"We would come back to the room after practice, and what's frightening is that it seemed we were on the same level in terms of being just tired," says Mya Mangawang , Devens's best friend and herself an athletic standout at Dartmouth. "She never articulated that it was a dire situation."

Mangawang, 23, only recently broke her public silence about the suicide. And while she is reluctant to blame the death on Devens's fanatical devotion to sports, Mangawang allows that her friend may have been driven by a desire to live up to others' expectations. "I'm reading this book on a woman educator," says Mangawang, "and she tells her kids, 'Always try to fly.' But it's dangerous to be always pushing people to be superstars. You need to pick, 'What is success to you?'"

Since Devens's death, Mangawang has entered a graduate program in higher education and student affairs at the University of Vermont and, through a career in education, hopes to honor her friend's memory. "With Sarah in mind,'' she says, "my goal is to create an environment where students are at ease being themselves."

Mangawang once envisioned a different future. A month before Devens died, the two traveled to Idaho and vowed to return one day, Mangawang with her doctorate in educational philosophy and Devens as an Olympian. Instead, Mangawang is left with this: a recurring nightmare in which she is jogging with Devens, who says she's tired. Suddenly Devens disappears, leaving Mangawang alone and frantically calling her friend's name. "Every night I have this dream," says Mangawang, "and it's because I feel there's something I could've done."

--Maria Ricapito