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Ten Things I Think I Think

1. I think these are my quick-hit thoughts of Week 9:

a. Sean Payton, the New Orleans coach, told me the other day on Sirius NFL Radio he thought his three players -- Deuce McAllister, Will Smith, Charles Grant -- accused of using a substance on the NFL's banned list would have a good chance to win their appeal. I told him I thought he'd lose all three for four weeks because the NFL has been no-exceptions strict on this issue, believing that players, and no one else, are responsible for whatever they ingest. If the league allows any of the Saints to skate, what will they say to the players who came before them who lost their appeals?

The good news for the Saints may be that the players won't have their appeals heard 'til later in November -- something I heard this week -- meaning New Orleans could have them available for much of the rest of their regular season.

b. This Week's Statistical Sign That The Apocalypse is Upon Us: USA Today, on its Thursday NFL statistics page, is ranking quarterbacks, running backs and receivers not by passer rating, rushing yards or receptions, but rather by fantasy points.

c. Howard Stern, on Sirius Radio the other day, asked Lawrence Taylor whether he ever wanted to coach football. "I'd rather watch two chickens [have conjugal relations] than coach football,'' Taylor said. Uh, I take that as a no.

d. The smartest pro football player about college football players is St. Louis strong safety Corey Chavous, who is Kiperish in his study of the college game. After watching Florida's 49-10 wipeout of Georgia on Saturday, he said of the Bulldog quarterback who threw three interceptions: "I'm still convinced Matthew Stafford is a No. 1-overall-type pick -- Jeff George with a team-first attitude. He is going to be a good pro.''

e. I don't watch much college football, but that was one riveting game Saturday between Texas and Texas Tech. And as my favorite college scout Chavous said after watching 6-2, 205-pound Graham Harrell's typically ridiculous 35-of-52, 476-yard performance to shock top-ranked Texas: "He's a lot more polished than [former Tech spread QBs] B.J. Symons, Kliff Kingsbury, Sonny Cumbie or Cody Hodges. He's poised. I think he'll play on Sundays. He'll probably be a mid-round pick with a solid postseason.''

I don't know. He looked better than that to me, and if his size is legit and he throws the 15-yard out with zip, he's certainly got an NFL future.

f. I really admire the Chargers for making the change at defensive coordinator. Obviously Ted Cottrell was not bringing enough heat on the passer -- San Diego was dead last in passing yards allowed per game -- and he had to go. But Cottrell was a personal favorite of GM A.J. Smith, who brought him to the Chargers. Smith showed the only thing that mattered was the bottom line, which stunk, not personal feelings.

g. Good point by Alex Marvez on Foxsports.com, by the way, relating to the Chargers: He made a cogent argument that the loss of Shawne Merriman to San Diego was more hurtful than the loss of Tom Brady to New England. I'd couple the loss of Merriman with the hamstring injury suffered by his heir, Jyles Tucker, who missed three games and just came back, tentatively, from it against the Saints. Maybe the bye will get Tucker right. He and Shaun Phillips and Luis Castillo need to get turned loose on the passer by new coordinator Ron Rivera.

h. Steve Heiden's a better all-around football player right now than Kellen Winslow Jr.

2. I think if I were an NFL owner looking for a new coach in January, I'd want to interview Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. Every NFL team is using a version of the spread offense already, and this guy's got his doctorate in it. His football brain is obviously way ahead of its time, and he might be the next big thing in coaching. What would San Francisco, St. Louis, Cincinnati or Detroit -- or any number of other teams who might make a change -- have to lose?

3. I think I don't mean to harp on ESPN for burying the State Farm NFL Matchup show, but here's an example of what I'm talking about when I say it's the one pregame show that should be essential viewing for the real fan, and how ESPN is foolish for putting it on TV when no one's watching (it airs at 3 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. ET).

The best thing that any pregame show had Sunday was aired at 3:10 a.m. (and again at 7:40 a.m.) on the Matchup show, when Ron Jaworski critiqued Favre's arm strength intelligently, harshly -- and fairly. The show pulled out coaches' video of a play from the Oct. 12 Bengals-Jets game, showing a Cincinnati defender plowing into Favre with Favre's right arm fully extended in a passing motion, delivering the ball. The defender flew into Favre and drove him down, and when Favre got up, he was wincing and rubbing the front of his shoulder. Then, Jaworski showed a throw that he short-armed on a deep post to tight end Dustin Keller. "Favre is clearly laboring to throw the ball down the field,'' Jaworski said. Is that the kind of important analysis you want on TV when your core football audience is asleep?

4. I think you must be getting the hint by now, Edgerrin James. You're getting the bum's rush from Tim Hightower, the fifth-round pick from Richmond. The rest of the season is not going to be pretty for James.

5. I think this is the biggest mystery of the first half of the NFL season: Why can't the Jaguars run the ball? Certainly the porous guard play -- green backups Tutan Reyes and Uche Nwaneri started at guard Sunday in Cincinnati -- is killing the Jags, but there's no excuse for rushing for 68 yards against the Bengals.

6. I think this is what I liked about Week 9:

a. Nice job by Pam Oliver grilling Plaxico Burress on Fox.

b. Beautiful throw, Joe Flacco, the touchdown bomb to Mark Clayton.

c. The amazing thing -- absolutely amazing -- about the flea flicker by Kansas City is how beautiful a throw Mark Bradley, a career wide receiver, made. It was the play of the day. The Chiefs direct-snapped to Jamaal Charles, who handed it on a reverse to Bradley, who ran right and threw a pass 47 yards in the air, caught by Tyler Thigpen four yards deep in the end zone. Perfect, perfect spiral -- and it was thrown on the dead run, and Thigpen caught it right in stride.

d. Can't argue with the cutting of Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila (one-half sack in his last 12 regular-season games) by Green Bay.

e. Great simultaneous--possession touchdown reception by Braylon Edwards against the Ravens, and a good call by the officials. Edwards had two hands on the ball, and cornerback Frank Walker had one hand in the middle of it as they fell to the ground in the end zone. Edwards definitely had more of a rightful possession of the ball than Walker did.

f. Montel Owens. Remember that name, AFC voters. He's got to be your Pro Bowl special-teamer after another huge kicking-game play in Cincinnati. He returned a fumbled Bengal kickoff return 18 yards for a touchdown to keep the Jags, barely, in the game.

g. Jeff Garcia was masterful in the second half at Kansas City -- and called the tying touchdown pass to Antonio Bryant himself.

h. Nice hands, Will Allen.

i. Donovan McNabb just had the quietest 349-yard passing day of his career. That's what happens when you win in Seattle over an irrelevant Seahawks team.

7. I think this is what I didn't like about Week 9:

a. I don't care if the first-quarter Buffalo touchdown pass to neophyte tight end Derek Fine was the first catch of his career. I don't care if you've got other priorities on the play, Jets. But to leave a receiver standing in the end zone for three full seconds, waving his hands and uncovered, has to be one of the most bizarre, neglectful plays I've seen this year.

b. Fourth-and-one, Green Bay at the Tennessee 45, first quarter, Pack goes for it, Aaron Rodgers tries to sneak one over the shoulder of safety Chris Hope to tight end Jermichael Finley.

c. Oakland: five total yards on offense in the first quarter against the mighty Falcons. At home. That's an offense in a true black hole.

d. What in the world was Brad Johnson STILL doing in the game at the Meadowlands, down 21-7 late in the first half? Ridiculous patience by Wade Phillips and his staff.

e. I guess we anointed Jay Cutler too soon.

f. While we're on the subject of the comatose Bronco offense, how about running for 14 yards against the Dolphins?

g. High ankle sprain for Kyle Orton. Bears have Titans at home, then at Green Bay. Dangerous times to throw Rex Grossman back in there, but don't count Orton out yet. Offensive coordinator Ron Turner told me after the game Orton said he felt "pretty good,'' and Orton told a friend last night he felt better than he thought he would. We'll find out more this afternoon when the Bears do an MRI on the ankle, but initial X-rays were negative. If it's a legit high ankle sprain, I'd expect Orton to miss two games. But since he's not known for his mobility anyway, maybe he'd come back for the Green Bay game as a statue in the pocket.

h. Rookie quarterbacks Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan just beat JaMarcus Russell 53-10 in an eight-day period. Not to pile on Russell or anything.

8. I think I can't believe that, week after week, Al Davis can sit upstairs and watch the carnage that passes for his football team. How can he take it without saying, "Let's get some help in here. Obviously I can't do this myself anymore.''

9. I think it amazes me that the best size-speed back in football, Brandon Jacobs, is getting only 16 rushes a game for the best team in football, the Giants. Imagine what he'd do with 25 carries. But then I see what Derrick Ward is doing with Jacobs collectively, and I understand. Through eight games, they've combined for 203 carries for 1,117 yards for 5.5 yards a pop. That's a winning formula.

10. I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. I was in the upper deck, down the left-field line, for Game 5 of the World Series at Citizen Bank Park, and I'd say the same thing to Bud Selig about making us sit in a driving rainstorm with strong gusting winds for an hour before calling the game as I'd say to every airline CEO about making us sit in center seats in coach for five-hour flights: You have totally lost touch with the common customer, because you'd never do yourself what you forced us to do. One other thing: As I watched the game, I found it incredulous that Major League Baseball would allow the championship game of an incredibly interesting season to be contested -- at least two innings of it, anyway -- in a Nor'easter.

b. Joe Maddon, a very good manager, is going to have to live with quite a few decisions from this World Series over the cold winter. The biggest, I would think, is keeping the most formidable man in his bullpen in this postseason, David Price, warming up while he threw Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell and Chad Bradford for two innings, even using one of his precious last nine outs for Howell to hit.

The trio gave up four hits and two earned runs, and the game was lost. Maddon's defense might be that the pitcher was due up fourth in the next inning of suspended Game 5. My comeback: That's why they invented the double-switch in the National League park in the World Series.

c. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy than Brad Lidge, getting his 48th save in 48 opportunities this year to clinch Philly's first baseball title since 1980. I interviewed him twice for Sports Illustrated in the last three years in spring training, on my quasi-regular trips down to March baseball, and he never shied away from the nightmarish mark Albert Pujols put on his career in the playoffs three years ago.

d. New York Post quiz: Guess the headline for the following story in last Wednesday's Post (answer below): "Hundreds of thousands of people would be unable to find a toilet if a major earthquake were to hit Tokyo on a weekday, Japan's disaster-prevention panel said yesterday.''

e. Tremendous job Saturday by John Branch in the New York Times capturing the civic spirit and importance of football to the community in Parkersburg, Iowa, following the severe May tornado that leveled much of the town. Amazingly, the football team has rebounded to a 10-0 record with a state playoff game today on its home field. Good luck, Falcons.

f. Coffeenerdness: Read somewhere the other day Starbucks is trying to figure out why they're struggling in a lot of stores, and why Dunkin Donuts and other coffee places are making inroads on the big boys. I don't think it's the cost of a $3.70 latte. I really don't. I think it's trying to do too much in the sandwich/music/oatmeal area. Though I must admit I like the oatmeal.

g. Maybe I've got too much time on my hands, but I love Hockey Night in Canada on CBC.

h. Don't be hurt, Martin Brodeur. It's not allowed.

i. Watching hockey or baseball NOT in high-def is like watching it through a foggy window.

j. The 2009 baseball season could end a year from Wednesday. Imagine a Cubs-Red Sox World Series ending with Game 7 in one of the venues on Nov. 5. That's right. The seventh game of the World Series would be precisely three weeks from Thanksgiving Day.

k. Three Halloween notes: Patriots PR man Stacey James' 7-year-old son, Jonathan, dressed as Bill Belichick -- and the best part of it was Jonathon stuffing the red replay flag in his sock ... We had a Sarah Palin and a Carson Palmer and a bottle of mustard among the 240 door-knocking guests at the King house in New Jersey -- but no McCain, Obama, Favre or Eli Manning ... Kids are coming later and later. We had our last at 9:42 p.m. That's 18 minutes shy of my bedtime, kids -- and it's an unwanted interruption of Family Guy on the DVR.

l. Answer to New York Post quiz: "Urine Trouble.''

m. Vote, vote, vote. Please vote. If you love this country, vote. If you have some problems with this country, vote. If you want to read an interesting and compelling reason why you should vote, log on and read the lead to my Tuesday column. You'll love what Scott Fujita of the Saints says about voting.

Who I Like Tonight, and I Mean Tony Kornheiser

Washington 23, Pittsburgh 16. Jason Campbell's last interception was 11 months ago. He threw a pick Dec. 2 against Buffalo in the infamous double-timeout-by-Joe-Gibbs game, then was interception-free against Chicago, then missed the final four games of the season with an injury. And in the first eight games of 2008, he hasn't thrown an interception, and he's lost one fumble. Eight games, one turnover ... while completing 66.1 percent of his throws and leading Washington to a 6-2 record in a new offense. I said before the season this would be Campbell's breakthrough year, and without question it is.

It doesn't hurt that Clinton Portis has had the best five weeks a running back will have this season -- and I don't care how hot any back gets. He's rushed for 121, 145, 129, 175 and 126 yards in the 'Skins' 4-1 run since their upset of Dallas (would we really call that an upset now?), averaging a Jim Brownesque 5.7 yards a clip. This matchup is going to be interesting because the Steelers are allowing only 71.6 rushing yards per game, 2.8 per carry. Solid wall, meet jackhammer. The nation might be watching for the halftime interviews of Berman with Obama and McCain. I'll be watching for Portis with Hampton and Polamalu.