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Great expectations
Posted: Saturday December 26, 1998 11:59 AM
Come, look into my crystal eggnog cup:
In 1998 it was cool to hate Microsoft. In 1999 it will be cool to hate the NBA.
In 1998 the ABL called it quits. In 1999 it will be Major League Soccer’s turn.
In 1998 a new and improved Vinny Testaverde led the Jets into the NFL playoffs. In 1999 the real Vinny will throw four interceptions in one half and lead his team into summer vacation.
In 1998 everyone disliked Jeff Gordon. In 1999 everyone will dislike Jeff Gordon even more.
In 1998 George Foreman turned 49. In 1999 he will turn 48.
In 1998 you almost went broke attending a major league sporting event. In 1999 you will get smart and for the same price go see a minor league baseball game, an arena football game and a WNBA game.
In 1998 basketball and football players received light penalties for striking their coaches. In 1999 the coaches will fight back.
In 1998 I broke 100 on the golf course for the first time. In 1999 I will break my driver over my knee for the first time.
In 1998 NBA players pumped shots into the net. In 1999 NBA players will pump gas into your tank.
In 1998 pitchers were worth 100 million bucks. In 1999 third-grade teachers will also command nine figures: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9.
In 1998 the NHL continued to be the best league with the worst publicity. In 1999 the WNBA will continue to be the worst league with the best publicity.
In the final month of 1998 the Denver Broncos lost two in a row. In the first month of 1999 they will win three in a row.
In 1998 Mark McGwire hit 70 homers and Sammy Sosa hit 66. In 1999 Sammy Sosa will hit 70 homers and Mark McGwire will hit 66.
In 1998 the NFL team in Tennessee was called the Oilers. In 1999 that same team will be called the Titans. (Sorry, I wanted to get at least one these right.)
In 1998 bad calls in the NFL were the refs’ fault. In 1999 bad calls in the NFL will be the owners’ fault -- if they don’t vote for instant replay.
In 1998 you painted your face for a playoff game. In 1999 the hospital you escaped from will find you and return you to your nice, quiet room.
In 1998 several teams abandoned their cities. In 1999 several cities will abandon their teams.
In 1998 a pompous, goofy, know-it-all irked you on the Internet. In 1999, a pompous, goofy, know-it-all will really irk you on the Internet.
We’re giving Flem a break for the holidays. He’ll be back on January 7. Meanwhile, if you've got a suggestion, a comment or a question, don't just sit there, bring it on! Click here to send an e-mail to Flem, or address it yourself: flemfile@aol.com.
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