Since I'm a starting pitcher and that means I only have to actually work for a combined 60 hours a year, it leaves me a lot of time to spend on Twitter. I'm very finicky about who I follow, so I feel confident in giving advice to you on who you should be following. Here's my top five athletes, and top five funny people accounts.
. Logan Morrison
: He's very funny, very crude and he's always in the news because of his Twitter account.
. Blake Griffin
: He doesn't tweet very often but when he does he's funny, so that lands him here. This list doesn't have a lot of thought put into it if you couldn't tell.
. Paul Bissonnette
clearly has a crush on this guy, so that's how I found out about him. But I think Paul's ultimate goal is to let us know that he enjoys the company of women and thus far he's succeeding.
. Joey Barton
: Maybe some of you are soccer fans, maybe you aren't. If you are, you know who this guy is, and if you aren't, you should follow him and find out. Probably the most outspoken athlete in the world, and he doesn't just set his bridges on fire, he napalms entire villages.
. Arian Foster
: This guy single-handedly won a few fantasy leagues for me a few years back, so that's why he's on this list. I don't even care that he's actually good to follow, to be honest.
. Rob Delaney
: This guy is the king of Twitter. I guess. I don't know what that means really, but people say it and he's very, very funny so it works.
. Tim Siedell
: He's gotten really famous for his funny Twitter account, and for good reason.
. Guy Endore-Kaiser
: Funny name, really funny person.
. Mark Leggett
: I really don't know anything about this guy other than I find him hysterical and his avatar is a picture of a cat in deep thought.
. Danny Zuker
: He works on Modern Family
, which is a very funny show, and he has a very funny Twitter account. I'm putting this here in the hopes that he'll see it and then forward my info to Sofia Vergara
so we can run away together.