We're in a Heap of TroubleI went to the Olympics and a flea market broke outby Gerry Callahan
Now a good word for the pickpockets, muggers and thieves who have descended upon Atlanta for the Olympics: At least they work fast. They stick a knife in your ribs, remove your wallet and they're gone. As far as I can tell, the inhabitants of this town have a different game plan for the duration of the Games. They are determined to strip their visitors of everything but gold fillings, and they are in no hurry to do so.
Water may cost an arm and a leg, but it's nice to know you can get your soul cleansed for free.
photograph by
If you thought your greatest achievement was scoring a ticket to the gold medal basketball game, you were wrong. The real challenge is still ahead: Will you be able to slog through the slippery pin-swappers, the ubiquitous newspaper hawkers, the glassy-eyed street-corner preachers and the rest of the carnivorous sidewalk pests to make it to the Georgia Dome by tip-off? We can only hope the Greco-Roman wrestlers go to the body as aggressively as the army of entrepreneurs.
A good deal has been written about the high temperatures that suffocate this city, but the fact is, there are more-annoying obstacles. In Atlanta these days, it is not so much the heat as the humanity. A local Olympic official admitted that the downtown area has become a bit "cluttered," which is a nice way of saying if one person comes down with chicken pox, we're all in trouble. It's one thing to sweat through your shirt, but it's quite another to learn that the perspiration actually belongs to the guy behind you in the line for the rest room.
Tomorrow is expected to be another busy day at Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport, which is bracing for an additional 200,000 visitors. Unless the newcomers plan to grease themselves, it's hard to imagine how they will be able to squeeze into the downtown area. Already this place makes Bangkok look like Nome, and each square inch that has not been claimed by a human being has been covered by a corporate billboard, banner or tent.
On a positive note, there seems to be plenty of drinking water at hand, as long as you're carrying enough cash. Indeed, it's virtually impossible to take two steps in any direction without running into a young hustler with a Styrofoam cooler full of bottled water and a wad of small bills. These hustlers seem to be outnumbered only by the paper pushers. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reportedly has 320 journalists working on its bountiful Olympic coverage, and it appears that at least 310 are hawking extra editions on the sidewalk. It is hard to believe that a respected publication would use the Olympics as an opportunity to sell special editions to the souvenir-hungry public. How tacky. And there are so many better ways to spend your tourist dollars, such as paying to get into a shopping mall.
At first, the popular mall at Underground Atlanta looks like most other local tourist stops. There are security personnel standing guard at each entrance. The only difference at the Underground is that these sentries have the added duty of charging people $3 just to walk through the mall after 6 p.m. "But you only have to pay once," one guard said, and you can come and go until midnight. Now, there at last is a bargain: a night at the mall for one low price. Dear Mom and Dad: Couldn't afford gymnastics tickets, but I got into the Gap the other day. Saw all the new fall fashions. Wish you were here.
Of course, of all the advantages that Athens, Greece, had over Atlanta in the bidding for these Games, this was probably the most underrated: It isn't a Greyhound bus ticket away for every freelance evangelist. There are a few sidewalk stands that offer free water, free lemonade and even free Olympic pins. All you have to do is convert to the religion of the person behind the counter, and a pin is yours. I knew the souvenirs would be expensive, but I didn't think they were going to cost me my soul. My favorite quote of the week comes from the pamphlet-pushing woman who cornered a confused young girl along North Avenue, near Georgia Tech University. Said the woman, "But even Muslims can turn themselves over to Jesus."
There were reports that ACOG officials were rousting the homeless out of the most visible areas before the Games, so I was suspicious when I saw a man with an official ACOG credential bending over to talk to Tim, a grubby young man who was sitting on his bedroll at the corner of Luckie and Peachtree streets. When the official left, I asked Tim if the ACOG guy was trying to boot him off his corner.
"Nah," said Tim."He just wanted to talk about God. He thinks the Lord could really help me."
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Sixteen more days. Lord help us all.
SI Olympic Dailies
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