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A poem for the holidays
Posted: Wednesday December 30, 1998 10:59 AM
With apologies to The New Yorker, which always offers a clever Christmas
poem, this has been such a wonderful year in sport -- while the rest of the
world is so depressing right now -- that I think that this is the appropriate
Christmas to celebrate the sport's year past in verse. And
so:
Bring together our champions of
'98,
That we might raise a glass --
celebrate!
This wondrous year of fun and
games,
So studded with stupendous
names:
Come in, John Elway , how Super
sweet,
Stuff a stocking with Picabo
Street .
Holyfield and Lewis , don't spar here
--
It's only a place for all our good
cheer.
And Bob Baffert , you Derby
showman,
Share your encore with Scotty
Bowman .
Cal Ripken , lest you rest too
long,
Off your duff, give us a
song.
Yo, Jeff Gordon , in flags
checkered,
Change gears and cheer that greatest
record:
Seventy homers for Mighty
McGwire ,
He, warming his abs by our holiday
fire.
But, then hang up a sprig of mistletoe,
so
We can plant kisses upon Sammy
Sosa !
Mark O'Meara -- how festive in jacket
o'green!
Bring in your young Tiger , and the
teens:
On Hingis , on Kobe , on Lipinski , on Venus and
Serena
And the Little Leaguers from Tom's
River .
But now, in tandem, no tinsel here, the elite
--
Jordan , His Airness, and Sampras , just
Pete.
Both won their sixth title.
Half-a-dozen!
Come in and announce them, Boomer
Esiason!
Our party grows, now all the best
squads
Jam round the buffet and quaff the
eggnogs.
There's the Vols and the Red Wings , the Yankees -- such
gloss!
Yes, even allow in Steinbrenner , The
Boss!
But El Duque , El Perfecto (that's David Wells ) -- such
glory!
This team rang all bells; victory, Joe
Torre .
And the Czechs -- good skates -- of Square
Wencelas,
While down the Champs, France : cheered as the
champs.
And here come our own hoop champions:
wassail!
Tubby Smith from Kentucky -- yet skinny and
hale,
But much better named: Pat Summitt of
Tenn,
And the current top: UConn -- women and
men!
So swells the spirit of our holiday
fest,
We'll even let in the best of the
rest.
Both basketball Utahs , college and pro
--
Oh, Malone and Stockton , what a noble
duo!
There's still something about Brett
Fav-re.
And Tony Gwynn -- you're forever to ...
savor.
In fact, so merry are all our good sports,
'Tis only just two who we find out of sorts
--
They're outside, they are, Scrooges, a pair
of,
With names that foreshadow all we despair
of.
For there is Stern of the one side, Hunter his
foe,
And if a rose by any name smell sweet,
so
Grim is the name Stern, so savage is
Hunter:
That such names cannot join a season asunder.
But as this is that time of love and of peace,
We'll welcome these rivals, if they will but
cease
To employ their harsh names that signal
dispute,
And take on signs sweeter that might well bear
fruit.
So to our Christmas party enter, these two
men,
But named more aptly now, thus to
befriend:
Come in, David Joyous , the commissioner,
And Billy Gatherer , the players
petitioner.
Joyous and Gatherer -- put Stern and Hunter away,
So with these soft new names,
hooray!
Our party will not only have such joie de
vivre,
But it will, for the lockout, write a blessed finis.
Merry
Christmas!
These commentaries, which appear each Wednesday on National Public Radio's Morning Edition, are posted weekly by CNN/SI.
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