NFL Power Rankings, Week 10

Well, I don't have to rush through this, because I've already voted. Got to the Senior Citizens Home in Denville, N.J. -- and that's not the beginning of a one-liner, it's one of the voting places out here -- anyway, got there at 6 a.m. Hardly anyone there at that hour. I mean the Senior Citizens Home was almost dead, but I got there so early because I am paranoid about standing in long lines. And then I'd have had to write my rankings column mad, you know, angry, and the complaints would have come pouring in.

Just me and about half a dozen voting center volunteers and one of them asked me what I thought and I said that my vote was pretty meaningless because even though Wilkie seems like a nice guy and everything, FDR is just about unbeatable. One guy laughed. The oldest one. Just like nobody's laughing now, but if you want laughs, wait 'til you see what's coming. (Send comments to Dr. Z here.)

NFL Power Rankings

1 Last Week: 1	Tennessee Titans (8-0) There seems to be a bit of controversy up here at the top. The Titans have the only perfect record, but they're not an attractive team. The Giants, on the other hand, are media darlings here in New York. Which is part of the reason I favor Tennessee. Also their kicker, Rob Bironas, who blew one against the Pack but then came back to win the game in OT. "A kicker has to forget it right away,"said Craig Hentrich, the punter. "Forget what?" I asked Bironas. "I don't know," he said. "I forgot."
2 Last Week: 2	New York Giants (7-1) Before you thump a hole in your chest and exult in the way you roughed up the poor Cowboys (and dropped them almost out of sight in the rankings...wait till you see), bear in mind that the QB decided to take the day off. A pick for a touchdown, two fumbles, flour sacks...I mean four sacks...the kind of thing that, in the old days, would have had him ripped to a fare thee well in the Monday presses. What an odd turn of events if it so happens that the Giants were looking past Dallas -- to Philadelphia.
3 Last Week: 3	Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2) I don't want to belabor the Dallas thing, but how come Pittsburgh can find a Byron Leftwich, who comes into a high-pressure Monday nighter, off the bench, and works the game like a dream, whereas the Cowboys...well, you know? Ron Jaworski pointed out during the telecast that the knock on Leftwich was that he telegraphs his passes, with that big windup of his, and that's what turned teams off. And it's true the Redskins were a half-whipped team when he entered the contest, but still...but still...the Steelers have laid in their supplies for the long Winter Offensive while the Cowboys got caught with a case of the shorts.
4 Last Week: 4	Carolina Panthers (6-2) They are neatly positoned right now. They're leading their division, they have Oakland and Detroit coming up, and then they're into the crunch -- six straight opponents, none with a losing record. The trap, of course, is doing exactly what I'm doing, looking ahead, and then getting knocked off by one of the Two Stooges, producing subsequent self doubt, to say nothing about fleas, in the locker room, loss of hair, patience, marbles. But Foxie's a good coach. He won't let that happen.
5 Last Week: 10	Philadelphia Eagles (5-3) The Redhead is not here to kibbitz my work. She is in Venice for her annual artist's holiday, so you will notice all the idiocy I can now get away with. But I am now about to bring up something as serious as Mike Singletary's scowl. When backup TE Brent Celek caught six for 131 they announced the yardage as an Iggle record for tight ends. I nearly choked. Pete Retzlaff, guys, Pete Retzlaff, an occasional Hall of Fame nominee. Granted that, as a converted wideout, he was undersized at 6-foot-1, 211 pounds, but he has half a dozen superior performances. Even Hall of Famer Petey Pihos, who donated his 210 pounds to the tight end cause toward the end of his career, can beat Celek's numbers. Get it together, Iggles! You're too professional an organization to slip up this badly.
6 Last Week: 7	Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-3) The comeback from 24-3 down, to Kansas City, was the greatest in their history, they say. Short history, huh? Still, Gruden almost blew it when he went for a two-pointer early in the fourth quarter -- too early -- and had to hole the pressurized deuce putt later on to stay in it.
7 Last Week: 5	Washington Redskins (6-3) The legend says that if they lose at home before Presidential Election Day, the incumbent party gets bounced. So four years ago they lost and I bet the ranch on the challenger, and the thing didn't work. Some legend. Time to get a new one.
8 Last Week: 22	Indianapolis Colts (4-4) Now it's getting dicey. I made huge concessions to raise this team, buried so far down on the chart that I don't even want to mention it, because its offense looked back on track Sunday night. The defense got worked over by Matt Cassell, though. And they can't even use the loss of Bob Sanders as an excuse anymore. He played. I didn't see thunder and lightning greeting his arrival. Just another frantic defender trying to keep up with a very efficient Patriots attack.
9 Last Week: 8	New England Patriots (5-3) The secondary is a mess, which is what I think tipped the balance in Indy's way. But offensively, Cassel's game looks a lot like Tom Brady's. The difference is in what happens downfield. Cassell looks as if he goes deep just so the defense won't cheat up too much. Brady's deep ones are more for dough than show.
10 Last Week: 12	Chicago Bears (5-3) On the final 55-yard drive that beat the Lions, 40 of the yards went to Forte. Got it? Forty to...never mind. My handicapping box in Sports Illustrated had them upsetting Tennessee Sunday. Well, it's against the law for me to come off it and go the other way here, but I'm just not going to make it one of my super duper, guaranteed 40 percent winners, selections.
11 Last Week: 11	New Orleans Saints (4-4) Charles Grant is like the guy in L'il Abner who walked around always under the dark cloud. Reserved injured with torn triceps, under pending investigation for a stabbing last May, plus part of the investigations about that diuretic stuff that's supposed to mask steroid use. I always thought he is one of the better D-linemen in the league. Make that was.
12 Last Week: 13	Green Bay Packers (4-4) What, raise them a spot after a loss? Why not? They took my gold medalist into OT, and outstatisticked them in the old yardage department. Including, unfortunately, turnovers (2-0), with the Pack getting the two. Three straight turnover-free games for Kerry Collins and his top of the line crew.
13 Last Week: 16	Arizona Cardinals (5-3) They're sprinting away from a division in which all the other guys are 2-6. And all three have been to the Super Bowl within the past 15 years, while poor Arizona is one of six NFL teams that never have stepped into that hallowed arena.
14 Last Week: 17	Atlanta Falcons (5-3) I like to watch John Abraham -- when he's on the field, that is. He gets an awful lot of rest. He gets his sacks in kind of a cat and mouse fashion, first lulling them to sleep, then pouncing. Quick now, name a Hall of Famer with a similar style. You're right if you said Fred Dean.
15 Last Week: 21	New York Jets (5-3) Tell me that Leon Washington doesn't have his head in the game. He bought a lot yards by grabbing the bouncing kickoff with one foot out of bounds, thereby getting his team the ball on the 40. It's risky stuff, with Ron Winter's crew working the game because they seem to be only dimly aware of what's going on. The official was going to spot the ball on the eight until Washington explained the rule to him. Two of the crew's calls were reversed. I just made a note to ask Eric Mangini if the identity of an officiating crew changes his game-planning in any way.
16 Last Week: 9	Buffalo Bills (5-3) OK, this is the beginning of the payoff for all those raises I handed out. Coming up is a series of precipitous drops that will have you shaking your head. The Bills got the big hammer because one little feature destroyed their game, the inability to control a rampant nose tackle, Kris Jenkins, who so dominated their center, Duke Preston, that the tackle to tackle area became a Mayday zone.
17 Last Week: 19	Baltimore Ravens (5-3) Picture this. It is during the 2007 college football season and an angel taps Rutgers' Ray Rice and Delaware's Joe Flacco and says, "A year from now you will be in a big NFL game and the two a yez will combine for 414 yards from scrimmage." Rice would have said, "Wow, that's great!" Flacco would have said, "How much of that rushing, how much passing?"
18 Last Week: 20	Miami Dolphins (4-4) The story I read said that 13 of the team's points came from turnovers. I've never been able to figure this out. At what point in the field does a turnover qualify as a turnover that sets up points? Say, for instance, you intercept a pass on your own five. And then drive the length of the field for a TD. Does the turnover get credit for setting up the points, or does too much length separate them? I'm not, kidding, I really don't know what the rules are that govern this thing.
19 Last Week: 14	San Diego Chargers (3-5) You are rubbing your eyes. A five-point drop, following a bye? And where the hell has last week's No. 6 (SIX!), Dallas, gone to? OK, let's not worry about the Cowboys yet. I gave San Diego a hard look. They should never have been as high as they were in the first place. Their division, the AFC West, is a collective 10-22, and five of those wins came against each other. San Diego must win its way back.
20 Last Week: 6	Dallas Cowboys (5-4) Well, here they are. The thing has fallen apart. When Romo returns, it might be OK again. OK but not great. Even Marion Barber had minimal yardage against the Giants, which reminds me of something Floyd Peters, coach of the famous sack unit, the 49ers' Gold Rush (Cedrick Hardman, Tommy Hart, Cleveland Elam, Jimmy Web), once said. "Go after the quarterback and pick up the run on the go." In their frenzy to get to the Cowboys QBs, the Giants' rushers were collecting Barber as well. No running game to bail out a wounded passing attack, defense that gets overrun after a while, that's why Dallas is down here.
21 Last Week: 25	Minnesota Vikings (4-4) Madieu Williams, free safety from Cincinnati, recently activated from the injured list. Unsung force in the secondary. Keep your eye on him, the one that's not on Peterson.
22 Last Week: 18	Denver Broncos (4-4) In the final quarter they pulled to within two points of the Dolphins. Plenty of time left. But not after Miami got through running eight minutes off the clock with a 15-play, 80-yard drive for seven points. I might be forgetting something, but the last good Broncos defense I remember was the Orange Crush in the '70's. Correct me, please, if I'm wrong.
23 Last Week: 24	Cleveland Browns (3-5) Romeo Crennel had just finished announcing that he planned no changes at the QB position when the club announced that Brady Quinn was now the man. Weeb Ewbank once said, "Do you know what the great thing is about having a John Unitas or a Joe Namath? For 10 years it keeps you from making an ass of yourself."
24 Last Week: 3-5	Jacksonville Jaguars (15) They can make history, playing back to back games against teams without a win, and providing a victory for each of them. They're halfway home. Detroit is next. And if this feat actually takes place, your faithful narrator will be on the phone to Ed Stamm of Stats, Inc., who graciously will say, "No trouble, glad to look it up for you," while actually he'll be thinking, "Where does he get these cockamamie ideas from?"
25 Last Week: 26	Houston Texans (3-5) They moved up a spot after Minnesota beat them, only because the press of bodies for the lower seats was too great.
26 Last Week: 23	St. Louis Rams (2-6) The idea of Kurt Warner's return to the scene of his greatest triumphs brought out swarms of wildly cheering fans -- for Warner. And, as the game drew on, booing their own Rams. Whom they so mightily cheered only two weeks ago when they hung one on the Cowboys. Thus this grand sport doth make schizophrenics of us all.
27 Last Week: 31	Cincinnati Bengals (1-8) An interesting sidelight on their first win of the season, over the Jaguars. Cedric Benson, whom they picked up off the street earlier in the season, had more yards rushing (104) than the Jags' Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew, combined, in the last two games (98).
28 Last Week: 27	Seattle Seahawks (2-6) They got slaughtered by the Eagles, but Leroy Hill, my sleeper all-pro outside linebacker, had 11 tackles. Wish I had taped this contest, so I could tell whether he was holding up the fort by himself or just collecting a lot of garbage time tackles. Maybe I can phone the Hawks and get a tape. I know what they'll say. "You mean you still use a VCR?" And then I'll just be in a bad mood and yell at the Redhead. Better tape my own stuff.
29 Last Week: 29	Kansas City Chiefs (1-7) Heading for home now. Only a few flickering lights ahead. Derelicts warming their hands over garbage can fires. Someone just handed me a note to use about this forsaken franchise. Among the accusations that Larry Johnson....naah, no more misery, thanks. Let's move on.
30 Last Week: 30	San Francisco 49ers (2-6) Mike Singletary is "pretty amazed" at the media attention he's been getting. Say, did you grow up in a neighborhood in which the rougher kids got a big kick out of "pantsing" other kids? And did they ever "pants" themselves? Thought not. Media attention? Just because you dropped your trousers to punctuate a motivational point? Writers will just print anything at all, won't they?
31 Last Week: 28	Oakland Raiders (2-6) I was going to present a list of all the dismally low statistics that came out of their Falcons game, but one of them stayed with me -- 77 yards of total offense, fewest since 58 in 1961 against the Chargers. Al Davis was 32, just a year older than Lane Kiffin was when he hired him. Al was the Chargers' end coach in those days. Sending his guys, Dave Kocourek and Don Norton and Paul Lowe out to catch Jack Kemp's deliveries. Whipped the Raiders 44-10 and 41-0 that year, got a group together after the game, headed over to George Pernicano's Casa di Baffi for one of those great dinners. Where's it all gone?
32 Last Week: 32	Detroit Lions (0-8) Something got into them in the second quarter of the Bears game. Put 23 points on the board, then went out after the intermission with a mandate to hold the 23-13 lead. But how do you hold a lead when you rush for just five yards after halftime? Beats me. Any suggestions?

Disagree with Z?

SUBMIT YOUR OWN POWER RANKINGS