Chris Cooley Q&A (cont.)

Cooley: I live in the boonies and I had satellite Internet and it was horrible. I couldn't get a connection. So, for two months it hasn't worked at all and I'm too lazy to fix it. So I can't really play fantasy baseball. When I have to work on the blog, I have to go to Redskins Park or my brother's house.

SI.com: Are you working on getting Internet back?

Cooley: There's no cable Internet for me. There are no cable possibilities. I tried to make contacts, I tried to ask how much I could pay or do for the company. But they won't do anything.

SI.com: You don't have Internet, yet you have more than 4,200 friends on Facebook.

Cooley: I'm gonna be honest with you. Tanner runs it. I don't even know my password. He's shown it to me and I'll give him my status updates and he'll post them. I looked through it with him one day and saw a bunch of my old friends from high school and thought, "Man, I'm a d--- for never talking to them." But it's for good networking or if you have a blog. My mom recently had a charity event for breast cancer. We ended up getting 250 guests to show up and more than 100 were from Facebook.

SI.com: So I guess you don't Twitter, either?

Cooley: I don't. Everyone thinks I'm a computer savvy guy or a technology junkie. Technology is my kryptonite. I'm horrible with it. I got the blog thing down. I can do the updates and I can do the video, but beyond that I have to work at it and it's a pain in the a-- for me. But I think I have a Twitter account. I don't know.

SI.com: I had a bunch of questions about the Internet and blogs ready for you, but now you tell me you don't have Internet.

Cooley: (Laughing) I watch the news and read the Washington Post a lot these days.

SI.com: OK, I'll improvise. Who are the funniest athletes in sports?

Cooley: Clinton Portis is so spontaneous. When you ask him to do something for you, it can be really funny. Fred Smoot is the same way. I think Jason Campbell is a funny guy. For some reason, when he's talking to me or Tanner, he's really open. But he's so straight-forward with the media. So we've gotten a lot of good feedback from Campbell. Alex Ovechkin is HILARIOUS. He's hard to get to know, but he's a good dude.

SI.com: You're a big Capitals fan. What did you think of their first-round series against the Rangers?

Cooley: Dude, that was awesome. I think that's what they needed because they were playing poorly toward the end of the season. So to have a little bit of a scare and then play hard and get back into good hockey puts them in real good shape.

SI.com: And their series with the Penguins?

Cooley: I think they're gonna start much stronger. I think they're a fantastic team, and I think it was a big change to have Jose Theodore sit down. You never know. I don't know enough about hockey, but I didn't think they played hard in Game 1 and 2, so I think they'll come out and play much harder.

SI.com: It was just announced that the Bengals are going to be featured on Hard Knocks. Thoughts?

Cooley: Seriously? Well, they're usually the highest crime-rate team in the NFL, so they'll have plenty of characters to choose from and they could have plenty of drama.

SI.com: That reminds me, another memorable blog incident was your tiff with Browns' fans after you said "I would be pissed if I got my ass shipped to Cleveland."

Cooley: I just said I didn't want to go to the Browns. It wasn't anything about the city of Cleveland. But that's the thing about blogs. Everybody can comment. And a lot of times people are really commenting on the comments. So a bunch of Cleveland fans were d---s, and at first I wasn't going to respond to it, but I got one of the most ignorant e-mails I've ever read and I published it.

I had so many things I really wanted to say, but I think I handled it in a sarcastic way and was pretty straightforward without saying too much. And if you read that post, I didn't really get much response from Cleveland after that. Honestly, what can you say if you're a Browns fan? You can say I'm a d---. What else can you say? Telling me I suck at football doesn't really hurt my feelings. And saying stuff about my wife isn't going to bother me, either. But this was just one incident, 99 percent of blog comments are good.

SI.com: Is it still cool to be married to a cheerleader?

Cooley: I think it would be so cool if she were still a cheerleader. But it's still awesome. My wife is amazing. She's so cool, she let's me do what I want to do, she loves football.

SI.com: Do women and groupies approach you more when they know you're married?

Cooley: You wanna know what? I expected there to be some sort of groupie something to be going on at the hotel, but it does not happen in NFL hotels. There aren't girls hanging around, no one is waiting around for guys. And at that point, you can't get anyone in your room. There's security on all the floors. Before I came into the league, I thought there would be something there, but there's not. That's the thing about the NFL. The road trips aren't really anything crazy. Plane rides are always fun. But we don't spend days on the road.

SI.com: Tell me a good road-trip story.

Cooley: The year we won five in a row at the end of the season to make the playoffs, we played the Rams in St. Louis, and that morning six or seven of us had a bacon-eating contest. I had 39 pieces of bacon. And dude, if you've ever been to St. Louis, the bacon is UNBELIEVABLE. It's mandatory to eat bacon in St. Louis. It's amazing. Anyway, we won the game, and it was the best game I played all year. I felt like s---, but I had seven or eight catches.

SI.com: Let's get back to women for a second. If I put you in charge of Hot Clicks, which celebrity would we see in the lead photo?

Cooley: Let me think, because you go through different cycles. I just had one I was talking about the other day. Who's the Mormon girl on Dancing with the Stars?

SI.com: Julianne Hough.

Cooley: Yeah, she's smokin'. Or, actually, you know what picture I would want up, to be honest with you? Megan Fox in Transformers looking under the car hood.

SI.com: We can do that. Last question. You guys have mini-camp coming up and before you know, it'll be time for training camp. As a veteran, do you despise camp?

Cooley: I don't dislike training camp. It gets easier and easier. The only thing I don't like about it is there's so much enthusiasm from so many young players. We have like 40 rookies in camp and they have so much enthusiasm about being part of the team, and everyone's so excited and they play so hard, and to me it's like "F--- guys, it's just a practice."

Megan Fox in "Transformers," as requested by Chris Cooley. Courtesy of DreamWorks SKG