christine Boring's home in Park, Pa. (Who are they? Who cares? You can't see their house.), the Playland Amusement Park and Manhattanville College dorms.
Pop Culture Nugget
Not sure if this good news or bad news, but this just in from People.com: Naomi Campbell is infertile. Guess that means we're safe from phone-heaving toddlers anytime soon.
Today In Hot Clicks
Erin Andrews is still No. 1 ... Greg Oden sings N'Sync Ric Flair ... Pro wrestling's finishing moves quis ... Video: Chee up Tom.
Odds and Ends
Will Ferrell ... genius ... on speed.
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