In the Land of Lean Beef
You might find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe a situation could unfold in which Mack Brown would leave the Longhorns and actor and UT alum Matthew McConaughey would fill the Texas coaching vacancy, but blogger Sako feels pretty confident he's figured out a way. We suspect as long as McConaughey's Brazilian girlfriend and baby mama joins him on the sidelines every game, male Longhorns fans will approve the new hire.
Pride 'Aint Cheap
When Syracuse got rid of the Orangemen moniker a few years back, a slew of students bought shirts reading "Real Teams Aren't Fruit. Bring Back the Men." This probably cost them $10 a pop. Clearly, Illinois students have better-paying jobs, because they're shelling out $5,400 to ensure the always-controversial Chief Illiniwek can dance freely after the Illinois-Ohio State game.
Yesterday, we told you about Binghamton hoopster Malik Alvin, who found himself in bracelets after jacking 36 Trojan Mangum condoms from a local store and knocking over a 66-year-old woman while trying to flee. Today, Busted Coverage is back with further proof Alvin's more masterful PR machine than crook. While we at SIOC stopped condoning theft after our parents caught us swiping a pack of Yikes! pencils in first grade, we confess there's not much wrong with wanting the world to know you wear plus-sized condoms and have more $20s than a prop shop.
The First Step is Understanding
Aren't devils supposed to be red? Aren't people supposed to wear shoes while trekking through tar? Aren't fans supposed to shout "hooray" when excited instead of "hokie"? Fair questions, especially if you've spent your entire conscious-life trying to understand the meaning behind many ACC mascots. If you ask the folks at OTR, the answers to those questions are not when they're soldiers, not when they're soldiers and not when they're songwriters (we wanted to say soldiers there as much as you wanted us to).
We're Almost There
Now OSF's virtual playoff's down to Florida-Alabama and Oklahoma-Texas Tech. On the plus side, if this were real, we'd be guaranteed the Big 12-SEC showdown so many of us crave. On the down side, if these games were really being played in December or January, we'd have seen them both before -- a few weeks before, in fact. But we digress. Go vote to keep the ball rolling.
The March of Shame is King
We suspect that you, like us, have long wondered where the "naked dorm room prank" ranks in the robust recent history of hilarious, digitally captured collegiate moments. Now, thanks to Comedy.com's list of the top 10 funny college videos, we can put our minds to rest.
We Had an Off Night
If the Cameron Crazies and the pretentious player names weren't reason enough to hate Duke, Deadspin's hoping to convince you with some new anti-Blue Devil fodder.
Ready, Win, Smile
Uncoached could have chosen from a plethora of photos of drunk, rowdy, moustache-sporting Alabama fans for this week's visual depiction of the top 10, but instead, he used a picture of a sign-holding baby. We admire the restraint.
Pop Culture Nugget
Perhaps you'll resent the insinuation that politics is akin to pop culture, but regardless, we thought you'd want to know the last 12 presidents' Secret Service codenames.
Today In Hot Clicks
Best-looking "legit" sports-movie actresses ... NBA All-Comedy team ... Warner=Travolta ... Nets hook up the unemployed with tickets ... Video: Hitler needs tix ... Spoilers ... Aniston.
Odds and Ends
A Shooter and a Soother
Notre Dame guard Kyle McAlarney's one of the most prolific three-point shooters in Irish history, but he's also rather adept at playing the guitar (and at getting females to lovingly giggle through his entire performance).
Speaking of Notre Dame
It can't feel good watching Boston College DT B.J. Raji push your teammate 20 yards down the field as easily as if he were a pack of feathers.
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