Your guide to the weekend, SIOC style.
World Series Trophy Tour, Villanova University
It's your last chance to see the symbol of Phillies dominance before the team's win total officially reverts to zero. The Phillies Ballgirls will also be there ... doing whatever it is they do.
Northeast Atlantic Sports Psychology Conference, Temple University, 2 p.m.
What makes Terrell Owens tick? How can NBA general managers continue to trade for Zach Randolph? Is it wrong to shave points if it's for a good cause? None of these questions will be answered at the conference, but you'll still get your share of insights into the athlete psyche.
Men's Sweet Sixteen: Arizona vs. Louisville, 7:07 p.m.
It's a travesty the only double digit seed remaining is from the Pac-10. Next time it looks like the crop of mid-majors aren't good enough to make it past the tournament's first weekend, the NCAA should give them byes into the Sweet Sixteen. That way we won't be stuck with all these dull games between legitimate title contenders.
"Oozeball," Arizona State University, 10 a.m.
Problem: There's no beach to play volleyball.
Solution: Make your own.
Problem: The court is more mud than sand.
Solution: Get dirty.
"Clash of the Titans," University of Central Florida, 6 p.m.
Anytime a school's roller and ice hockey teams put their bragging rights on the line with a game of floor hockey (in order to raise money for charity), that earns a guaranteed shout-out in the Primer. If you never had the chance to play floor hockey in your 4th grade P.E. class, you missed out (specifically, you missed out on the chance to get back at kids you didn't like by "accidentally" slashing them in the shins.)
NCAA Hockey Tournament: Bemidji State at No. 2 Notre Dame, 7:30 p.m.
The Starting Sixteen begins paring themselves down to the Frozen Four. The Fighting Irish lost to Boston College in last year's title game, but they won't have to worry about that this year. The defending champs were left out in the cold (or more accurately, left out in the warmth.)
The Expanded MIT Spam Conference, MIT
This year's conference motto: "Putting an End to All Natural Male Enhancement."
NCAA Men's Swimming and Diving Championships, Texas A&M University
You know how Happy Gilmore changed the "class" of fans who showed up at (fictional) golf events? I'm hoping Michael Phelps' "youthful indiscretion" has the same effect on crowds at swim meets.