Former Jets defensive lineman Mark Gastineau didn't ask any sideline reporters to kiss him, but he did sound, um, a bit off while giving a speech during halftime of Monday night's game between the Jets and Texans.

The NFL commissioner took a beating from players regarding Bountygate and the replacement refs. Now, Packers linebacker Clay Matthews is going after the league for a double standard when it comes to player safety.

Alex S., of Fairfax, Va., requested some love for UFC ring girl Brittany Palmer on his birthday. This gallery -- and this video -- should do the trick.

Bears defensive lineman Israel Idonije tweeted a picture of a $38,091.91 dinner bill last night with the hashtag "Rookie Night." Some blogs and sites, such as ESPN.com, picked up the story. There was only one problem: It was a joke and not a real bill.

New Celtics guard Jason Terry changes the tables on fans by asking them for autographs.

This clip perfectly sums up the state of local news. During a report about a woman who was injured by a bull (in a ridiculous contest where people actually let a bull charge at them, but that's a whole other rant), the newscast plays Wipeout underneath the video. (Thanks to Chris, of Hartford, for the video.)

UPDATE: My apologies to WFSB. The newscast did NOT pipe in Wipeout, it was playing at the fair during the bull charging contest. I am an idiot.