Your guide to the weekend, SIOC style
Notre Dame Subway Standoff: There's one issue that continues to grip the Notre Dame campus. Why doesn't the local Subway sell $5 footlongs? The store's critics argue its prices are unfair to students. The store's supporters argue its prices reflect efficient free market capitalism. I'm siding with the critics. Think of how much less the school could pay the football coaching staff if food expenses weren't so high.
Krispy Kreme Challenge, Eastern Carolina, 7 a.m.: In five short years this fabulous tradition has spread from its birth at N.C. State all the way to East Carolina. Those who undertake the challenge must run two miles to a Krispy Kreme Donuts shop, eat a dozen donuts, and then run the two miles back, all in under an hour. It sounds difficult, but it's basically what Shaq goes through during every NBA game.
Men's Basketball -- Georgetown at No. 12 Villanova, 12 p.m.: Prepare to be bombarded with highlights from the 1985 NCAA tournament during every time out. This would be a good day for John Thompson to sleep in.
Men's Basketball -- Notre Dame at No 2. UConn, 2 p.m.: If UConn loses, Jim Calhoun will have to justify his $1.6 million salary by reforming the state's healthcare system.
Lecture of the Week -- Jennie Finch at St. John's University, 4 p.m.: Much to the chagrin of males around the world, the former softball star, Olympian, and SI swimsuit model will not be mud wrestling with Anna Kournikova. Instead, she'll be speaking about breast cancer and other important women's issues. My apologies to those who arrived here after googling "Jennie Finch Anna Kournikova Mud Wrestling."
Men's Basketball -- No. 18 LSU at Kentucky, 4 p.m.: LSU has won 12 straight SEC games. Yes, the conference is that bad.
"Winter Carnival 2009," Syracuse University: Every school has its own token "Fun Stuff" weekend," but Syracuse's Winter Carnival is one of the finest. The five-day extravaganza includes a chili cook-off, human bowling, and a human sled-dog competition (it's like the Iditarod, but with no dogs.) The festivities culminate with the most lucrative event of the year for local orange paint salesmen, Syracuse's "Biggest Fan" competition.
Men's Baseball -- Seton Hall at No. 1 North Carolina, 1 p.m. Tar Heels hurler Alex White and 1st baseman Dustin Ackley are both expected to be top five picks in next June's MLB draft. They reportedly have a spot open in their posse, so there's still hope for Tyler Hansbrough to live the glamorous life of a top draft pick.
Men's Basketball -- No. 8 Missouri at No. 15 Kansas, 2 p.m.: Before the game both teams will get together and write a lovely note thanking Dexter Pittman's arm for KO'ing Blake Griffin.
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