Dean's List (cont.)
The Detention List
It can't be easy being Tim Tebow's back-up quarterback at Florida. You are the most overlooked man on campus. All you ever hear about is Tebow this and Heisman that. It can really wear on a young man. Well, if Cameron Newton was looking to grab some of the limelight, he finally achieved his goal. The sophomore quarterback, who has backed up Tebow for the better part of two seasons, was arrested on Friday for stealing another student's laptop. Police suspected Newton in the computer heist, which occurred back in mid-October, when someone logged into the school's network under the user name "cnewton." On Friday, as police entered his dorm room to investigate, Newton panicked and threw the $1,700 computer, which he had painted black and labeled with his name, out the window. But police didn't fall for the ol' pitch and run. Newton has been suspended from the football team and is being charged with felony counts of burglary, larceny and obstructing justice.
Say it ain't so, Joe! Penn State head coach Joe Paterno told a crowd of students at a pep rally on Friday night that he would be back next year. "When I've walked out of that stadium, when I can run out on that field, which I will do next year -- run out on that field!" said JoePa before his team went out and routed Michigan State 49-18 to clinch a bid to the Rose Bowl. It's hard to look past this season's success, but remember this -- the end of Paterno's career at Penn State is going to be a disaster for the Nittany Lion football program. How can you expect a man to walk away from what he loves doing and what he's been doing for 43 years? Paterno's contract expires after this season, but he doesn't care. He'll coach for free. He'll coach with one hip. He'll coach until he's six feet under, or the program is.
No one tells Jimmy Connors what to do. Not you, not me and definitely not the police. The former No. 1 player in the world was arrested outside the Thunderdome in Santa Barbara before the USCB-North Carolina game for refusing to comply with a police order to keep moving. Instead of watching the game, which the Tar Heels won 84-67, Connors spent a few hours at Santa Barbara County jail, where he was booked and released. Since Connors dropped out of UCLA after winning the 1971 singles title, this is one of the few chances we'll have to rehash our favorite Connors memory. At the 1991 U.S. Open, in a match against Aaron Krickstein, the original bad boy of American tennis got so mad at an umpire he yelled, "I'm out here playing my butt off at 39 years old ... and you're a bum." He later went on to call the umpire "an abortion." Good to see Connors hasn't lost his temper after all these years. (Check the video clip of Connors berating the umpire.)
All dorm rooms might look the same, but they're not. You have your room and other students have their rooms and you can't just go get drunk and wander into someone else's room. Former Miami of Ohio football player Zachary Marshall learned this the hard way. Back in May, Marshall came home from a night out drinking and accidentally entered student Melissa Samure's room. The former state wrestling champion lay down on top of Samure, which couldn't have been comfortable, and placed a pillow over her head before the young lady chased him out of her room. While Marshall didn't steal anything, this week he was convicted of burglary and sentenced to 60 days in jail, followed by 120 days of house arrest. That's tough justice for a guy who claims he was sleep deprived, drunk and confused about the layout of a dorm he only lived in for two days.
FDIC insured? Thoughts on Chinese Democracy? Send all comments to Jacob.Osterhout@gmail.com.
More SI On Campus