Dean's List (cont.)
With little more than a minute on the clock and Wisconsin nursing a four-point lead, Camp Randall Stadium was surprisingly quiet. It wasn't the Wisconsin fans' fault. The stadium had lost its band. With no horns blaring in his ears, Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor calmly took the snap, ran for an eleven-yard touchdown and the Buckeyes beat the Badgers. I think it's safe to say the absence of the Wisconsin marching band made the difference. The band was indefinitely suspended on Friday due to allegations of alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct. Is there anything tackier than band geeks getting drunk and sexually hazing each other?
Najeh Trenadious Monté Davenport. Go ahead, say it with me. It just rolls off the tongue. The former Miami running back was picked up by the Pittsburgh Steelers this week, which gives me the opportunity of recounting the story behind Davenport's nickname. When Green Bay drafted Davenport back in 2002, the Packer fans started calling him "Deuce" after he broke into a Barry University dorm room and defecated in Mary McCarthy's laundry basket. Charges of burglary and criminal mischief were eventually dropped in exchange for 100 hours of community service. So next time you're rounding first and you feel something burst, think about one hundred hours of picking up trash on the side of the highway.
Santa Clara center John Bryant, who led the West Coast Conference last season in both rebounds and blocked shots, was stabbed three times last weekend in what police are describing as a "possibly gang related," incident, which is like O.J.'s conviction being described as "kind of poetic justice." Bryant was stabbed by three men who, according to the police, made comments that could possibly link them to a gang. So what did these three gangsters say while they were flailing away with a Swiss Army knife at a 6-foot-11, 275 lbs, giant? O'Doyle Rules!
Nate Miles is an agile, six-foot-seven shooting guard who attended five high schools before he was declared academically eligible to play basketball for Connecticut this season. Then he got stupid. Two weeks ago, a woman who claimed Miles had tried to force her to have sex with him served the sweet-shooting 20-year-old was served with a restraining order. A mere twenty minutes after receiving the order, Miles violated it by calling the woman. On Thursday, UConn expelled him. You would think a 20-year-old freshman would have enough sense not to call a woman right after she served him with a restraining order, but hey, maybe they didn't teach Miles that in any of his high schools.
Send all fight songs, rock ballads and lullabies to Jacob.Osterhout@gmail.com.
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