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The good guys Revealing the roster for baseball's all-character teamsPosted: Wednesday March 20, 2002 1:32 PM
People talk about the green grass and bright sun and joyous innocence of Spring Training, and to this I say, HOGWASH! Spring Training is about one thing, and one thing only -- Burger King. The roads of Florida are littered with Burger Kings. Therefore, so is my expanding stomach. That wondrous red-and-orange sign, just calling athlete and scribe alike to c'mon in, take a load off and enjoy a tasty BK Broiler. But alas ... Tuesday, while driving from Orlando to Port St. Lucie, I came upon a hideous truth: The BK Broiler is no more. Thanks to the corporate wahoos at Burger King, who surely did their market research by polling 50 morons between the ages of 15 and 22, the BK Broiler is now the Chicken Whopper. Gross. As Julie at the pay window asked me, "Ain't that stupid?" Uhh ... yes. On to the questions ...
Regarding
last week's mailbag, if Barry Bonds is not an all-time great because of his
attitude, does that mean Ty Cobb, Rickey Henderson, Pete Rose and others are not
all-time greats? Where is the line drawn? What about those who had one too many
drinks or women, like Babe Ruth or Mickey Mantle? Who, then, are your all-time
greats?
Rick, from this vantage point, greatness is a waaaaaaaaaaaaay overused word. Yeah, Bonds and Cobb and Rose and all the rest of 'em may have been endowed with a remarkable ability to hit a wad of dried flesh with a stick, but greatness? Here's my modern-day great team, based on goodness:
Around the
horn:
Bench:
Rotation:
Bullpen:
What's with the Phillies? They had a pretty strong team last year, yet they
chose to pick up a bunch of losers this offseason. Wasn't there at least one
decent free agent they could have added? Enough with the rebuilding, let's try
to take the next
step.
Walter, do you remember when we worked at the University of Delaware student newspaper together? You were a photographer, and we assigned you to fly to Minneapolis to shoot Twins pitcher Keith Garagozzo (a UD grad who enjoyed a brief cup o' coffee). Remember how many useable pictures you returned with? The point is, before you throw around the ol' "loser" tag, consider who's being bashed. The Phillies were impressed with Terry Adams as a starter in L.A., and if nothing else, the guy is a gritty, sound No. 4 man with a 95-mph fastball and a hard slider. But you're right. Except for the return of catcher Mike Lieberthal, the new Phillies are the old Phillies. Until the new stadium comes along and generates fresh revenue, don't expect too many big-time free agents to join the mid-market Phils.
How do you view the Scott Rolen situation? Will the prospect of playing for a
large contract provide the incentive for him to have a productive year, or will
his disagreements with management turn him into a sulking, underperforming third
baseman?
Look, let's be honest here. Last year Rolen never handled himself well (re: contract and his feud with manager Larry Bowa), and it turned one of Philadelphia's most popular athletes into Shawn Bradley. But contract or no contract, the dude plays hard. Given a clean bill of health (he's fully healed from last September's sprained ankle), Rolen is a stud third baseman with a gamer's mentality. I don't think he needs money to motivate him.
What kind of value does Shannon Stewart have as a Rotisserie
outfielder?
Rotisserie baseball was founded by Satan. Run!
Do the Marlins have enough hitters to go along with their strong young
pitching staff? I think the Fish will take a big step forward this year,
especially if they can put all the negative stuff (contraction, stadium issues,
etc.) behind them.
The Marlins suffered mightily from their offseason front-office mayhem, and it might cost 'em big time. As other franchises made moves, Florida was paralyzed by the uncertainty of ownership change. This is a team that could really use one more big bat in the middle of the lineup, a la Jeromy Burnitz or Phil Nevin or Daryle Ward -- all players who were available this offseason, but were never even pursued by the Marlins. Yeah, Florida hit a franchise-record 166 homers last year, but save for Cliff Floyd, nobody scares opposing pitchers. So, do they have enough pop? Not in the NL East, where Atlanta and the Mets will slug people to death.
In last
week's mailbag, you mentioned Cincinnati's "Grade-C" lineup. I
acknowledge that I am biased toward my beloved Reds, but wouldn't you say that
the lineup is one of the team's bright spots? When healthy, Larkin is one of the
best offensive shortstops in the game. Adam Dunn, one of the league's hottest
young hitters, bats behind Ken Griffey and Sean Casey, who has hit no less than
.310 with 85 RBIs for the past three seasons. We also have a solid run producer
in Aaron Boone and one of the better offensive second basemen in Todd Walker.
What makes this a "Grade-C"
lineup?
My mom says I never admit my mistakes. My wife says I never admit my mistakes. My shrink says I never admit my mistakes. They're all wrong --I don't make mistakes. Just kidding. I admit my mistake. You're right -- the Reds' lineup is probably a bit better than I allowed. It's certainly not great, but if Dunn lives up to his stud status and Larkin has a bit more gas in the tank, the team can score some runs. I'll change my grade to a B-.
Jeff, thanks for writing off the Red Sox already. I'm sure you did the same
thing with the Patriots. With a healthy Pedro, Nomar and Jason Varitek, and some
nice offseason additions, including a new GM and manager, what is it that keeps
writers like you from giving the Sox credit? They have to be considered a
legitimate playoff contender, don't they? And assuming you identify the pitching
staff as the liability, what do the Sox need to improve? I think Tim Wakefield,
Rich "El Guapo" Garces, Casey Fossum and Ugueth Urbina form a solid
bullpen. And Pedro, John Burkett, Dustin Hermanson and Derek Lowe have all
enjoyed successful seasons the last few
years.
Al, you smell like baked beans. Hell, listen to yourself -- Wake? El Guapo? Casey Fossum? Fossum!? At best, that's the makings of a highly mediocre bullpen with an intriguing collection of knuckleballs and fat dudes. And last I checked, Tony Clark was little beyond a sound, below-average major league first baseman with a guaranteed 100-plus strikeouts in his bat. For the 1,645th time, your team doesn't stink. It just plays in the wrong division.
Jeff, what do you think of Derek Bell's "Operation Shutdown"
situation? Does this scrub know he hit .173 last season?
Last week I stopped by Pirates camp to write their scouting report for Sports Illustrated. I was quickly informed that Bell "isn't speaking to SI" because he was offended that we called him "the worst free agent signing of 2001." Derek Bell not speaking to SI is like Tiffany coming out with a new album. It's Tony Phillips announcing his retirement. It's Burger King changing the BK Broiler to the Whopper. Who friggin' gives a fig? Bell is a moderately well-intentioned guy, but he's one of those people who lacks the ability to step outside himself and observe. In his eyes, Derek Bell is a .300-hitting superstar with stud appeal. In the eyes of the world, Bell is the fourth outfielder for the Greater Pittsburgh YMCA Slo-Pitch Softball team.
Which league do you think will have the best races this season? I think the
NL, with the Braves, Mets, Cards, Astros, Cubs, Giants, D'Backs and Dodgers,
should have a thrilling race for the wild
card.
No question -- the NL is where it's at. While there are only a couple of true divisional contenders in the American League (Yankees, White Sox, Indians, Twins, A's, Mariners), the National League is a mishmosh of possibilities. I truly believe the Mets, Braves or Marlins can win the NL East, the Cards, Cubs or Astros the Central and the D-Backs, Dodgers, Giants or Padres the West.
Sports Illustrated senior writer Jeff Pearlman covers the baseball beat for
the magazine and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com.
Click here to send Jeff a question.
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