What's Jim Harbaugh's deal? New 49ers coach is under pressure

What's your deal?

Hey, it could happen. Sunday at Candlestick Park, Seattle coach Pete Carroll could reprise his most famous interaction with rookie 49ers coach Jim Harbaugh.

Two years ago, when Carroll was king of the college football world and Harbaugh was a challenger to the throne, Harbaugh's Stanford team convincingly and unashamedly trounced mighty USC, with Harbaugh even going for a two-point conversion late in the game to run up the score.

It was a tipping point for both coaches: the loss may have helped hasten Carroll's departure for the NFL and the win may have elevated Harbaugh to the point of becoming the Next Big Thing.

After that game, at the handshake at midfield, an irritated Carroll snapped, "What's your deal?"

Harbaugh replied, "What's your deal?" -- admittedly not the most creative retort.

If he has a chance to elaborate on Sunday -- and if he's willing to take some truth serum -- Harbaugh might come up with a different answer:

"Here's my deal, Pete. I left a cushy job at Stanford, where I could do no wrong and no one questioned me, to come 17 miles down the freeway to what has become a coaching graveyard. I'm the 49ers' fifth coach in a decade (sixth if you count the interim guy who coached the meaningless last game of last season). And who knew that second-guessing the 49ers coach was one of these people's favorite pastimes, right behind wine-tasting and fake beard-wearing?

"I'm supposed to be the savior: I'm supposed to be the second-coming of Bill Walsh, may he rest in peace. I've helped fuel those expectations by paying homage to Walsh, who was very nice to me when I got to Stanford, and by installing a version of his West Coast offense. And it doesn't hurt that we have that Stanford lineage in common.

"These people are hungry for a good team: they haven't been to the playoffs in eight years. This season is the 30th anniversary of that 1981 magical season that launched a dynasty but there's a whole generation that can't remember a time when the 49ers were more than an NFL bottom-feeder.

"Here's the problematic part of my deal, Pete. I left a group of overachievers at Stanford for the NFL, where everyone achieves at their own level. And the level here has been mediocre at best.

"I'm trying my rah-rah, energy and passion-that-knows-no-bounds stuff but I'm not sure how it flies with a bunch of professionals. They just spent three years with Mike Singletary, who tried to motivate them for 45 minutes every morning and wanted them to be "Physical with an F" whatever that means. So I don't know how far that collegiate energy will go at crunch time -- maybe you can give me a few pointers on that? I did buy them all blue collared short sleeve shirts -- the kind mechanics wear -- with their names sewn onto them. Get it? We want to be a blue-collar team. The guys seem to like them. I'm thinking about buying them lunch pails next week.

"Here's another part of my deal. I also -- and this one hurts -- left the best quarterback in college football up the road, the best NFL prospect to come along in a while. Andrew Luck is something -- oh man, is he ever. I'd like people to believe I made him what he is but in private even I don't think that's true. Some guys just have it. And Luck does.

"Instead of Luck, I've got Alex Smith. He's my starter and my guy, as I've let anyone know who would listen for the past eight months. Yeah, I know Alex hasn't had a lot of success in the NFL for the past six years, but what was I going to do? We had that lockout; we didn't have a lot of options. I needed a quarterback, Alex needed a job, so I convinced him to get some Armadillo skin, turn off the talk radio shows and come on back to the team. Yeah, I heard the fans booing him in the preseason. I turned up my headphones.

"Behind him? Well, we've got a rookie I really like in Colin Kaepernick. I mean, he's no Andrew Luck, but he has raw potential. And then we have another guy -- give me a minute and it'll come to me. Oh yeah, an undrafted rookie named Scott Tolzien who the Chargers just cut. We added him over the weekend.

"So that's my deal: from the best quarterback in the college game to Alex Smith backed up by two rookies. A lot of people think that we need an experienced veteran at quarterback and there were a few guys out there: your former quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, for one. But instead we added Josh McCown midway through camp and then just cut him last Saturday.

"That caused a lot of people to scratch their heads and say 'What's his deal?' Why do people always want to ask me that question?

"Sure, I guess it looks funny to some people: Smith who has been injury prone for the past four seasons backed up by two untested rookies. And all of them playing behind an offensive line that at times during the preseason looked as sturdy as a Motel 6 shower curtain. If Alex goes down I'll be handing my offense over to the kid who was running the Pistol in Reno last fall.

"But I know about quarterbacks. Don't forget I was a fairly capable NFL quarterback myself. People often do forget that but they've been reminded this week because of the Peyton Manning injury. I'm the answer to a trivia question: who was the last quarterback since Peyton Manning to start for the Colts? Yep, yours truly.

"So I know about quarterbacks. And I may have a plan up my sleeve, though I'm not going to divulge it to you or anyone else. In fact, I'm not divulging much of anything: I've turned being evasive and argumentative into an art form. No one much cared when I was evading questions 17 miles up the freeway, but then again no one came to my press conferences; they don't care much about college football around here. But now they're calling me Belichick-like. I was taking that as a compliment until I heard someone clarify it by saying, 'the Cleveland years.'"

"Here's my deal: five years for $25 million. That's not quite as big as your deal, Pete, but it's close. Problem is my bosses think I'm the entire answer; they added a few parts but didn't spend a lot of money to upgrade a roster that finished 6-10 last season. My boss Jed York has gone around bragging that the team already landed "the biggest free agent on the market." That would be yours truly.

"Another part of my deal is that I'm supposed to beat you, Pete. That's different from it was back when we were in the Pac-10, which doesn't even exist anymore. Back then, beating a Pete Carroll team was supposed to be a great accomplishment. A sign of something. But now it seems expected because as average as my team is, yours is supposed to flat-out awful. Even though you slipped into the playoffs at 7-9, you've overhauled your roster and no one expects much of you. So I guess that's the good part of my deal today: the NFC West champions may be worse than we are.

"If I can run up the score again on you, you're damned right I'm going to try to. There hasn't been a lot of swagger in 49ers land for awhile. However, if I lose to you, at this dump of a stadium on opening day, there are going to be repercussions, boos, bad vibes.

"My deal? It remains to be seen."