Where I went right, wrong with my preseason picks

A Classical philosopher, Epicurus, I believe, said something resembling the following: "Beware the wise man who appears as an imbecile. He is setting you up for a major knockoff." With those words of warning, I am repeating a tactic that seemed to animate people last year -- matching my final rankings with my preseason forecast, followed by an explanation of where I went right or wrong. Now all I have to do is find that preseason stuff. Ah, here's the drawer, and I believe this is the material, right on top. What does it say?

"Nordic Hookers Terrorize Paris!"

Nope, wrong folder. Ah, got it now. And before you get yourself tuned up for a good laugh or two, remember that I was not alone in some of the more outlandish picks. Many other good souls went down with the same ship. (Send comments to siwriters@simail.com)

NFL Power Rankings Rank LW Team 1 1 New England Patriots (16-0) Preseason 12-4, No. 2 seed in the postseason, losing to San Diego in the Divisionals. I didn't think the Randy Moss experiment would work. The Chargers almost beat them last year, and this time I thought revenge would kick in. But at least I gave them a shot. 2 2 Indianapolis Colts (13-3) Preseason 12-4 and a loss to San Diego in the AFC Championship. Wish I'd been that close on a few more. 3 3 Dallas Cowboys (13-3) Preseason 9-7, a sixth-seed wild-card entry, losing to the Bears right away. I thought T.O. would find some reason to pick a fight with the new coach, Wade Phillips, the team would break off into factions, limp into the playoffs and exit quickly. 4 4 Green Bay Packers (13-3) Preseason 6-10. One of my more spectacular mistakes, with the best still to come. With the Pack returning from an 8-8 season, with the QB finishing 25th-ranked, I thought this would the season of his farewell tour, with many handshakes, some heartthrobs, a few tears and a bright look at a future for which no one would be prepared. Here and there a few brave souls predicted that Green Bay would rise to runner-up position, behind the Bears, but I didn't see one forecaster anticipating the glories to come. 5 5 Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5) Preseason 8-8. Same record as '06. I'm kicking myself that I didn't follow the advice of so many Jacksonville letter-writers who swore that David Garrard, with a 10-8 record as a starter and five years as a back up, would knock Byron Leftwich out of the box and lead the team to one of its finest seasons. Why didn't I listen? I'm being sarcastic, got that? No one told me nuttin'. 6 6 San Diego Chargers (11-5) Preseason 11-5 and a loser in the Super Bowl. Didn't look too good for the old doc when they were putzing around at 1-3, but then Norv got the boys together and said, "Look, we can't do this to poor Z, who had so much faith in us." And now they're a hot team that could ... uh ... could give the Colts a good game in the Divisionals. 7 8 New York Giants (10-6) Preseason 6-10. A simple deduction. They rode into the playoffs in '06 on Tiki Barber's shirt-tails. Without him, too much pressure would fall on the QB. 8 7 Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) Preseason 8-8. I had 'em going 8-0 at home, 0-8 on the road. Not very imaginative, I know, but I saw Baltimore and Cincy as the class of the division with everybody else, ah ... who cares? 9 12 Washington Redskins (9-7) Preseason 6-10. I ran into Dan Snyder at the league meetings in March. "You gonna pick us to lose again?" he said. "Please pick us to lose. I love it when you pick us to lose." And as he turned to his guests for the inevitable applause, I vowed that I would not disappoint this fine gentleman. 10 9 Seattle Seahawks (10-6) Preseason 9-7, division champs , and upset in the wild card round by ... please don't ask. Oh, I've gotta tell? OK, it was Carolina.